What can i do to make it work............
By blitzkiba
@blitzkiba (641)
Philippines
March 22, 2011 1:38pm CST
I am a Roman Catholic and i have a girlfriend who's religion is Victory(Christian)... We are always debating each time we have a talk about religion. What can i do to avod this??? whats the best thing to do in this kinds of situations cause i really want to make it work???
5 responses
@blitzkiba (641)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
And what if example we happen to stumble upon a religious talk about marriage? how should i handle this?
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
23 Mar 11
Marrige is a joining of a man & a woman under god. While your particular views of him may differ slightly it's still pretty much the same god. Most services are very similar. There shouldn't even be a problem. If one does arise just avoid the whole church wedding thing all together & find a justice of the peace. Heck the money savings from that alone & not going into debt just starting out the marrige will save you a lot of trouble & headaches down the road.
@blitzkiba (641)
• Philippines
24 Mar 11
Well she doesn't want the priest thing and she wants it to be with her pastors :(. Its not like i don't like the idea but my mom is a devoted catholic and she would hate me all my life if i don't do it with a priest. Well anyway its to early to think of marriage cause i'm still young and i need to earn. I just want to have an idea on what to do in case we get to that point.
@Alnitak (423)
• Italy
23 Mar 11
I think you should try to see this fact as a growing opportunity. The problem here could be the way you approach the debate, not the fact that you are following 2 different religions.
I don't know the differences between the two, but when 2 persons are discussing about those kinds of things there could be 2 different kinds of approach:
- my religion is the only right one and I have to convert my girlfriend convincing her she's wrong
- each religion is a human interpretation of what we call God's word, so we both are right and wrong at the same time and speaking about the matter is like trying to go closer to "the truth" (whatever "the truth" means).
I think the second approach is better but if yours is the first one maybe you could really consider to avoid those kind of discussions :D
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
23 Mar 11
the second approach is definately the better of the two. and if she leans more towards the first one, I would sit down and talk to her aobut it. Let her know how it hurts you that you can't seem to find a middle ground...
@blitzkiba (641)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
The second approach is to how i see it. The problem is she believes in the first one it think...not so sure but its to how i see it. tyty
@blitzkiba (641)
• Philippines
24 Mar 11
Yeah it definitely hurts cause i'm just trying to make it work. My mom is like a devotee(in our religion) and i just want to please her(my mom), so she wont hate me for the rest of my life. I hope you get my point and is it wrong that i'm just trying to please my mom instead of my girl?
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
23 Mar 11
Truth be told you can't really avoid it..You are a couple, you have different beliefs and those differences will come up, be very apparent etc. HOWEVER, if you truly love, care and respect each other then you can have your differences and discuss them openly and honestly..I'm sure the two of you have OTHER differences..how do you handle those? Handling your different religions shouldnt be any different.
@blitzkiba (641)
• Philippines
24 Mar 11
Nice i think i'll just talk to her and tell her the truth that its really bothering me. Thanks for the advice.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
25 Mar 11
When you really come down to the root of it, you are both Christian so I really don't understand how religion gets in the way with your relationship. When I was dating my husband he was Baptist (but not really happy with the religion) and I was a cradle Catholic. He decided to learn more about my faith by attending RCIA at my church. He later made the decision to become a Catholic as well because he liked the feeling of community that he got through our church. Now, both of our children are being raised Catholic as well (but I'm giving them space to make the ultimate decision for themselves when they are old enough).
@blitzkiba (641)
• Philippines
25 Mar 11
Nice i hope the best for you and your family. I hope we can work this out too. n_n
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
22 Mar 11
First, you both need to respect each others religious beliefs and not argue on which one is right or wrong, since both of you have the right to practice whatever religion you choose. You can also both agree not to have religious discussions with each other, since you don't want to spoil a good friendship by constantly debating on them. Religious beliefs are very personal ones and can't be changed in a debate or argument.Just agree to disagree.
@blitzkiba (641)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
Ahhh i see same with uath13 suggestion maybe thats my only out after all. Thanks for the comment.