why cant i just be happy with life and things?
By ren1982
@ren1982 (341)
April 1, 2011 4:57am CST
i have been on anti depression meds since oct last year and i still really dont feel that much different. i have tried a few different kinds of anti depression meds but i just feel like nothing has changed inside of me. i still just have this feeling of worthlessness and lost inside of me. i just wish i could be happy. i look around at other people and wish to be like them but i just cant. i get up and do my make up some days and go out and try to be like everyone else but it does nothing i just feel like a big faker smiling away telling people yes i am getting better but really i am not. days when i dont do my make up i dont even bother getting dressed just lay on the sofa hiding under the covers wishing i could just go away. i hate my life, i hate myself, i hate the way i look, and i hate the way i feel. i feel like everything i try to do goes wrong and i just think what have i done so wrong in my life to be punished like this? i never got to have a good childhood or even when i was a teenager and yes i know there are people out there that have had alot worse then me but still i feel like this.
i hate when i sit in front of the mirror and look at myself. i have never really liked the way i look. yes i take photos of myself but for some reason i have it in my head that in person i look nothing like i do in a photo. i will never go out with out makeup on or allow others to see me with out my makeup on. i guess my makeup is my mask. but i just wish i could be happy with the way i look but i just never have.
am i always going to feel like this about me.... about my life?
or am i always going to be unhappy and just have to fake the way i feel around people?
9 responses
@hagomuk (32)
• India
4 Apr 11
you should go for yoga, it is very good exercise for health and happiness
you can know about yoga tecniques online.
it really helps.
and one main thing do not forget to recite god daily but with keeping your mind concentration to god.
it is best thing to get out of depression...
@kareemadivina (1230)
• Philippines
30 May 11
Why are you taking anti-depressants?Are you already diagnose with depression?I think you really need to see a psychiatrist to help you with your depression.Maybe you also need your family to be involve.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
29 Apr 11
You need to stop identifying with your body and the events in your life and live in the present. Love things for what they are. Nothing is greater than or less than anything else. We are all one. We are all connected. Nothing can exist on its own. You are never truly alone.
I recommend going to youtube and looking up Eckhart Tolle. He never fails to cheer me up. He is a spiritual teacher who has written some books.
As someone who has been on all kinds of depression meds, I can tell you this: if you don't allow yourself to change your attitude towards the world, they are just a waste of money.
Good luck. Namaste.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
5 Apr 11
It's funny how you say about your own photo not being the real you. I get those feelings sometimes. I see photo of myself, and I try to remember what I was thinking when it was taken. Sure I have a big smile for the camera, but my eyes tell a different story.
Don't let these feelings take a hold of you. Find happiness in small things. Take little steps.
I hope you feel better.
@aghiuta (525)
• Canada
2 Apr 11
You are a very pretty girl,so believe your mirror , and even if things seem hopeless, it is up to you to change things. Talking to a doctor about your dissatisfaction with your life,might help,but I would stop the pills,since they do not seem to help.Then find a hobby,or something that catches your interest,and work with that.In the beginning you might have to force yourself to get going,but you might realize that you are having fun.See if you can find a group of people in the same situation,and try to help each other.Life is too short not to enjoy it. Also it might help to make yourself a schedule with things to do and force yourself to do them,even if you do not feel like it.You might discover that you will like it,and you will have the satisfaction of accomplishing what you set up to do.That is a beginning.(Even if is something small like taking a walk in the park,or going to a museum.)
@craziestqueenever (1819)
• Philippines
4 Apr 11
Hello ren1982! While I was reading your discussion I can probably say that we do have the same situation right now. The only difference is that I didn't took an Anti-depression medication. I know what you feel right now, I had been in your situation and sometimes I am still in your situation. Just Look into the brighter side of Life. I suggest you must read an Inspirational book or A Self-Esteem book so that you will be cheered up.
@subhakars (932)
• India
1 Apr 11
Sorry to hear what has been going on with you. You seem to be missing love and affection from people.
However, no one can give you true love and happiness. If you watch a movie and go out you would be happy for few moments. But if you want to be filled with joy you need to come to Jesus. Jesus can only give u comfort and peace. He can take away your sorrow and pain.
I was suffering a lot last year and depressed. When I started loving Jesus, things have changed upside down. God has taken away my sorrows and turned my mourning into dancing. I just wanted to share my new life with Jesus. You can try and check for yourselves.
@NIECIE21 (365)
• United States
1 Apr 11
I am so sorry for the way you are feeling right now. I went thru the same thing a few years ago, and I know that it really sucks. The first thing you should try to do is go talk to a doctor. I refused to do so for a while, until it was pretty much my last choice to do so. It was so hard to go the first few times, but I did. She was able to help me to work out issues that I didnt even really know that I had and to work out some feelings I had from something that had happened to me several years before. As I started to talk about these things, I was slowly taken off my medication. Was it easy? No, but it was so worth it! I look back on that time in my life and while I dont like the way I felt, it made me a stronger woman and helped me to learn more about what I need to do to make sure it doesnt happen again. Good luck, and I hope you find what helps you soon so you can start to feel better!
@pnkreal (68)
• India
1 Apr 11
stop any anti-depressants if you continuing.Now that you have been taking these medicines from a long time it seems ,you dont seem to be prone anymore.Just keep a postive attitude towards life.I feel at times to draw some kind of inspiration i wud look at people who have a more dreaded life than mine,sounds wierd but that it is 1 way u can b inspired.Please dont put any mask be the actual self,whether someone likes you or not.Just fight it out.Do what you are doind keep reading and writing,you wnt b unhappy .Love yourself so as to be loved by others.Hope this helps.
Cheers!!!
