You can chose your friends, but not your family, is a good saying sometimes

Look at all of the relationships that we have in our lives. there are some we have by choice and yet others we are born into. each of these relationships touches us in different ways. I often wonder if i could choose both family and friend relationships, if i would pick the ones that i have now.

Like I was just saying in another discussion- If we didn't love our families they would irritate and hurt us like they do/can. Boundaries my dear. And co-dependency. Ugh! It is her chose as a mother to treat her son so but that doesn't mean your friend has to put up with it. And if this guy did some work did he spend of the money on his mom or help her out any? Hard situation.

I think this has a lot to do with what the mother does for her son. His mother allows this behavior, so as a son he acts upon it. You're right, you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. But to still be thankful for your family, they are who you can't get rid of.

Yes many times this situation is arise for most of the people they choose friends rather than their family but I want to suggest all those people dont do this because family is family and family member will always ready for you if you are in any problems but friends leave you alone in difficult situation. So dont believe on your friend more than your family.

Hmmmm I am lucky my response select as best response and thanks for it. But really now good and innocent friend is not exist in the world only selfish person are there.

True. I sometimes wonder how is it possible that me and my cousins are related when we have nothing in common and, more often than not, nothing to talk about. The conversations between me and a certain cousin of mine are always painful, especially for me. He seems to enjoy them as he's always ringing me up, but for the life of me I can't understand why . We have nothing remotely interesting to talk about and we would never even look at one another if we weren't related. I have all the respect in the world for my relatives, but sometimes I just wish they would leave me alone.

Hi. joystick. It really sounds like your friend's brother is very mean and nasty. I don't blame her for not dealing with him either. He should do more with his life rather than to let someone or his mom take care of him. I can see how this is affecting her. It is sad that family members can be like this. It is best that this girl establishes a life for herself so that you doesn't have to be around this aggravation.

[i] “You can chose your friends, but not your family, is a good saying sometimes” [/i]How true is that? My family has a list of dysfunctions a mile long and when, as an adult, I because aware that not all they ‘taught’ me is healthy and what my sister and I considered normal as we were growing up was in fact abuse I felt so much hurt and confusion but I too made the decision that indeed I did not choose these people and because I have my own family now I rather focus on them and let the past go.

Hi Joystick. you are so right about this. bad or good, they are still one of them. but remember, the one who is lazy is the one who have to feel the suffer alone. ,maybe their family can help, but she/he has the whole life

Family will always be family, no matter if we say differently. There is really nothing more to say with it. I'd be lying if I said that I get along with every member of my family all of the time. In fact, there are times where we might be at each others throats. However, that is really nothing that is out of the ordinary. There are many times where a lot of people are at each others throats and they still are family. I mean friends come and go, some stick around and become as close as family, but they are never actually family. From the moment that we are born until the day that we die, we are pretty much stuck with our family. Through the good times and through the bad times and through the rather indifferent times as well. Family is family and that is really is the bottom line. So you're right, we can choose our friends, but we can't really choose our family.

hi, you are definitely right,that we can choose our friends but not our family,our family always wanted us to be safe and to be good,but what about my boyfriend's family,they restricted him in everything,in his life,love life and works and others.

Many can see the same picture differently. I can't blame the brother of your friend. He might have been brought up that way to the point where his dependency is already the result of his family's natural or normal way of life. Well, this saying, "You can choose your friends but never your family" has something to do with acceptance. Family members being blood connected and related is too hard to get rid of and away from it. Whether we like them or not we need to love them and show our confidence with. For without them, no one else in this world would accept us in open arms like the way our fleshly brothers and sisters do. Friends are there, but they are not there for life. Friends come and go but some are cherished and treasured but is immeasurable to the manner blood kin do. Family will always be treasured no matter what ups or downs you are in. Family members are treasures and gifts from above which each of us must learn to treasure and protect for a lifetime. =)

it''s difficult. We all get to experience that one time or another. But blood will always be thicker than water, and that is the hard reality in being a member of a family.one member protects another and another relies on other family members too much. Have your friend confronted her brother or mother? Cause I really think your friend has every right to do so. Her brother is ruining their family ties. I do not know but it's not like you can divorce your family or just let them be. Someone has to step up and take action, cause after all they are all part of a family... right? :)

That is true!!! But blood is a blood.. Nothing perferct in this world... Looking or finding friends is a choice that we can make. We look for a friend that suited or fits to our taste, easy to be with and mingle for. In family sometimes your lucky enough that all your needs or desire achieve and attained sometimes wishing you will be like others having like that and this and with a so called a almost perfect family that gives you love and attention and comforts you all the way.

How frustrating to see that going on and not being able to do something like that. There is no excuse for his behavior.