Are All Of Your Children Still Living?
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
March 16, 2011 5:54am CST
As many of you know I am married, with no kids. Actually I do have God children that I love and would care for as my children if the need be. But most of you do not know that if I would have been able to carry any children I would have at least 3 kids. I think even though all of these ended up in Miscarriages, and one of them when I was not really that far along, God knew what he was doing and a lot of times I think I am better off not having had to worry about how I would have survived with them as well.
But many times I have wondered would things be any different? Where would I be living? I can guarantee I would have probably never met my husband and be who I am today. I am sure things would have been different, and hopefully in a Good way. I wonder if the memories are causing some of the migraines right now as well? Yesterday the 15th of March, would have been my first ones 24th Birthday. It does make me wonder where has time really gone and what things have transpired since then.
Personally I can never really say what life would be like now if they were here. It just makes me wonder how many others loose children in miscarriages and go around life wondering why, and do they tend to still miss them from time to time as well? They say this is easier because they were never born, but there is always that loss and void in my life and heart as well.
But life goes on and I have learned to Love and enjoy other children and pick certain ones to Love and spoil more when I can. I think God gives us children even if they are not our own to show us how special a life can be and to watch and learn from them many things we may not always know.
~~TINA~~
6 people like this
16 responses
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
16 Mar 11
I don't have any children either. Never miscarried. I have a friend who did. She is very sad when she sees children. I don't know what to say. She never had a child that lived. She tries to avoid children.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Mar 11
Personally I am glad that I am not like this. Yes, it is a sad state to never be able to carry children full term when you know you were once pregnant but eventually you have to learn to move on and enjoy life again. It just is so Sad that there are many of us out there who never could have a child when we tried.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Mar 11
Well, I know many times when something happens in someone's life some people will become more busy for a while as their way to deal with it, and others morn and sulk for a bit, and then there are those who sulk for yrs. I just have learned to Honor others respects and wishes until they are more ready to move on.
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
16 Mar 11
I have had one misscarriage and three foster children. I also gave birth to two children. My daughter is now 29 and has a child of her own...that's a great pleasure! But my son just turned 27 this week and he is still suffering from a head injury. I often have wondered what things I would have changed when he was younger...if I had known it was going to be like this...probably nothing - except I would have pushed him further to pursue his dreams since he wasn't going to get the rest of his life doing the things he so greatly enjoyed...
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Mar 11
Well, at least you are being Supportive for your son and trying to help him and able to move past this trauma where you can, and keeping strong. Even when you are wanting to feel down I am sure there are times where having your children makes you often want to smile and rejoice knowing God sees all and hears all and where would you be if you could have not had the miscarriages as well?
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
16 Mar 11
Dear friend,
Once my home was with many children, they were from neighbors, they come to play with my sister's son. I feel I was in a kinder garden. Moreover during any special occasions also I could see many children of my relatives. I fell much relaxed and enjoyable while being with kids, it is something special for me.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
16 Mar 11
Being around kids has always thrilled me. I used to always long for one of my own back when I was having the miscarriages but knew others kids were there for me to enjoy as well. I do have a lot of kids who are now grown and in their mid to late 20s who called me Mom, or the ones who I am a God mother for that make my life so much stronger as well. I know this is a Big motivation for sure.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
16 Mar 11
I'm so sorry.
I have 5 kids, all are alive and well. I did have 3 failed pregnancies.. but I did not view them as my children because the pregnancies failed so early on. I really didn't even know I was pregnant until they told me I was miscarrying. Or like with the last one they told me I was pregnant and then a couple hours later told me I had to have surgery to remove it because it was ectopic. I do think everything happens for a reason and we're all exactly where we're supposed to be.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Mar 11
It is true that things do happen for a reason even when we may not understand. I know I would not be where I am today had these miscarriages had never taken place, but personally I think this was a way of teaching and showing me how important life is, and when something big happens learn to work thru it and move on. Something better in time will always come along.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
16 Mar 11
I have one daughter who is nine and came into my life as a miracle because for six years I had a lot of problems falling pregnant. I’ve had two miscarriages and although I don’t recall dates I often think about those babies that didn’t make it, I wonder if what gender they were and what type of people they could have become but they weren’t meant to be here and I am so thankful for the one miracle I do have.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
16 Mar 11
Praise God for the daughter you do have for sure. I know that you must cherish her everyday and be Thankful. Yes, even though I do not always know the dates of most of the other miscarriages I know that the memories sometimes do make me a little sad. I think sometimes these were just a stepping stone in our lives to make us out to the people we are yet to become.
1 person likes this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
16 Mar 11
Hi Krause, As you probaly know I had one child,a son,who I gave up for adoption. He is 21 now and not met him yet. Only had contact through a few letters and phone calls. I can't imagine my life raising a child much less more! I think about him alot. I know someday we will meet. When, is up to him. He has alot on his plate and that is ok with me. He can take as much time as he needs! I am so grateful I never kept him or had more children! It was not in the cards for me and I know God had a lot to do with it! I do have two neices,4 nephews,2 great nephews and 1 great neice! Seeing them grow up and seeing them when I can is better then having children of my own! So I am grateful for these things!
