Beating is useless for child
By smilywomen
@surekharathi (14146)
India
March 17, 2011 1:28am CST
I observe in most of the family they beat their child everytime in each case like say why do this and beat for that some time say why you cannot do this and beat. This is not good for a small child because now we are seeing the child is take wrong action immediately like I seen my town last year he got 80% in 10th class but his father's hope was 90% and the child think if I will go in my house with 80% result then papa will beat me will say many words so he gone near river and jumped in it.
Here when his mother is waiting for her child he is came and will see the result. When her child is not come after 4 hours then she is call to his friend and friend said he is gone from school 3 hours before then mother call her husband and both are worried about him.
He filed the report in Police station then after searching the police get this body in the river after two days because and you can point out in summer no one is see in the river so the body will remains there till two day.
This is the bad result of beaten or the child what you think this is not a good way to improve your child study or understanding you can talk politely with your child. Why parents born 3 to 4 child and then due to earning problem they beat every time to their child. Why they expect more for their child why they not understands thier child feeling. Why they fight before your child for him or her.
3 people like this
14 responses
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
1 Apr 11
I remember when I was a kid and I got plenty of beatings. Believe me that does not work at all, I became c=a very spiteful child and caused a ton of trouble, Beating a child in any way is horrible and does not work. Being stern with them, punishment like time outs, taking a toy away or dessert. When my son was small he was a terror. We used to punish him and give him time outs and after his punishment I would always go to him and tell him that I loved him very much and gave him a hug. I also explained to him in a way he could understand what he did wrong. I believe in communication with your children and always make them feel loved and as safe as possible. Be careful when punishing your child because instead of physical hurt you could mentally hurt them. Always keep communication open, do not lie to your children, they sense everything.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Apr 11
I like your response sir so I rated you response and really beating is not a good way to understanding to the child. Yes this is also true dont say lie with the children it affects more wrong on child life.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
20 Mar 11
I was a badly abused child and an exception because I decided not to allow my bad childhood to affect the mother that I am. I have never beat and or spanked my two children and am proud to say that I have two wonderful and respectful children.
I earned that because I was very consistent from the very beginning. When I said no, it did not mean maybe or later it was always no. So my children understood that I was in charge and they had rules to follow. Thank God it worked for me because I have never had any issues with them.
Parents such as you mentioned wrongfully beat their children because they do not understand the difference of stress and burdens and take it out on their children. It is not the childrens fault why they have the financial burdens and they should not be releasing their stress on the children. See it is then that the children become rebellious when the parents so this.
When they fight in front of the children it causes the children to also get vengeful in life and the same pattern continues on with their own kids as they get older.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
20 Mar 11
Yes friend this is true if the parents are fight infront of their child then give the bad effects of their child life also. I noticed some time if the parents are stressed due to any reason like financial or office issued when they came back at home then annoyed on her child and if the child do some mistake then beat him/her this is not fair.
Thanks to put your valuable thoughts
@MysticTomatoes (1053)
• United States
17 Mar 11
There is a huge difference between beating and spanking. I spank my DD. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Trying to reason with a small child to make them understand what they did wrong and why IMO won't work. They don't have the mental ability to be able to reason with me like another adult or an older child. My husband and I don't spank her for every little infraction, but we do spank her. If she gets into trouble at daycare for something severe, then she'll be spanked at home and likewise if she does something wrong at home.
1 person likes this
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
17 Mar 11
I agree with you Surekha, physical punishment will never do any good, it may spoil the child, just handle them with love, patient, explain what is wrong, what is right, it will certainly help
Thanks for sharing this nice discussion.
Cheers.
God bless you, have a nice day ahead.
Professor ‘Bhuwan’. .
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
17 Mar 11
If bitting our children wrongly it is called punishment. Remember some children not hearing any advice, deciplinary talk from parents, even you are saying using love and patient especially during maturity of the children. If our children know that if they are over or dis-obey such rule right bitting can be given they will be careful and good.. see you around
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
17 Mar 11
Even the children is not hearing advice this is not way to beating the parents can handle easily by loving and say many examples of others and some other ways also.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
17 Mar 11
Thanks sir you are right this punishment spoil the child and polite nature is most important for understanding the children feeling and parents should take care about what is wrong and what is right and handle with love I appreciate from your thoughts thanks to a lot
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
17 Mar 11
If you bit your children every time they are commiting mistakes the end result may be not good in the character and outcome of the children. But if you bit them in right motive and have an agreement with them (children) to big deal it becomes a good rule between you and your children. why I said? - because in our bible mentioned about use a rod to guide and teach your children. So in some cases we need to bit rightly our children for guiding and teaching them. see you around
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
17 Mar 11
Yes You are all right if parents bit everytime their children then character of children may be worse. Ya I agree with in some cases it is necessary to bit but this was exceptional thanks nice reply
@jhonnysherlin (179)
• India
17 Mar 11
I think its not a father situation or mother or child the situation based on the society. If we walk in that society i think society means we only what this society asks for us how ur children what he was doing and which standard he studying and in which school he studied at, these questions are asking when we went outside or when some one meet us. Slowly when exams came to the action what we said to our children u got scored more than 90% i have a good name in this society so get prepared for exams
u got more than 90% i will buy u a motorcycle or anything like that. But after the results he got only 89% so atlast or atleast the name has gone because his father or anything might be telling like this towards this society my son got 90% this time and write exams very well and he socred more than 90% but after the results he see the results his son got 89% only but what his father says at that time i am telling to every one in this society so i do now i lost everything even also my name u make me shame, they never tell like that how many marks his son got it will be happy for them.
