What if you found out that your boyfriend/girlfriend already has a child?

I have a baby and am alone so I would not hide my baby in the risk that I was jeopardizing a maybe relationship. I love my daughter and feel I would not hide her, I mean I would not introduce her until I knew for sure he was right but I would be honest upfront because the person who will be with me needs to know that I have baggage and same rule applies to me if the shoe was reversed. I would need to know also because a relationship is built on trust and if a baby is hidden what else can be hidden is my thinking.

I don't know but I think it will be hard for me to be in any kind of relationship with him if that happens. It's a form of betrayal. The most hurtful part is not really him having a child but him not telling me about it. Why is his purpose? Does he not trust me? Does he thinks I am open to it? There are a lot of questions that will come to my mind if that will happen. One of the worst situation that comes to my mind when thinking about it is that he thought that we will not be in a long term relationship so he did not think it was necessary for him to tell me.

I would end the relationship immediately. I personally have absolutely no interest in any children ever. I don't want to have kids and I don't want to be with anyone who has or wants them.

harold hi well I can see that would be a shock but if you and the girl or guy really love each other this can be surmounted providing you both love children. the child is there so you have only two choices, accept the child or break up and go your separate ways.I think if I really loved the man that much I could accept his child.

i would because i already have done so. i even knew of it from his friend because i had the gut feel that something is wrong and i have to know for myself. by the time i confronted him of it, he gave me the freedom if ever i would choose to leave him because of the lie. then i had to do a lot of crying and thinking for weeks. i let go of all the hurt and finally decided to stay. i will treat the kid as my own, no buts no ifs.

No way, it's a lie and it's a huge one. I might be ok if I found out they had a child, but not if they had come up with this whole sister scenario. Although I suppose if I had been in the relationship for a long time, I might find it hard to walk away, but if you stayed in the relationship, you would always be wondering what other things your partner has been dishonest about.

This very same situation has happened to my cousin. He fell in love with a Filipino lady who he met online. She even came to India and stayed with his for a month. They were so much in love ...that they would Skype everyday and send mails and call each other every day. She had mentioned to him that she was married earlier for a brief period of time. But she didn't mention that the child he saw in her home was her son. She said he was a relative who was poor and living with her. Since she is a Filipino and also because she is 3 years older than he is, my cousin had a hard time convincing the rest of the family that they were truly in love. By the time his parents had agreed to the wedding, his older brother managed to find out that the child was her son and not her relative. My cousin was devastated and they broke up. But then they are back together now...and we also get to know that she isn't legally divorced though she says she has no contact with her 'husband' for the past 9 years! I don't know how they plan to take this further. But in this case, I still think there's a certain amount of cheating because she got lots of chances to tell my cousin about her child and she hid it from him. He should have known earlier and not by his brother finding out. Knowing my cousin, I know for sure that he wouldn't have deserted her if she had told him earlier...and he would even have covered up for her. I know she probably didn't know that would be his step....but how did she plan to hide this fact if they had got married. That was a wrong choice....and if I were in my cousin's shoes, I would have got out of the relationship not because the boyfriend/girlfriend has a child from a previous relationship...but because he/she kept the fact from me.

I worked with a woman who had a child at a very young age and it was raised as her sister. Things happen.

I think you better discuss it with your boyfriend/girlfriend why is it so and so. Surely, she/he hides from the truth because of love that's why it's very important to talk about it. It's not easy if we found it because there would be some questions that may possibly running in the head. But, if there's a true love between them, love will surely win...

to love is to accept no matter what, though it would hurt knowing the truth then. lying on the matter probably has good valid reason and it's up to you if it is really worth holding on to the relationship, but it would be more better realizing the truth directly from her rather than knowing it from others.

If that happens to me, I think I will weigh my feelings for my boyfriend if I love him enough to accept his child of his previous relationship. This is not the first time, in fact, it can happen everywhere. I guess, there would never be a problem as long as I love him, I can understand the situation and accept all that he loves even the wicked mother in law! LOL!

If I really liked the person, I would not care. It's not good that they hid that fact, sure, but maybe they had a good reason to? It depends on the circumstances and my feelings for that person, really.

Me, I will accept her but it still depends on the situation, If I really love her, I will continue our relationship and also it depends to her explanation, maybe she had a good explanation to me. But, if our relationship is "on the rock" it's the time to say "the end". From the beginning you trusted her and suddenly, wow she has a kid, what a surprise. It hurts, the pain is there but our life must go on. Smoothly, maybe? Because the damage was done, the wound still there. Both of you should adjust after that son/daughter arrival.

i don't know if i knew the story before we have a relationship then i guess i accept their baby that's why i still accept him... but if he keep it as secret maybe i'll be mad and angry, but still it depends upon the situation and depending on my feelings for him

It really wouldnt be about the fact that he already has a child. It would be about the fact that he LIED. When going into a relation ship honesty is the best policy. Once the trust is broke it can be very hard to regain. Think about how the child would feel about being denied too.

I'd want to know more about the situation, such as who has custody of the child and why she/he lied about the parenty of him/her. The existence of the child wouldn't bother me as much as the lie.

What?!?! So... your girl friend, coached her daughter, to lie that she was her sister, to deceive you into thinking she was a virgin? Or that she didn't have any kids? Oh... yeah. That would be a relationship end-er for sure. She tried to deceive me? No relationship is built on lies. And if she lies when I'm just her boyfriend, she'll lie when I'm her husband. No no no no.... Not doing that. I'll find a more honest person.

I think when someone have a child the first thing they should do is to tell the next potential partner. I don't know if I can forgive, I wouldn't but only if he had a real good reason, but it would be lying so i can't think in any good reason to keep this from me. If he tell me in two weeks tops fine, otherwise I think the person could be a liar and would be hard to trust in the future.

well i would be angry with him for lying to me and not trust me by telling me the truth. i dont think i would break up with them as there are many people that have children. i wouldnt lie about my kids and would make sure they knew straight away. to me there is nothing wrong in a single man or woman with kids and i dont see why it would put people off.

Still i will accept her due to love and care on her and love and care she had on me...