A Parenting Test? (A semi rant)

I'd have to ask...who is preparing the questions and how are they the "expert" that decides not only the question, but the answer and what is the "right" way to raise a child? I see lot of things going on these days that is apparently "right" for kids, but I'd never let my kids do that or do that to them! I mean, if the question is "how many hours of tv per day is okay for a child?" and the answer was 5...I'd have to question that person...good grief..don't they want to spend any time with their child? 6-7 hours a day in school, homework and kids might have 2-3 hours a day left for "other' stuff...and it is totally fine to let them sit in front of the tv for all of them...or more? I wouldnt say that is a very good parenting skill. It is deplorable these days what parents allow their kids to wear in way of clothing. But you have to go along iwth the "styles" and "the way it is today" not 10 years ago. I don't think a "parenting test" would do any good. I think a better test would be financially. If you don't have enough money to pay the bills nad keep food on the table...you'd better not have any kids!

How about parents education classes? Just like there's drivers ed, there ought to be parents ed There are Lamaze classes on how to give birth comfortably, maybe there should be classes on dealing with babies, children, teenagers, etc. that parents should have to take every few years, or at every stage of development. Something like "conflict resolution with small children, teenagers etc." or "anger management, how to control your emotions during tense situations" stuff like that. I am not the least bit interested in having children, but in Grade 11 I took a parenting class just because I thought it was interesting. I got the highest mark in that class, and it was extremely interesting!

No test can prepare you for being a parent, though they might devise one that would give you indications as to whether somebody would be a good or a bad one. There are some people who should never be parents, but how do you test for that really? And yeah, help should definitely be available...

I think the test that is needed is "can you afford to have a child?" If not, then people should be discouraged from having kids and should not expect taxpayers to pay for it.

i think a parenting test should only be given to parents whose children recommend them to take the test, lol! if children have emotional, social or even physical problems, they are the ones affected and they should be given the right to recommend to go through a parenting test so as if those parents fail [probably psychologically) that they have to go through some sort of therapy or treatment..

There will probably never be a parent test to allow you to raise children, but maybe we should all remind each other that we were children once too. And we all should try to remember that time. Many adults forget that they were once children too. I also think that many adults were not taught to be who they really are. They are overloaded with lots of rules and regulations and morals and family issues and other things they don't really need. But nobody taught them the most important thing: how to love themselves.- A human being is only then able to listen to the essence of who he really is and act responsibly towards other human beings.

I think you are right. Sometimes a test doesn't mean anything. Here when a woman is pregnant, then her husband and she will be arranged to have the education about the pregnancy, baby health etc. Besides, the hospital will also "trains" us about it. I listened to this class carefully. But finally when my baby was born, I found that I was so awkard to handle my baby. Since my husband helped mom to look after his young sisters in his childhood. So actually my husband was very helpful at that time. He bathed our baby, whereas I just took videos and photos around. He helped our baby to change the diapers. When our baby was crying at night, he often went out with our baby and our baby would be pleased. He almost stayed around our building at night with our baby at that time. And when baby was asleep, then he took him home carefully. The time was hard but I was luckly that my husband was so helpful. I love China

I agree with this and actually they do offer that kind of help for parents. Years ago, there was a young mother who kept leaving her baby in the apartment above mine to come and chat with me....no baby monitor. After telling her several times that it is not a good idea to leave her baby alone like that, I called social services. I felt bad because she was a good person who really did love her baby. They did not take her baby but they did have her attend some seminars on the dangers of leaving your baby alone. I knew a woman who worked in this field and she said the goal was always to first help the parents so that the family can stay intact. She said sometimes it was hopeless and the children got taken but in many cases, it was just inexperience.

I think that there are so many different parenting styles that it would be impossible to even create a test like that. I mean..I guess my question would have to be..who. Who is it that is qualified to create a test accurate enough to determine a parents right or capabilities? Like some of the books on parenting...some of these authors have never even raised children and they are telling parents far and wide how they should raise theirs...lol....get a dose first is all I can say. Parenting is not easy but there are so many variables...children being number one...personalities call for different methods. I would be taking the test for a week if it were based on per child. My three children are very very different from one another. I have to really mix it up to "get through."

I'm sure that if all parents were to take a test to know if they deserve children, most if not all of them would fail. The great thing is, most parents do learn as their children grow up. And if we take out all the outside influences, or other people's opinion on how you raise your children, the kids don't seem to complain even if as a parent you just keep on stumbling along.

Can there be a common parenting test? No,of course not. What is the best way to educate their children? Every one has his/her own idea. Some of them may be alike. Some my be different, even reverse. every parent are giving their children their "best" conditions.

It is possible, though the test would vary from country to country, culture to culture. There are people wherein you'd really wonder why they have kids, or why they decided to have kids, they just don't take care of the kids properly.

Ugh, who would be the judge of the test? Are the judge proven to be good parents in life or just learned it from a university and have a certificate to show around but in real life their kids are troubled? If the judge are the children or the Kid, then I would say okay, I am not a good parent. Please help me fix it.

