What is The Least Offensive Way to Bring Up This Problem?

Hi dismalgrin, Wow, what a situation you are in. Well, to be honest though she is being like this and you feel shut out this is nothing compared to what i had. I was with someone, her parents never liked me at all, they forbid her to see me, she got pregnant and when she told her parents they suggested she terminate (too late for that) or have the baby adopted. This is as they did not want to know the baby or want me in their daughters life. When our son was born, i am rasing him on my own, me and my ex split becuase of all the hassle, her parents told me to my face that they never want to see me or my son near them, also they warned their daughter never to see any of us, the day she gave birth she was told to get home out of the hospital so that she wasn't near me or our son. Luckily eventually she got her own place and now does se my son, but her parents want nothing to do with him, parents are never always right. Anyway, if your boyfriends mum carries on then this could cause problems in your relationship. You need to sit your boyfriend down, tell him your going to speak and he will listen, then he can speak and you can discuss things together. Go where she cannot find you and turn all phones off, if he loves you he will do this. Explain that it is you and him in a relationship, not the 3 of you, tell hm you are never or hardly alone, never get quality time, explain that he needs to grow up and be a man rather than a little boy. His mother seems to be treating him that way. Explain that if his future is with you then you are also his family, you should get time alone, he shouldn't run to his mum when she comes calling, you are to sit beside him in the car. You need to live your lives together rather than the 3 of you. Explain that this is getting you down and if things don't change then the relationship will break down. If she can't afford where she is then she will have to get a smaller place or try to save money, that is not your problem or your boyfriends, she is an adult and so should act like one. If the 2 of you are serious about getting a place then if he is to do it you will need to set ground rules, or his mum will be around all the time, i promise you. He needs to tell his mum some home truths, he needs to say that the 2 of you are going to look for a place together and when you get that place she can come round once a week, or the 2 of you will go round to hers, you 2 have to live your own lives or this could break you up, there is only so much you can take before you explode and say enough is enough. Hopefully he will listen and understand, the more things you tell him about what she does and that it isn't right the more he sould understand and do something, you 2 need your space and time together without his mum causing you so many problems, good luck and i hope he does see sense.

I don't know what to say. His mother is a little bit sick. Maybe she can not stand with the truth that you and your booyfriend will be together and then he will be alone. how about trying to sincerely talk with her that even if you and your BF get married, you two will visit her all the time so that she will not feel lonely?

I can understand the situation you are in…I sincerely believe the call will have to come from your bf…after all, its his mother and his life so he cant really have a clear conscience on this while somebody else does the dirty talking for him. Whether you both have a permanent relation or not only time will tell, but like this, he’s not going to have any normal relation with any normal girl for the entire time that his mother is alive. Also, his mother is not unique…there are plenty of women like that who are forever crying for attention and blaming the world for neglecting them (that’s what they think and survive on)…no amount of attention will ever please them so no point in trying beyond a certain level. You could of course put certain restrictions like how many time you would allow his mom to accompany you both or if he can allow his mother to interfere in everything ‘personal’ to you both BUT if he does agree, then he will have to confront his mom on this not YOU. Also, I do think you can tell you bf to decide as to how much he wants of both of you…it cannot be an equal relation between the mother and the gf…though I’m no goading you to break up, but I do believe you should put your foot down.

talk to your boyfriend and let him fix the differences between you and his mother, try to understand the old lady as long as you can and as long as you love your boyfriend, just tell your boyfriend that you love him so much but your having a hard time dealing with his mom.

You need to talk to him! I`ve said it on other discussions. It`s all about communication. This woman seems like she`s causing problems to your relationships which isnt good. Talk to him. Just tell him what`s bothering you. I`m sure he would like to know. Dont call her names though lol.

This is normal because moms tend to act like thier son is still that cute little boy 20 years ago. Shes just insecure with losing her son. Its going to be hard but try to talk to the mom in a very subtle way make her feel that your not there to stel her son. There are ways to say something offensive and sound like its not. If you talk to her make her feel your not attacking her so she doesnt go all defensive on you. So that you can have a good conversation with her with no tensions.

This is indeed a very hard situation because it'll be like you asking your BF to choose between you and his Mom. I know that if your bf's situation is different then he would love to spend more quality time with you but you have to understand that he cannot abandon his mother. Maybe the two of you can sneak out and go somewhere without his mom knowing so you can have some alone time. Just let him know that you want to have some more time with him and it would be better if it'll just be the two of you.

Your boyfriend seems to be very close to his mom and he is being controlled by her. At this point in time it would be very difficult to say anything against her to your boyfriend because everything you will say no matter how good your intentions will always appear offensive to him. I think the boyfriend should realize it himself if he truly cares for you. If only you sees it as a problem and he doesn't consider it as one, then there's no point in opening any topic about his mom to him. I feel sorry that this is happening to you, but if it happens to me,i wouldn't be able to last in that kind of relationship because I would never ask my boyfriend to chose between his motherland me, but I don't want to suffer either. I really can't live knowing that my boyfriend's mom will always have a say in our relationship.

First of all you and your boyfriend needs to sit down and talk..Star the conversion with both of you feel at ease talking with each,Let him understand the issue and give him know the things you want to happen..talk it straight and with proper decorum you know what i mean..give him the reason one by one..don't just give him facts explain to him why it is very important to you because if these things would become worse it might end up your relationship because you can't take it anymore..Just be honest to him..truth hurts but the truth will set you free..