What age is appropriate for school-aged girls to have boyfriends?

When my daughters were in grades 5 and 6, there wasn't so much emphasis on boyfriends and girlfriends. Then I watched my niece go through those grades several years later and there was a huge difference. The girls in her peer group were spending more time texting, being online, chatting and flirting with boys on MSN or Facebook, and it seemed critically important to them to make sure their online status was about a boyfriend. My sister was shocked by what some of her daughter's classmates were saying... one girl had a crass "Josh I f****** love you" as her status. Her mom was one of my sister's close friends and she was totally oblivious about what the girl was doing online. In a lot of cases, I believe the younger ones are also influenced by older siblings who are in relationships or what they see in the media and much of what they do mimics that, rather than being real emotions. Kids are in a hurry to grow up, that seems apparent. I think that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in grade school are more about "fitting in" and not being ostracized... but I do think that committed dating should wait until high school. As others have said, it hedges a lot of maturity level - kids are ready at widely varying times. My older daughter started dating around 9th grade, more regularly in 10th grade and my younger daughter is about to graduate grade 11 and doesn't have a boyfriend at all. I think you're doing a great thing by communicating with your daughter about this stuff... she'll probably ebb and flow through times she'll want to talk to you and times that she won't... but the good thing is always knowing she can :)

i agree that maturity plays a major role but i think that 5th grade is too young. in fact, i think that until highschool, girls shouldnt focus on boys. i guess i think school is more important. we have two teen daughters, one is 17 (and she was interested in boys from grade 6 on) and we discouraged her from having a serious boyfriend - even now. highschool is the time for having fun. our 14 year old daughter has no interest in boys at all (yet!) she is already focusing on her career!!

Hello texas and welcome to myLot. As far as your daughter having a boyfriend it all depends on the description of a boyfriend. I had boy friends in first and second grade but they were really just playmates. These terms have changed so much over the years. I helped raise two of my grandchildren. When my granddaughter was 12 she would talk about dating. She had to wait to date ( my understanding of dating was going out to a meal or a movie)until she was 16 at least. But to her and her friends meant meeting at the playground and hanging around with friends. Letting my kids and grandkid know very early that dating was not until after turning 16 they didn't really start dating until after they got out of high school. They could meet a boy at a school function such as a school dance when they turned 14. Even then they hung out with the girls more than the boys. I would say set the rules and then listen to her any time she wants to talk. Find out what having a boyfriend means to her and take it from there.

You shouldn't not to worry about your daughters having a boyfriend at the early stage. As now, the new generation are more aggressive. As mom you should always remind your daughter but don't act that she's doing something wrong cause she didn't do anything wrong. As long as your daughter is sharing you about her, you don't need to worry. I have 2 niece and 1 nephew. The oldest one is only 13 yrs old, the second one is only 11 yrs. old and the youngest one is only 9 yrs old. My two niece has a girlfriends and we didn't force him to leave the girl. We just told them that they need to study first and don't do anything that will make your life worst. The girls are opened to us. And they shared to us all about what they want to say and what they feel. While my youngest nephew is only nine yrs. old but she has already have a crush. When she was asking if she can have a boyfriend we tell that it up to her but if she really wants make sure that she will bring the boy on our house and school first before anything. She just say yes. And she is also telling us what is all about her. So where not worry about them.

Good day, For me it depends how the person can handle because there are people who can balance their studies and their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend. But if the person has a big dream in his life to finish her/his studies they must concentrate first in their studies because true love can wait.

Lucky you that you have a good communication with your daughter. That is definitely our advantage because our children trusts us so with have to also trust them. Maybe, you can discuss it to her, your side regarding this, and explain to her that it's not yet the right time to have a boyfriend,if she can,finish her studies first.But if not, ask her to be open about this so you'll know the guy..

I have expressed to my daughter who is also in 5th grade that I would rather she not have a boyfriend until she is in high school. Boyfriends/girlfriends are distractions that children do not need. It is not like they are going to have a serious relationship at this age anyway so what is the point of letting them pretend? In my eyes, this only opens them to heartbreak as eventually the relationship will end. At this age, relationships end quickly and very ugly as well. Another thing to think about is the fact that children are being influenced not only by their friends but also what they hear on the radio and see on tv. I dont want my children to experiment because they want to fit in or because they think it is acceptable. STD's and pregnancy has no age restrictions. I want to keep my daughters away from those things as long as I can. When she is older I am sure the discussion will come up again. I will re-consider it then. But right now, her goal is go get an education not a reputation.

i dont think for having a good friend there can be any age limit but..for having a boyfriend in the other sense the girl must be matured and have good understanding of the surroundings and the people's mind set to judge whether they are good or bad.