Falling for my best friend and leaving the friendship behind...

Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen. I thought of it over and over and decided to leave what we had behind. There are times we can't avoid seeing each other but I know someday I must face him. And that means this Wednesday for me. Because there's this thing I must attend and he'll be there. If it was only me, I wouldn't go but because the people who are expecting me to come are all very eager to see me, I mustn't turn them down. It's not all about him anyway. I won't turn down my other friends just because he's there. I may

want to be with him again since that's I miss him so much but I know I'll end up ignoring him. It's just that my mind has put up this guard for me to resist the urge of being with him again.

He does love me in a way because he does everything I expect him to. That's why every time we meet, I fall for him deeper. Love is not fraud, my friend... you just have to know how to be in control of what's best for both of you - you and the one who loves you.

He's 8 years younger than me. Hie's too young to even understand what's happening or what I'm feeling. Maybe he still doesn't get what I'm doing but it's for the best. For both of us. Thanks for the concern.

Thanks!

I've thought of having a life with him in the future and I cried a lot when I though of not being with him in the future. I cried because there was this thought that I can't be with any other guy but him. It was one thing that felt wrong, too. Another reason why I left our friendship because I didn't like the feeling that I was already settling my mind of being with him while he's still too young and there are lots of opportunities and experiences out there waiting for him. That maybe... even if it hurts to think about it, he may find someone who suits him better, as I said above. That's why as early as I can, I'm letting him go his own way.

I don't know. I just feel I won't make him happy enough. That I'll just burden him with what I feel. I want him to be free on his own. If ever he gets hurt, I don't want the reason to be me. I want him to be happy even if it means I won't be with him anymore.

how old is he? 17? isn't there a possiblility of the two of you being together? I've heard many stories about the lady being older than the man and it still worked out. this sounds like true love. just ask him if he feels anything for you. If not then you both get on with your lives, but if he loves you back, then actually, why not? He'll grow up!

I'm not sure if he has feelings for me, too but when I was avoiding him... he just kept on reaching out to me... apologizing over and over again. I knew he didn't know what was happening and why I was avoiding him. At first, I tried not to show him I was jealous and everything but when he was with some girls and he comes back, he acts guilty of something. I know it sounds weird but it became tiring for me in some way, too. I admit I became yet another greedy person because I really didn't like girls around him even though it was obvious that when he was with me, no other girls would get his attention. All of it was on me. There were times that we were to meet in a certain place and I happen to get there first and I notice there were girls of his age there, pretty much more good-looking and appealing than me in many ways and I get jealous thinking "he must like these pretty girls. They would suit him better," that was what I usually say but then he arrives and it was like he just passed them and like they didn't exist. His eyes and smiles were all just directed to me and he won't even look at them the way I know and feel he looks at me. It makes me feel like I was the only girl or the only person there existing. It was just weird and I had this guilt feeling that I was taking too much of his attention. That there was something wrong and that I felt like I was taking a hold of him in some way and it didn't feel right. So I had to do it. I had to avoid him and end the relationship we had.

Right now, we have our own busy lives and being together... I don't know if it'll work. With him beside, I'm just content with the happiness and I just do the things which will make him happy. Even though, he also gives me that overflowing happiness that no one else has ever given me, it's really tough and becomes tiring. It takes too much of my energy trying to ignore the fact that I want to always be with him... ALWAYS! And when we had to go home to our separate homes, it makes me feel so weak and I had to think about him every time. It really is tiring for me. And I feel it is for him, too. I've seen the efforts he put in for us to spend time together as often as we can. And it just doesn't really feel right.