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Mar 11
Sometimes, things happen and we are better of because of them. Personally it does sound like in your situation you knew what was best, and God seen to it that it happened that way for sure. I am sure you will meet your son again someday but have to answer for a lot of other things as well. Just enjoy those moments and know it was something that was Best for sure.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
25 Apr 11
My biological children are 10 and 4 and still living. There are other kids I've helped raise (mostly family) and I am close to them. They are all living. The oldest child is in their early 20s.
I sometimes do think about my friends who have lost children...especially the ones who had them for a few years before they lost. I feel for them...and even when I've never really known the child, I feel like it's one of my own that has been lost and wonder how the mother is able to carry on.
A friend of mine (from school...she's the same age as I am). I re-connected with her after 20 years and met her. She has 2 of her kids with her and I didn't think much of it since 2 is the norm where I am from. Later I found out that she had lost her oldest child to an accident 3 years back. I can't even explain how I felt when I heard the news. It affected me so much that I didn't know what to say to her.
10 days back a very famous Indian singer lost her 8 year old daughter in a swimming pool accident. The little girl had Down's syndrome and the singer had the child after 10-14 years of marriage. I felt the same way as I did with my friend when I heard the news.
If I wonder about these kids that are not mine...from time to time...I'm sure their family is similarly affected if not more.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
16 Mar 11
Tina I am sorry you have never been blessed with them
I am very lucky that I have 2 wonderful Children, my Daughter has turned 24 today
My Son will be 27 next Months
I was told I would never be able to have Children, the first one I lost, the Pregnancy with both my Children was hard and the amount of time I nearly lost them but I managed to keep hold of them and I know I am a very lucky Person and a very proud Mum
But I feel for People like you that has been through that sort of thing it is so sad
Hugs
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
15 Jun 11
Well, even though it would have been nice to have been able to carry one of them full term, with everything I have been thru and with all of the Health problems that I continue to endure at this moment, I continue to believe that God is in control and everything happens for a reason. I do have God children who Love me, and a wonderful husband so this helps fill the void for sure.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
18 Mar 11
My children are still all alive. I have three. One is grown and the other two are not far behind him. Two girls and a boy.
I had a very close friend that loved children and wanted one of her own soo much. Her first pregnancy was a miscarriage. She was devastated. She mourned that baby so much. It was very sad. She did have one a couple of years later. I think she will always miss that first one though.
I think there are reasons for everything but it is so hard to understand why people that want children so much have such a hard time having them and then there are so many unwanted and abused children out there.
I'm glad you have got your children...one way or the other..it is the joy and love they bring us that counts.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
18 Mar 11
Well, I was lucky enough to carry two of my children to term and they are both still alive at eight years old and four years old. However, had I carried all of my pregnancies to term I would have a son that would be almost 11 years old. Had I carried him to term, I don't know that I would be married to the person that I'm married to today and I also don't know that I'd have my other wonderful children. Then between Kathryn and Paul I lost a daughter and if I would have carried her I don't know that I would have Paul.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
17 Mar 11
I too never had any children. Just godchildren. I never suffered anything like you, it just was never the right time, and I was too selfish when I was younger. Children were never really high on my list. Sometimes I wished I had them. I am disabled and could never care for children now anyway and what is wrong with me (it is undiagnosed) could be genetic, so I guess it was for the best. I would have hated it if whatever is wrong with me was passed down. I do think God knew that I shouldn't have them and that was why it was never very important to me.
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
17 Mar 11
You're still young, you can still have babies of your own. Don't lose hope, there must be a reason why it happened. God will you give those children in his His time. I have 4 children, all grown up and I am afraid that one of these days they will leave me and go with their own lives and it will be me and my husband living alone in our house, but still I'm looking forward to seeing my grand children and enjoy my last days.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
17 Mar 11
Praising every single day that my daughter and son are both alive. I lost 3 prior to them and feel blessed daily to have both of them alive and healthy.
I was not raised by either parent so I do try to always remember the blessings I have been given.
@annapplez (208)
• Australia
17 Mar 11
I have two children, a son and a daughter. I nearly lost my daughter at 12 and a half weeks when I started to bleed and on top of that it was two days before my wedding. Thankfully my pregnancy continued and my daughter was born healthy and happy in October last year. My doctor think I may have suffered a miscarriage before I fell pregnant with my daughter, but they couldn't say for sure. But considering I had only just started thinking I might be pregnant when I started to bleed, I hadn't really thought about it much and wasn't overly emotionally upset. I cannot imagine what it is like to have lost three children and the heartache you must have gone through and still be going through. It is wonderful that you have faith in God and his plan. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
16 Mar 11
I have three living and lost one...and it was very painful...I don't care how far along you are you get a connection right away....I am glad you can get past it and enjoy other children....and yes....I do wonder what they would have been like etc...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Mar 11
I was very lucky. No problems conceiving, no miscarriages, all 3 children doing well. I'm really sorry that you weren't able to carry to term. :-(
