Leave me please...how to avoid suitors/admirers...what did you do?

i say, you can't help it when men flock over you. hehe always in love huh? :) i had my share back then too. -lol- and here's one: that time... it wasn't that fun to have a guy following me all the time. boy oh boy... hehe i know how you felt and why you had to do what you did just to avoid a guy. hehe in my sophomore year in the university i lived within the campus grounds and so did E who was a graduating law student in the same university. i was overwhelmed when he showed interest because he was 8 years older (against my 17... almost 18) and law students were hot back then. so at first, all the attentions felt nice because i get to hang-out with someone older. but the catch was... i had a boyfriend that time for about 2 years (a highschool sweetheart and my first bf C but he was living about 3-4 hours away from my campus so i didn't see him that often). so i felt like i was kinda cheating even if i hadn't done anything i wouldn't do while hanging out with a male friend or a group of friends. the fact was i really did enjoy the companionship and someone to talk with and spend time with. all that changed after he stole a kiss... and something more. clearly i was that naive all along. ugh! so i started avoiding him not because i wasn't attracted to him also, but because i was in a long distance relationship and it was unfair to the bf. he knew all along i had a bf that time but he was really persistent even when i asked for some time to think things over. he didn't let up. he even arranged for an out of town weekend trip for my 18th birthday just for the two of us. and that's the time i really really wanted him to back off. i wanted some space to breathe. i felt he was so possessive already and acting like he was my bf. he knew my class schedules and he was always there talking with my classmates and chatting up a professor sometimes. i asked him to leave me alone but did he listen? no. once, he even waited for me outside a ladies' locker rooms. i was tempted to leave thru the window. but i couldn't. so i stayed put for over an hour hiding in one of the shower stalls just until i'm assured he left already. i missed one of my classes that day which really pissed me off. so i changed my habits, leaving for my class half an hour earlier, taking my meals elsewhere, joining a study group to keep me late every night. anything to avoid E. my roommate took notice and she asked me to talk to E once and for all so that E would stop... especially when he forcefully came to our 3rd floor room slightly drunk one night when i wouldn't want to come down to the receiving area to see him. it only stopped when i didn't come home to the dorm on the night of my 18th birthday. (i spent about an hour with the bf then spent the rest of the day with my sister's family.) E thought i spent the night with my bf and did all sorts of things. -lol- well i did avoid him for the rest of the school year. and he finally understood about the word NO. until after 1 1/2 years later... when we bumped into each other again on an overpass/foot bridge. he followed me until i agreed to see him for lunch the next day where i learned that he got a job in an auditing firm and he's reviewing for the bar exam and that he went into counselling after i dropped out of his life. and in not so many words, i received the second marriage proposal i had that year... which was also the second one i refused. as to why... it's an even longer story. hahaha

hello jaiho, Well i don't accept anything from him if he is waiting for me i make sure that i am with someone so there will be no chance for him to take advantage of the situation,there was two dmirers before acted like my boyfriend even they are not i was pissed off and i told them that if they can wait another 4 years then one of them can be my husband in the future or if they can to my father about their feelings for me it seems they are not really that serious so after a months they just vanish . I simply don't entertain so they will not assume that the feelings is mutual. Glad to know you are always inlove

i never experienced being stalked by a girl, and i wonder why, my mom even told me that i am the most handsome boy he ever had. at least my mom told me that.

Here you are again my dear bonita, bonita, bonita, my dear bonita mia. My beautiful and ever gorgeous bonita that no wonder lot of guys are deadly fallin' in loved with you. When I was at my blooming years of my life. I would never court a lady, no matter how I felt in love with her, how beautiful she maybe as long I don't have a feeling that she likes me also. Am a "slowly but surely"(tender juicy hotdog)type of a man in terms of courtship. I would find lot of ways to know her feeling about me, even just a little positive points that would ignite my urge to court her... On the reverse side, I had once an experience in my life, and I would never forget it when a girl actually courted me,,sounds hair-raising but yes..but that girl was known for her being playgirl but thanks I was never tempted to say YES. That was the time when I was still traveling as related to my former job. Couple of years ago, I heard that girl got pregnant but unwed and became single parent with her son. You like more story bonita? ha ha ha ha Nice day my dear bonita..

hi jaiho! I just don't show interest on them or on whatever they give but I also don't become rude to the. I still try to be good on them but not too friendly, I just treat them like a person, hehe I think because I am kinda scared before on what a hurting man can do, I just talk nicely to them telling that I am not yet ready for those things. haha It reminds me of one guy before, he's really annoying, he keeps on going to our house, he's someone who's "feeling" feeling close to my parents, to my brother...grrr and yikes he's just so "OA"! haha I just really hate it when I know that he's in our house again but we still treat him good when he's visiting, of course he went there as a person so we treat him as a person. But time comes that I really want him to stop going to our house, what I do is to conspire with my parents. haha one time when he went to our house my parents said that I am not yet home, he said that he will wait and will just go to a friend's house for a while(which is just beside our house) and when I arrived, I go strauht to my room and sleep, and when he comes back my parents told him that I am not home yet and that I will not go home for that day...hehe the next time he visited, I told him that I am not ready yet for what he wanted and that my parents don't want it too...haha and so he stopped visiting me, the next month, he saw me with another guy...haha my husband now.