It is well known that parenting does not come with manuals. How one would rate a good parent would not be deemed right by another. I don't feel anyone should be tested, because the best parenting in the world is the parent who tried and never gives up. Parenting is not something one can do with 100% error free. So no test should be take and definitely help should be sought of need and made available to anyone who would need the help and no they should not be deemed by parents for asking for help, on the contrary they should be noted as good parents because they are trying. It is the ones that turn the blind eye and do nothing, parenting is a life ling commitment and unconditional love.

It's not only one parent's right can be another's wrong...sometimes each child also needs to be treated differently. What works for one doesn't work for another. A test for to-be parents would be the hardest thing to figure out...I mean coming up with the test questions would be really hard. I agree with you...I know of quite a few parents who come across as 'bad parents' just because they are unaware of what works for them....their intentions are never bad...they need some help..that's all. Come across many parents like that when I was working as a kindergarten teacher.

i understand the concept, but i doubt if it would work. do i think everyone should be allowed to have children? Hell NO!!! there are some sick sick people in the world and helplless children are just what they are looking for to do unspeakable things too. silent victims...

Well I hate it when if you want to adopt, you have to take a test - no not a written test, but when we were first trying to adopt, because I had given a baby up for adoption, I had to prove that I was capable of raising children by working at a day care center for mentally challenged children. Of course, three were really no babies available so it was a waste of time. Then when we moved adopted our sons, and wanted another baby, because our dog got lost and I was concerned, they rejected me again. So when you are trying to adopt, they give you a harder time then getting babies naturally. I have seen some of the so called parents who say they love their children and then the interviewer gets mad because those parents let their children get away with murder, are neglectful, etc. Having a baby naturally does not making you a good parent, not being able to have a baby naturally does not make you a bad parent either. I bet if people went through what my husband and I went through when adoption, they would know what a test is. That is harder then a written test and by the way, would they not put it in the language of the people who wan t the children. I also would not trust it, because like in our case, it would depend on the view of the examiner.

I think that at secondary schools parenting classes are important. The girls will one day become a mom very possibly. It might happen when she is a teenager, in her twenties, thirties or older. I remember having baby care lessons when I was 14 to 16 years old. It helped me and I worked as a children's nanny in Finland when I was 18 years old. I don't think that there should be a written or computer test on parenting. Parenting is a practical skill and books are around for ladies to become a better parent. Many parents don't have English as their first language because my home country has a multi cultural society. A lady just has to get pregnant to become a mom. Becoming an adoptive mom is more challenging and then the parents will be tested to see if they are suitable. If a parent is not doing well enough he or she should be given guidance. Any person that wants to have children should have them. There are many excellent parents that wouldn't do well in a written test and those that aren't familiar with a computer. In my home country to become a learner driver for a car a person needs a provisional driving license. Then he or she can have driving lessons with a driving instructor. He or she can have top up practice with a person that has had a full driving license for more than 3 years and this person must be over 21 years old. Before booking the practical driving test he or she must pass a hazard perception test and theory test. With having a parenting test it wouldn't be right to take away someone's children just because she hasn't passed the parenting test. It is not like learning to drive and then passing the practical driving test.

No parents should not be made to pass a parenting test because people are different in many ways meaning people have different belief systems and cultural views and there is no one parenting standard that will fit every parent or child. there is no one way to successfully raise child because every child has different needs depending there life circumstances So there would be no point in setting a class or test standard for every parent, because as most parents say there is no test or class that can truly prepare a mother or father for parenthood, now with that said do I think parenting classes can be helpful? yes but a parenting test or class should not be mandatory unless a parent has without a doubt proven that they can not parent properly without help or other reasons or circumstances that effect the parents ability to be a stable parent. I'm not a parent but I've been a child and I've also watched my sister blossom into a good parent and there really is no set standard of parenting that fits everyone or every child as I posted earlier, and classes are helpful for some but making them mandatory is not such a good idea.

I think that being a parent involves just as much teaching as it does learning. We are always teaching our kids things and we are always learning new and different things ourselves. What is "good parenting" for one may not be for others. I will give you an example: My daughter is a very challenging child. She is one that those "good parenting" techniques just do not work with. I have utilized every parenting tool that I, her doctor, her counsellor, the school, and other parents can think of with her. It isn't that she is a bad kid, she is actually a very good kid and very inteligent as well. With her, the challenge is to get her to do the things that she knows she needs to do without a battle and do them on time. I have to be creative with the consequences that I give her when she makes bad choices, and I cannot stick to the same thing for very long or it is no longer effective with her. What works for many other parents does not work for me. What kind of test can really be given to determine whether or not a person should have children anyway? I think that the only test is the test of time. Unfortunately, there are those people in the world who have children that they never wanted or those people who wanted kids, but seem to care less about them. The kids aren't quite abused or neglected, but they suffer because the parent(s) don't want to bother to teach them anything or to lean anything themselves. I thiink that the true ultimate test of parenthood is not whether one is prepared before to face the challenges before the child is born, but whether or not one can stand up to face the challenges as they arise. I do think that a parent should be able to seek out guidance when they feel they need it without being labeled as a bad parent, and thankfully, there are some people who feel that it is a good parent that does ask for guidance. I know that my daughter's cousellor is one of those people. He has told her a few times that I take her there because I love her and want her to be the best that she can be, because that is what a good parent does.