Falling for my best friend and leaving the friendship behind...
By kharen
@kharen (1488)
Philippines
March 26, 2011 2:29pm CST
I fell in love with my best friend but he's too young and I can't face it. I don't know if it's wrong to say that it's wrong to love him. But one thing I know is there are lots more girls out there his age or younger than him that suits him better than me so I stopped being friends with him.
And besides, I was getting guilty over and over again when he was asking sorry for my own fault of getting jealous of every girl he talks to even though I try to hide it, he still knows when something's wrong and tries to assure me he was only friends with those girls and he asks sorry though he really didn't need to.
So I want to stop my greediness. I want him to stop closing his world around me and I want him to go out there and be free without me beside me. Because with me there, he would only do the things he knows would include me and won't do other things that I won't be there for him.
I still love him though I know it's not the right time. And that maybe in time, he will eventually find the girl meant for him. I won't exist in his world and he won't exist in mine even though he's still in my heart.
I admit, I haven't been that happy my whole life. Even in my former relationships before falling for him, I haven't felt such happiness but I stood and left that happiness behind believing that this is what's best for us. I may not be that happy anymore but I think he'll be happier without me and my love for him, and that's enough for me.
3 people like this
7 responses
@RebeLotter (253)
•
27 Mar 11
The guy is young and stupid i guess, If I had the same situation, i wouldn't hesitate to court that person.
but in reality, he might end up replacing you with some one younger. you made the right decision, who knows he would chose you in the end. but letting him go was the best.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen. I thought of it over and over and decided to leave what we had behind. There are times we can't avoid seeing each other but I know someday I must face him. And that means this Wednesday for me. Because there's this thing I must attend and he'll be there. If it was only me, I wouldn't go but because the people who are expecting me to come are all very eager to see me, I mustn't turn them down.
It's not all about him anyway. I won't turn down my other friends just because he's there. I may
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
27 Mar 11
ohhhhhh friend dont fall in love, love means only fraud never other than this.
You have full life enjoy and marry with a good person who loves you not only you loves him but he should also loves you.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
He does love me in a way because he does everything I expect him to. That's why every time we meet, I fall for him deeper.
Love is not fraud, my friend... you just have to know how to be in control of what's best for both of you - you and the one who loves you.
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
26 Mar 11
Hi. kharen. I can tell you that you are a very strong woman. You have gave up your feelings just because you love this young guy. You know that it would be best for him to move on than for you to keep a hold on him. Not many women could be as honest as you are being. I wonder how old is your young friend anyway? I am sorry that you can't be in a relationship with him because of his age. I hope that he won't be crushed to find out that you want him to move on to a girl that his age. I am sorry that it had to be this way for you and for him.
1 person likes this
@Genericbe (1376)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
You know what kharen? you are not just a strong woman but a dignified person as well. Your related experience explored positive impact to any person undergoing same experiences. WHY? because after that realizations, you came out with a good remedy showing an unselfish act. You have set both of your directions straight without any more abuse and give a good moral values. I guess that guy, had treasured you well with greater respect from what you did, and if he will be choosing someone for him, it will be more closer to your qualities.
Sometimes, sacrifices are needed to be done to make some mistakes be corrected. However, as what all do says, it is in experiences we learn, not minding the judgement of other people though they have no right to condemn other mistakes, IT is in some conflicting situations, we can prove in ourselves how far we can be as a better person and can rely to our strengths against temptations that will never be corrected from the start till end, but a remedy to correct and make the best decisions that will give resolutions and serves as an inspiration source to other people.
@pogi253 (1596)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
Being in love may be a lot of things, but it's absolutely not a fool's play. For some it's a mere fascination, which fades away with time. If you actually see your future with your best friend, you need to know if you are in love with your best friend or is it just some youthful attraction. Know you’re feeling well, by analyzing your feelings, emotions and actions towards your best friend.
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
I've thought of having a life with him in the future and I cried a lot when I though of not being with him in the future. I cried because there was this thought that I can't be with any other guy but him. It was one thing that felt wrong, too. Another reason why I left our friendship because I didn't like the feeling that I was already settling my mind of being with him while he's still too young and there are lots of opportunities and experiences out there waiting for him. That maybe... even if it hurts to think about it, he may find someone who suits him better, as I said above. That's why as early as I can, I'm letting him go his own way.
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
I don't know. I just feel I won't make him happy enough. That I'll just burden him with what I feel. I want him to be free on his own. If ever he gets hurt, I don't want the reason to be me. I want him to be happy even if it means I won't be with him anymore.
@kosykosy (160)
• Ghana
29 Mar 11
how old is he? 17? isn't there a possiblility of the two of you being together? I've heard many stories about the lady being older than the man and it still worked out. this sounds like true love. just ask him if he feels anything for you. If not then you both get on with your lives, but if he loves you back, then actually, why not? He'll grow up!
@joryll88 (11)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
you did what you thought was right and thats a big sacrifice. I mean thats not easy. Do you have any idea if that bestfriend of yours has any feeling for you? Judging from his actions maybe he has. Im not that sure but why would he say sorry in the first place.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
I'm not sure if he has feelings for me, too but when I was avoiding him... he just kept on reaching out to me... apologizing over and over again. I knew he didn't know what was happening and why I was avoiding him. At first, I tried not to show him I was jealous and everything but when he was with some girls and he comes back, he acts guilty of something.
I know it sounds weird but it became tiring for me in some way, too. I admit I became yet another greedy person because I really didn't like girls around him even though it was obvious that when he was with me, no other girls would get his attention. All of it was on me.
There were times that we were to meet in a certain place and I happen to get there first and I notice there were girls of his age there, pretty much more good-looking and appealing than me in many ways and I get jealous thinking "he must like these pretty girls. They would suit him better," that was what I usually say but then he arrives and it was like he just passed them and like they didn't exist. His eyes and smiles were all just directed to me and he won't even look at them the way I know and feel he looks at me. It makes me feel like I was the only girl or the only person there existing.
It was just weird and I had this guilt feeling that I was taking too much of his attention. That there was something wrong and that I felt like I was taking a hold of him in some way and it didn't feel right. So I had to do it. I had to avoid him and end the relationship we had.
1 person likes this
@jhaidro (877)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
This is tough. I think that if you both have the same feelings for the other, there is no reason to let go of one another. You may be right when you say that it is right to set him free but if he wants to be with you then why not let it be? We live by our emotions and not by what other people may think. At times in love, we only have one chance to make things right. If we do not do anything about it then it may be the end of the line for our love story.
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
Right now, we have our own busy lives and being together... I don't know if it'll work. With him beside, I'm just content with the happiness and I just do the things which will make him happy. Even though, he also gives me that overflowing happiness that no one else has ever given me, it's really tough and becomes tiring. It takes too much of my energy trying to ignore the fact that I want to always be with him... ALWAYS! And when we had to go home to our separate homes, it makes me feel so weak and I had to think about him every time. It really is tiring for me. And I feel it is for him, too. I've seen the efforts he put in for us to spend time together as often as we can. And it just doesn't really feel right.