At what age did you turn into your mother?
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85146)
Shingle Springs, California
March 30, 2011 10:35am CST
I heard this on the radio this morning, and it made me laugh. There's a poll out there somewhere, not just for women, but for men too, asking how old you were when you realized that you had turned into your mother. 
R has definitely turned into his mother. But we won't go there.
As for me, I swore growing up that I would never do that. At least I would never be as snappish, as intolerant as she was toward dad, as "always right", etc. I did want to be as smart as her, and I always admired the way she took people under her wing and helped them out.
I don't think I turned into mom, but I definitely have some of her traits. But I also think I learned from some of her mistakes, and I have a better relationship with my children because of it. Ironically (credit where credit is due), I also learned to be a better parent from R (no, not "how not to" lol).
So, have you turned into your mother? How? When did you realize it?
R has definitely turned into his mother. But we won't go there.
As for me, I swore growing up that I would never do that. At least I would never be as snappish, as intolerant as she was toward dad, as "always right", etc. I did want to be as smart as her, and I always admired the way she took people under her wing and helped them out.
I don't think I turned into mom, but I definitely have some of her traits. But I also think I learned from some of her mistakes, and I have a better relationship with my children because of it. Ironically (credit where credit is due), I also learned to be a better parent from R (no, not "how not to" lol).
So, have you turned into your mother? How? When did you realize it?7 people like this
34 responses
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
30 Mar 11
i'm really nothing like my mom.
my dad,on the other hand-so much so that people have picked me out as being his.
i have the same mannerisms,walk,and talk the same way.he and i used to have "last word" arguements that stretched into weeks.
mom wasn't really around that much when i was a kid.and when she was,she still wasn't.
3 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
30 Mar 11
rico-the community is english speaking only right now,mylot doesn't have individual country boards.
otherwise,you won't make any dollars.
3 people like this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
30 Mar 11
Rico is off-topic, too. I used a translator out of curiosity: "live in Brazil and would earn dollars with this community"
Rico, speak English and respond to the current discussion!
4 people like this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
I am 26 and we just recently moved out from my mom's house and i just swore to myself that i would not turn back... but time will tell, i am just starting and i know there will still more to come that might make me turn back or might not make me turn back. Honestly, i also admire my mom, she was the one who worked so hard for me to be able to go to good schools but i do not want to be like her, she also made mistakes that i learned from it and made me a better parent now and make me have a better relationship with my kids as well. There were lessons as i grew up under her wing that i know i could use or not use with my kids.. but no, i do not want to be like her, she is someone who can be a martyr when it comes to dad and i am not that, i want to be independent and i know she wants me too..
3 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Mar 11
Like my mom, kind of. I'm glad I have certain of her traits, but I wouldn't want to have others.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
31 Mar 11
She's done a good job with you, it seems. She ought to be proud you are so independent (as much as "martyrs" CAN be proud 
)
)1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Mar 11
Well, I was about twenty five before I realized she really did know what she was talking about. Atleast a third of the time anyway. I have noticed over just the last three to five years that I am alot like her and have alot of her personality traits. If this were the case in other areas and with other personality traits then I can certainly understand alot of our problems down through the years.
@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Mar 11
Me too. There are alot of simalarities but alot of things that aren't at all similar. And I think that is because of her influence in those areas. Sort of weird,huh?
1 person likes this
@marguicha (222855)
• Chile
31 Mar 11
I hope I haven´t turned into my mother. But I am VERY wise and I won´t ask my daughters. At this old age I have discovered that there are things it´s best I don´t know. There are some things I don´t ask my grandchildren (the bigger ones) and definitely there are some I don´t ask my daughters. The last time I did (my mother´s voice speaking?), my daughter reminded me sweetly how old she was. I wish I had been like that at her age!
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Mar 11
My daughters have been very nice. Mom you're not old. Mom you don't need to lose weight. I think I'll keep them...
@marguicha (222855)
• Chile
31 Mar 11
By all means DO! At least until they start to get patronizing. They are all phases, you know
.My daughters say one thing but not always act as they speak.
.My daughters say one thing but not always act as they speak.1 person likes this
@debrakcarey (19887)
• United States
30 Mar 11
When my children became as rebellious as I was as a teenager. Now I'm watching the process in my son as he interacts with HIS teenage son!
you know what they say about paybacks! 
you know what they say about paybacks! 3 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 11
You are correct, but you are also off topic. :D
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
30 Mar 11
Personally since I was never able to have any kids, I cannot totally compare to if I would have been like my mother, and in a lot of ways with the way I am now being so proactive and such, I know I could have never been like her. She never really held down a job, had severe problems with mobility etc. that makes mine look mild. She did always try to help out a lot of people when she could which I also do, but there are a lot of differences in us that makes me Glad I am different.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 11
If we're talking about health issues, I am really glad I did not get arthritis like my mom did. She had it everywhere and starting when she was in her 30's.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
31 Mar 11
Yes..in some ways I have...but also like you said I took some of the negatives and turned them into something different. Like before we ever did anything fun she usually said something to put a damper on things....I tried never to do that to my kids. I truthfully am more like my dad even though I admired my mother to no end. Even in stature I am more like dad....small..I don't know when I turned into one of my parents....I know my sister turned into our mom about 5 years ago! LOL
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Mar 11
One thing I never liked about mom was the backhanded compliments, like "great report card, but you are capable of getting all A's". So if I catch myself doing that, I try to stop myself.
