Mum Always Thinks Of Others Before Herself
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
March 21, 2011 7:04pm CST
Mum has done this for as long as I can remember. She would "go without" as she put it so that me and my brother didn't look scruffy at school or go without food on the table. Mum had a tough upbringing and vowed that she would not treat her kids the same way..and she hasn't.
She once said to me, "Did you ever feel poor?" and I told her not to be so silly, of course I didn't "feel" poor. She was relieved. Whenever she bought clothes or shoes (not for herself) she got them from catalogues, which, in actual fact were a godsend as a relative of ours was a Rep. He would come and collect the money, so much a week so it made Mum feel a bit better giving money to someone she knew. I've never met anyone who can juggle money like her without possessing a credit card (and I don't have one now either). All this stems from the fact my Dad's boss lied way back in 1969 about how much he was giving him a week, so it enabled him to move into the house he still shares with my Mum. From that moment on it was a struggle for Dad to pay the mortgage but, to his credit, he managed it. They've only had central heating for about 7 years as it's Mum who saves up for these things! She knew in 1969 that Dad would never want to move again and I'm glad they have stayed put, despite problems along the way. At least the house is paid for. I always like to visit and sit in their back garden when the weather is better. The extension was built in 1979 and I'm so glad they didn't go down the "conservatory" route as it would be way to hot to sit in. Due to the duel fuel they have with British Gas they've finally got round to some free loft insulation too which will come in handy NEXT winter!!
It's a testament to Mum's character that she bought some shoes for ME instead of herself. We'd commented over the phone about the Hotter catalogue that I'd ordered on her behalf from their website. I actually told her to buy herself a pair for summer. "I'll give it some serious thought" she replied and ended up buying me a pair instead.
I've never met anyone as unselfish as my Mum. I wish I was more like her.
3 people like this
14 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
22 Mar 11
I have to agree with you because it is like a knack that some can instantly develop. 
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
If you look closely at the pic of her you will see a halo around her head. She's looking dangerous with that knife as well isn't she but she knows what she's doing..honest!
Thanks for your kind words, they mean a lot.
@melvelasco (356)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
I like the statement you've said "I've never met anyone as unselfish as my mum, I wish I was more like her." because that was absolutely I feel to my mom. I remember when I was a kid she always made me a new dress everytime their is occasion and also the rest of my brother. sHe make it appoint that the dress she made would be a special and make me feel beautiful. sHe always tell to me that she loves me very much. She was so loving person, and kind, and the big factor for that though we don't have more money for expensive dresses she was a great dress maker ever, that why when i ask for a new dress she can make it, she will check out magazine for a catalogue and choose the best for me. Until now that I had already kids she still helping to choose the best for my kids, and because I was inspired through her I study to make dresses so I may choose best for my kids. like what my mom did.... happy gud day janey
@melvelasco (356)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
yes, their are triplet baby they are already 5 years of age.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Mar 11
Awww that's so sweet!
I think it's lovely that you are carrying on your Mum's tradition of making clothes. In fact, my Mum used to be extremely good at knitting but, even if she was still good at it now, it's not that cheap to do. At least when she knitted many years ago it was a worthwhile hobby that saved her money but balls of wool are very expensive and it's probably cheaper buying a jumper or whatever from a shop nowadays!
Are those your children in your avatar photograph?
Adorable!
I think it's lovely that you are carrying on your Mum's tradition of making clothes. In fact, my Mum used to be extremely good at knitting but, even if she was still good at it now, it's not that cheap to do. At least when she knitted many years ago it was a worthwhile hobby that saved her money but balls of wool are very expensive and it's probably cheaper buying a jumper or whatever from a shop nowadays!
Are those your children in your avatar photograph?
Adorable!