That's one of the dangers of being so lovable as 'always being in love' makes you. The best way I can think of to get rid of any problem (persistent suitors included, maybe? ) is to ignore them. I know, because I used to be a 'persistent suitor' (well, not really a "suitor"--as I do not have sufficient means to 'suit'--but a persistent "guy who followed a girl as much as totally-legal"). And--once I 'got it through my skull' that the girls DIDN'T LIKE me showing up on their doorsteps--I found something better to do. And I wouldn't have persisted for so long if they had never opened the door and let me in

I am now married. But when I was younger, I would directly tell them (in a nice way) if I wasn't interested in them and then I would ignore everything they did. It was easy enough for me and most people got the message after a few more attempts of trying to woo me. But one time I wasn't so lucky and I had to get my dad involved. I don't know what he said/did to the suitor...but he handled it.

Dear friend, May be I would accept their gifts as they are loving me and I do not want to hurt their feelings, but if they are mad at me and hurts me I feel it is to be taken care. Moreover if someone love me that much I feel that person is doing for my love back, in that case I may give it provided with limitations.

well.. girls, nothing really you can do about it... if you are pretty , guys will never let you off the hook... as for guys, this is a hypothetical question... :)

Well I think in both cases, girls and boys, the worst problem is simple a lack of communication. I've never really had a problem with stalkers. I attribute this to simply being very direct. If a girl propositions me, I say "Sorry, I'm not interested in you." If she sends me gifts, I send them back. If she calls, I ignore. You have to have a unified direct response to the other person. Too often I see girls that want to try the "I think I'm busy on Friday" approach. Perhaps that will work on some guys, but others just assume that you are busy on Friday, and will ask you out again and again and again. Hey figure it out girls. If the guy keeps calling, it means he didn't get your indirect subtle hints. You need to say it directly, to his face, in a public place. Now don't be a jerk and humiliate, just say it directly face to face. You are not interested in him. Another thing I've seen my sister do, which is very bad, is accept gifts. Do not accept gifts. If he sends you a bunch of stuff, you return it. If you take the stuff he gives you, he'll assume you are interested. Further, the more he gives you, when he finds out you still don't like him, he'll get really mad because he'll think you were taking advantage of him. My sister had to move to a different house because she did this to a guy, accepted all his gifts, and then turned him down. He would show up screaming and banging on the door. Was he stupid? Yes. But my sister was stupid too. What did she think he would do taking all his stuff and then rejecting him? My suggestion again is, direct communication, face to face, straight answers. Never take gifts, give phone numbers, or addresses.

Hi didi No one followed me or gifted me anything like you mention... been a dry and dull life so far...

Hi jai, i did not faced such problem so far. I don't know, i am not experienced all these. Have a nice day.

actually it's very hard in situations like this to be nice and polite at the same time to not hurt other persons feelings. I really don't wanna come out as mean, so sometimes I'd just choose to ignore guys like that and somehow act the way they'd notice they're not really interesting me any much than maybe being a friend. I'm sorry to hear you've had such awkward experience. when it comes to stalking like that it's really overboard already and then it's hard already to still be nice and thnk about this persons feelings since somehow they not thinking about yours if they think stalking you is okay by any means.

be thankful that you are admirable but also be careful because there are those who do not want to accept no for an answer and gets frustrated if they feel they will not win the game of having you. Just entertain them and don't give harsh words,know them at least but don't go with them.Knowing them, you will be able to know how then you can avoid them.

the best thing to do is be honest. let the person know that although you are flattered, but you are not interested. that always worked for me

well, i am gonna take one of my best friend boy to talk with me and act like my boyfriend. i hope with that he is jealous and stay away from me

Jai beta I have told earlier i did not have love affairs prior to marriage, i was married in 1966, when i was just 23, it was arranged marriage but my wife loves me so much, we are one soul, two bodies only Thanks for sharing Cheers. BE HAPPY ALWAYS. Professor ‘Bhuwan’. .

I really didn't have any problems with suitors because I am not that person suitors would fall in line. I think I intimidate them. Anyway, there was one instance when I did have a suitor whom I didn't like. I just said to him, it wouldn't work and if we can only be friends. Gladly he accepted his fate, and I never heard from him again. And there was one when I was in high school, I said I don't want to have any relationships at this time. And the guy started to sour grape and said to me, You're not pretty anyway. The nerve! As if I would give him a chance!

long time a girl,there was one man admired me, everyday,he make a phone call to me,many many times one day,and always bought gifts to me,no matter whether i want or not,he asked me be him girlfriend,but at that time,i already have a boyfriend,he enforced me,and even suicied to threaten me,it made me very upset,and i can't put with it. in my opinion,if you do not want answer your admirer,do not give your phone number to them,and never accept gifts,even do not talk to much to them.

My only response is you reap what you sow. If you enjoy collecting suitors, you WILL get the occasional stalker Comes with the territory. If you want to avoid the situation, get a decent guy and settle down. That usually solves the problem!