1 person likes this
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
18 Mar 11
Yes 75% percent this type of incident occurs due to society and society member torches the parents ohhhh your child is not take more percentage my child is got like this silly discussion.
Not only for this but also in other event society is interfere in the family. You are right thanks to lot
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
17 Mar 11
Dear friend,
It is really pity and really beyond cruelty to beat a child that too if not capable to learn well. Learning I feel it is another talent that includes may other qualities like grasping things soon, power of remembering, understanding so on. It is seen that there is social view that children with high marks could only become successful. But I feel that education system itself is doing cruelty to those innocent children. They are injecting those subject which might be not fit for a child. Moreover each child has his own emotions and mental balance which is to understood first, then go forward with that child. Other I feel those children could become harmful to the society. Save child from child abuse is often heard But I do not know how far it is successful. I respect them at least they have come forward for saving those innocent children.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
17 Mar 11
Yes very good friend you are absolutely right in some time the student say yes my paper is gone very good but they got less marks and another student say ohhh my paper was not and I cant scoring well then they score well the education system is not good and parents blame on their child it is not good. Its effects on innocent child this also depend on their understanding, remembering etc.
Thanks put up your views
@barefoot48066 (58)
•
14 Feb 18
Abuse is bad, a good sound spanking that just leaves them with a sore behind and a deflated ego is not bad at all.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
17 Mar 11
HI,
Beating is not the right way to discipline our kids,but
we can't be overpampered to our own kids,or else,they
will become naughtier each day and uncontrollable when they get
older.
We as a parents have to be firm in disciplining our kids, be more
strict to them and spend more time with them. Sometimes, kids tend to
get parents' attention,that is why they are making things to
attract parents' attention,but to some parents ,they may not understand
what their kids trying to express out,instead they will start
beating their kids without trying to understand the main problem.
From my own experience, I do beat my son lightly when he gets naughty sometimes,
but I will always explain to him what is his mistakes and advise him
never repeat the same mistakes again in future, a few reminders may give
a better understanding to our kids.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
17 Mar 11
Yes I agree with you sometimes it is necessary to beating lightly but after understanding childs problems because in most of the time we cant heard the problem and annoyed on them and beat them.
Thanks to take care your child because really a child is our wealth. No life without child.
@okgoodmarket (83)
• China
17 Mar 11
WOW,so bad result.
as a parents it is very important to understand child's inner world.on the basis of which children can get better education from their parents.only beating or scolding cannot solve anything,but why many parents do so?
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
17 Mar 11
Hi sure,
What a sad story! I always had a soft heart for children even before I had my own. Now that I have two of them, I could not really get to beat them no matter how angry I am. I'm afraid, they may grow spoiled if not for my partner who give them a whack or two whenever they go out of line.
I always understand children, their boundless energy, their curiosity, fears, and ambitions. It really break my heart to see those things go for nothing just for a single moment of stupidity.
@tiffnkeat (1673)
• Singapore
17 Mar 11
Discipline comes in many forms. There is no need to always resort to beating. Beating is useless if the father's aim is to motivate. If he did not do as well as what the father expected (80% and not 90%), he could use praise instead. Praise the child for the effort and the child will love to study more.
And beating is inhumane if it is used every time. Does the father want to be beaten every time too? It is sad when the child is so stress that he take his own life because of how the parents treat him. Very sad.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
20 Mar 11
Quite sad indeed tiffnkeat and sadly the father perhaps to date does not even understand the errors of his ways and actions. 
@gopakumar85 (54)
• India
18 Mar 11
i think you got to hit the right balance when you are beating your child. I mean you should punish your child if the child has made a serious mistake knowingly, but then you need to draw a line how much severe the punishment should that be. although i would still say child should learn to grow living a hard life thats when they realize the importance of there life and they will start valuing there life as they grow up. In every walks of life that child will have that think in there mind that yeah for eg; "this is wrong and this is right" so they grow up they will be guarded about there decision making and will also be ready for what ever the consequences. so i believe beating is ok as long as it doesnt get out of hands it is justified as long as the child is made understood what was the mistake done by the child and child should be counseled so that they dont repeat those mistakes.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
18 Mar 11
Yes I agree with you if mistakes is serious then sometime the parents can beat the child to give the punishment but not everytime. The parents can understand why the child do the mistake and they can learn the lesson that next time he/she will not do but in politly beating not by angry
@saibal10 (89)
• India
17 Mar 11
I am hundred percent agree with you. Beating a child gives birth spoiling of character. Beating is an old concept. It actually yeilds nothing but deterorate the situation. On the other hand loving appeal or affectionate rulling manage more effectively to make the child convinced. And they will do better.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
17 Mar 11
Thanks to agree with me really if parents use polite words with their child it is better for their child and it is true spoil the character of small child
@AriannasMommy210 (30)
• United States
17 Mar 11
I agree, undoubtedly. Beating children teaches them nothing and creates anger and bitterness. There are times when a quick tap on the butt is in order, but that's the extent of my physical contact, EXCEPT a few months ago, when my 14 year old son decided that he was going to swear at me, he got my hand across his face, and he well deserved it. In our home, I demand respect, if I am not respected, they know where the door is and it swings both ways! I don't cater to my kids, I am the parent. Each of my kids has their own set of chores and responsibilites and if such are not completed PROPERLY, they don't have privileges. I don't believe in allowance either. Their payment is the electricity, water and internet that they use, the cell phones in their pockets, the game consoles in their rooms, the clean clothes on their backs and the roof over their head! I love them, and I believe in TOUGH LOVE.