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
22 Mar 11
This really brings tears to my eyes for several reasons…
Firstly coz I’m a mother and it makes me so proud to be a tiny part of this wonderful global community of mothers which nurtures life
Secondly, it brings back memories childhood memories and suddenly I miss mom (though in general I’ve never been very close to her)
Thirdly, this makes me want to look up to more such examples of selfless mothers and evaluate myself accordingly and I suddenly realize that no matter what I think, there are so many ways I fail regularly to really love and care for my child.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
I doubt very much you fail to give love and care for your child. The love shines out of your post. You are a sensitive person and you feel things deeply, I can tell.
I don't know what your personal circumstances are but if life is tough be strong. I have no children of my own so I find it difficult to relate to mothers my age or younger. I can only mention my own mother and sing her praises instead. I'd like to think I would be a good mother like she continues to be and one you strive to be.
@noorhizat (209)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 11
What a heartwarming story.
A mom was gifted by God the sacred task of delivering her child to this earth. The bonds of motherhood will always be there until she die. A mother will sacrifice her life to save her child. What kind of mother will you be? We cannot compare what our mother had done to us for us with what we'll be doing to and for our child.
Basic instinct will guide a mother to do the best for her child. Do not worry, your time will come when your child will tell your story as you have told your mum's story.
I wish you all the best.
@noorhizat (209)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 11
Your are welcome.
A mother is a person who deliver a child. A mother is also a women. The natural born instinct of a mother is still in you even if you don't have a child of your own. Keep on doing what womanly things you do, and I know one day someone will tell of the story of Janey.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
I'm afraid it's too late for me to have children. I suppose I could try if I wanted to..but I don't so I won't lol.
Having said that, I love that little piece you wrote there. Very touching..and thanks very much.
@madp_071983 (228)
• Oman
22 Mar 11
Try to understand your mom. She's never growing young after all. Let her enjoy what she wants to do while she can. I find your mom self-sacrificing and generous. She simply epitomizes the Rotarian's adage, "SERVICE ABOVE SELF." And also remember, MOTHERS KNOW BEST! =)
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
I hate to admit it but mothers DO know best, it's the mother-in-laws that DON'T lol.
@madp_071983 (228)
• Oman
22 Mar 11
Sorry but I beg to disagree but I firmly do believe that MOTHERS KNOW BEST even MOTHERS-IN-LAW because of the mere fact that they, too, are MOTHERS! I could attest to this as it is evident in my mother-in-law! Thank God I have her! =)
@Sydalg242811 (380)
• Baguio, Philippines
22 Mar 11
halu Janey,
MUM,is the precious gift that GOD given to us.She can't feel tiredness,she's always there for us.she calls us everyday,even though she's far away we feel that she's always at our side.her love never been change and fade away.she give all her best and all she can do,for us..our MUM,who loves us no matter what we say or do.even though how many times we failed to obey.she's always kind and happy but full of pain and worry.her love is EVERLASTING and NEVER LAST
we love and respect our MUM.
Bless all loving MOTHER
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
Hello and welcome to MyLot. What a lovely response and so true. A friend of mine lost her Mum a few years ago and I could read the pain in her letter to me. She said that she misses her loads and many people who have lost their mothers too early feel that way. I am truly blessed that Mum is still around (hopefully for many more years) as she is definitely my best friend. I try not to think of life without her but I promise you I live for today, it's the only way isn't it?
@Sydalg242811 (380)
• Baguio, Philippines
24 Mar 11
halu Janey,
yes,it's true my dear,even it's too hard to do it.
thanks so much .
GOD BLESS
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
22 Mar 11
What a great example she has been for you and anyone else who might pay attention. She is in good place by not being in debt.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
She is a great example, you're right. Her money-managing skills are legendary, I don't know how she does it as her wages aren't huge. She's just very good at managing what she has and making it go a very long way! In actual fact the money I made on ebay has helped me enormously. Yes, I've bought a few things but that did include a rather ace shower curtain that has replaced something downright shoddy - the same goes for the accessories..I saved money on those. So I reckon Mum has an influence on me after all in regards my finances. I'm not in debt, I don't possess a credit card. In fact, now that John has paid his off he keeps receiving letters off his bank telling him that his balance has increased if he wishes to order another one. Do they want him to get into serious debt or what? At one time he wouldn't even mention this to me but he chooses to now, which is a development as he used to be a bit secretive concerning finances.
