now i feel like i have a bad personality
By nikramos
@nikramos (698)
Philippines
March 16, 2011 9:41pm CST
lately it feels like im not too happy and that i need some re-assessment of how i typically am and how i should be.
so on most mornings, me and my mom argues about a lot of things. so this morning is another of them and she left to travel to another city with a sour face because i know she felt bad about me saying something she feels is too mean.
then, there's my younger brother, who i scold a little too much for being such a brat and i dont mean just fairly bratty but real real brat pain in the @$s bratty. because of that, my dad gets mad at me for being not a nice sister. whatever.
and here's my boyfriend who im having trust issues with but who i terribly misses much. havent had a decent talk with him for days and i feel like i cant stand the distance anymore and i dont know what to feel about it. oh, and another thing. for two consecutive days,i had arguments with two clients too and decided to have their payments refunded just because they are being too rude. or am i being too rude? i dont know, for heaven's sake what is happening.
i always tell myself and my sister (who is the only person i really get along with lately) people lack this, lack that, people are too immature, people are too irresponsible, some are too improper, people act childish and are not professional with how they deal with things.
then my sister tells me, "are you sure its them, not you?"
my mom, dad, and my boyfriend tell me i cant control my anger, and i say whatever i want to say without listening. i care less and can be too straightforward. and i can really be very demanding.
they may be right. or i may be right in my reasons why i can be such.
then sometimes i blame my star sign, my being a virgo for my traits. well although i dont attribute all of it to signs but at some point it might have an effect i dont know.hehe. but seriously, i want to know how to get started. might be because of stress- emotional and phsyical, or other factors but i know im not used to be like this and i dont want people hating on me. any comments, assessments, suggestions or whatever may help. sweet or blunt is fine with me.
3 people like this
7 responses
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 11
Wow, you really have such an issue here. But I understand, as sometimes I was just like you of getting angry to all people around me. I think it is because we have been worrying over something that we cannot tell others (here you are worrying about your bf) and other people who do not know our situation made it worse by their acts and talks and whatever else.
I usually will try to sort our my feeling by finding what is the most unreasonable of what people said or did that I objected. You will be surprised that often I did not find any. Mostly because I was either too tired or too high handed. Then I would try to make peace with the people around me, not so much as apologizing but more making easy conversations and trying to understand them better.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
17 Mar 11
sort out your feeling by finding the most unreasonable in what people say that you objected on and you're surprised to have not found any...
very much like me. my family knows me too well but it worries me that others are affected. i feel like i want to stay at home first to 'normalize' myself for awhile.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
17 Mar 11
Hmmm I think we all go through times like this, I am at the moment where people in my life are so disappointing but maybe it is us and our frame of mind, lets hope we come out of it soon. Plus also at a certain age women go through this when it comes time she feels deep inside to have her own nest so to speak...
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
17 Mar 11
No, friend don't think you have a bad a** because you don't get along with people. At your age, you may be reckless so relax and take it easy, girl! Just hang on you may change at some point of your life. Give hugs to you :)
@laken02 (3065)
• United States
17 Mar 11
i know alot of my problems were similar to yours and my problem was i was not listening enough, people would say something and i would just jump right in there and talk over them and be rude and this kept me and my sister from getting along she would always say if you would just listen.. so now that i have a daughter of my own now it is me who says to her if you would just listen and not jump to conclusions and me and her fight because she wont listen so i had to think about it myself and now i try to listen and not interupt people and i try to have a different view on life .. and put myself in the other person's shoes before talking
and saying something i dont mean just becasue im upset...good luck i hope things get better for you..
@cansasct (39)
• United States
17 Mar 11
Well, yes I've had days where I don't feel like myself, I sometimes feel bad about myself, too.
Instead of worrying about what everyone else is thinking of me, (worrying never did me any good, just action), what I do is say prayers, meditate on positive things, get a book (or make a simple reminder book) that will have only pictures, notes, letters from friends, which have positive reminders of your accomplishments and happy times. This has always worked for me in the past.
Also what I did was to compliment the first suggestion with my favorite music, music that made me feel, good, the tunes that I liked, This is like a natural prescription!
Just a few suggestions, based on my experience. I have more suggestions too, if these don't help.
@macayadann (1235)
• Philippines
17 Mar 11
Be calm and cool because if not you will get used to always getting and being angry. Have you tried closing the door of your room,turn off the light,close your eyes and pray. You see,there are only few whom you can trust,but with all of your details deep within you - it is only GOD that you can rely on. You see devils are now working to always hit people to be in hell,don't you think you are being invited the way you are acting,are they not signs that you are about to join them. When you feel down and depressed,change your haircut,shop,feel free to roam around,gift yourself. Remember to befriend first yourself.
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
17 Mar 11
Hiya NKR,
Don´t think that you are a bad person it´s just that you have that age when you might feel out of sorts with your Family.
I won´t go into my boring Stories which they are (grin) but although I never felt angry like that all the time I did have problems with my eldest Brother who did cause me a lot of anguish at that time and tried all his life to do the same.
It might not just be you. It could be a lot of things that crop up over a length of time and then you just both blow up and one is always more righter than the other. Neither side wants to back down.
With my Ex Eldest Brother I let him have it boy I betcha I did. Because you have never seen or heard such a big pain in your life.
I could have thought that I had a bad Character too but I stopped blaming myself for everything because he was worse than us Women he was forever nitpicking please excuse the expression behind my back.
Had I done something really wrong I might have understood it. He only wanted to cause mischief and meddle into my affairs. He even thought he was going to be able to stop me getting married too can you imagine.?
I would let the situations go over your Head as much as possible. Take care now.xxx