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
30 Mar 11
I have heard of the saying. I can't say that I've turned into my mom. I don't feel like I'm a lot like her. Yes, we have some things in common, but we're still different. I don't really want to become like my mom. There are just somethings that I don't necessarily like or really agree with. Don't get me wrong, I do love my mother, but I would still prefer not turn out exactly like her.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Mar 11
fortunately, my mom taught me how to NOT be like her. there was to much crap she did to me and put me through that i was determined not to be like her to my kids. the thing that hurt me most though and causes me to be a little more like her now when it comes to giving my kids money, is when my youngest bragged about what a great business woman and saver grandma was.
this from the one thats needed my help the most.
now im not so much into helping him and he knows why. hes tried to apologize since but thats the one way ive tried harder to be like mom. @dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 11
Well I guess she had at least one redeeming trait...
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
31 Mar 11
You know what? I can proudly say that I am nothing like my mother! A few years ago I began to see traits so I started medication and here I am nothing like her and believe me that is a really good thing! My mother needs medication too I think but refuse to acknowledge that revelling in your own misery is not the way to live!
2 people like this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
30 Mar 11
I know I have some of my mom's traits but I only become her in relationships! Every dang relationship I have been into I have become her! I try to be the perfect woman! I try to aviod getting yelled at! If I do something wrong I'll hide it from him! Thanks to this,I will never date agian,with a lot of other reasons!!
I do remeber birthdays and anniversaries with no problem! I am a caring person. I am also helpful. Those are some of the good things I get from my mom!
2 people like this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
31 Mar 11
Well, I've always been 'always right' (except of course in disagreement with her). But I have not yet been lulled into the sleepy stupor of marriage ... of course, that's only because 'The Next She' hasn't asked me yet 
2 people like this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
31 Mar 11
Yep 
The only real stand I have is age---about six or seven years (from girls who were seniors in HS when I was a freshman in HS to girls who were freshmen in HS when I was a senior in HS ... yep, still waiting on those dreams of me and an ol` high-school sweetheart 
)
The only real stand I have is age---about six or seven years (from girls who were seniors in HS when I was a freshman in HS to girls who were freshmen in HS when I was a senior in HS ... yep, still waiting on those dreams of me and an ol` high-school sweetheart )1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47274)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Mar 11
Is this discussion under depression? Because it's just too darn depressing.
I look in the mirror and yup, there she is... although the hair and eye colors are different.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 11
I looked in the mirror when I was 30, saw mom and lost 30 lbs. It's not all bad... :D
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
30 Mar 11
Consciously or unconsciously we do turn out to be like our mothers. My children comment more these days ,saying that I am beginning to sound and act like their grand ma! Sometimes this is a compliment but at other times they are referring to certain irritating traits of my mother lol....My mother is a very gentle lady but she is a bit slow in understanding certain things and this somewhat frustrating to the grand children and they tease her no end which she takes in a very sportive manner...Now I get to hear this as well ...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 11
When it's the good traits, it's a compliment, but there are usually some things we don't want to do like our mothers.
@much2say (55562)
• Los Angeles, California
30 Mar 11
R's turned into his mom? Hee hee. I don't think I turned into my mom, but like you said, I definitely have some of her traits. My mom was always kinda sheepish - didn't stand up for herself - submissive to my dad - not very social - cried a lot (we knew even behind closed doors) - not one to try "new" things - never did anything other than take care of us (no hobbies/friends). I certainly learned from her mistakes as well. I have a better marriage than she did and am more interactive with my kids than she was with us. Still, she and I have a great relationship, but our approach to life is certainly different!
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 11
yeah, he butts into everything, says the weirdest things, does a lot of things the way she does them....
@mercedlegurpa (955)
• Philippines
2 Apr 11
Me and mom are not close because it was grandparents who nurtured me when I was a child; I'm not my mom's favorite. In my teen years, she's very strict regarding relationship; this means no boyfriend until I've finished my schooling. But I never graduated from college, I've waited but to no avail so I migrated to a big city and work there. As I am now a mother, my relationship with my daughter goes very well. I trust her, so does she. She's always open to me. Compared with my mom before, I always keep my secret to myself because she's very strict.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Apr 11
So do you find yourself doing and saying things that your grandparents used to do?