Her money-managing skills are legendary, I don't know how she does it as her wages aren't huge. She's just very good at managing what she has and making it go a very long way! In actual fact the money I made on ebay has helped me enormously. Yes, I've bought a few things but that did include a rather ace shower curtain that has replaced something downright shoddy - the same goes for the accessories..I saved money on those. So I reckon Mum has an influence on me after all in regards my finances. I'm not in debt, I don't possess a credit card. In fact, now that John has paid his off he keeps receiving letters off his bank telling him that his balance has increased if he wishes to order another one. Do they want him to get into serious debt or what? At one time he wouldn't even mention this to me but he chooses to now, which is a development as he used to be a bit secretive concerning finances.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
22 Mar 11
Your Mum sounds great Janey. In my experience most are. No matter what we do or how old we are they are there watching over us. I have to be careful as if I say that I have bought a new pair of trousers or a shirt she will send me a cheque!! Not that I am complaining! LOL.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
Haha! I know what you mean. When Mum found out how much I'd spent on Dad's birthday she asked if I could afford it to which I replied, "Well, I wouldn't buy him anything if I couldn't afford it," to stop her from worrying.
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
That's so sweet of you, making a post for your mum. I know you already know this, but you are very blessed to have her as your mum. While reading this, it made me appreciate my mum better. Though she is very much appreciated, there are times when I'm a bit annoyed of her, I forget how much she loves me, how much she has sacrificed for me, my siblings, our family.
Mums are real blessings from God. Cheers to all the mums out there!
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
Awww thanks very much! I'm so glad my post has made you appreciate your Mum even more than you do already. She has a lovely daughter and is - I'm sure, very proud of you. Don't worry about "being annoyed with her" as you put it. You're still very young and I was the same at your age! I've always appreciated Mum though and I'm quite sure you do too.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
22 Mar 11
It is something most moms instantly do. I think that the day a mom like yours became a mom it is then she immediately shuts down the I need and turns on the how can I help.
I know, because I tend to feel that I am the same way, lol.. Bless her sweet heart!
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
If I read out any of these responses to her tonight I'll have her in tears..but in a nice way of course. It's a shame she doesn't use a computer as she's aware of MyLot (when she comes here to visit) and finds it amazing, like I do.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
Oh, she makes sure she's Ok with clothes, etc. Her money is her own to pay certain bills with but she always has money left over that she saves to buy things for herself when the need arises..so I'm confident she's not going without. She did all that when we were growing up.
My Dad's the one who is a bit tight and doesn't like spending but at least he's replaced his ancient telly at last.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16762)
• China
22 Mar 11
I am deeply touched by your story.The maternal love is unselfish. Your Mum epitomizes the good qualities of the women.She was industrious and thrifty in managing household and never thought of herself.In a family mother plays the most awkward role more often than not .For suffering she has no choice but to be without saying a word.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
I can guarantee that if anyone here ever met my Mum they'd love her to bits. She's never nasty to anybody, is kind, considerate, generous, loves the cats..but she cannot understand why her neighbours "blank" her when she says "hello" to them.
I guess they don't appreciate her like "family" does. All she's doing is being friendly, she doesn't necessarily want their life story.
I guess they don't appreciate her like "family" does. All she's doing is being friendly, she doesn't necessarily want their life story.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
you were s lucky that you have your mum like her, and i'm so lucky too to have my mom for me, she also thinks of us first before herself and now that she's old i would like her to just stay at home and never work anymore, me and my brother both have a good job and enough to buy my parents need, i just want to see them relax and no problem, cause they've been into so much problems when we were still studying way back then :) be good to your mom although parents won't ask you to give in return but they will know how good they'll raise you if you take care of them especially when they are old now a days :)
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Mar 11
Aww, it's lovely that you are thinking about your Mum and helping her to relax. She's obviously brought you up to be compassionate but I guess it's in your nature anyway, right?
