Do I have to Lie?
By Toni
@toniganzon (72533)
Philippines
April 4, 2011 7:47am CST
Ok, so here's the thing. A friend of mine would constantly talk to me on the phone, chatting and he never sleeps though he lives half way around the globe and it means his time zone is the exact opposite of mine. He would talk to me about everything and anything even if he's with friends and his friends don't mind that at all.
So one time he asked me if i missed him at all and i said i don't. My point is, how can you miss someone who's always there and never leaves your side? Isn't it true that we miss someone only when we cannot sense their presence?
Well because i blatantly told him that i don't, he said i was mean. Now, do i have to lie so that he would feel better?
8 responses
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
4 Apr 11
you shouldn't lie if that is not what you are into. You seem to be a blunt person so you should stay true to yourself. Some people are flatterers- they say things because they think it will make their friends happy. Most people get annoyed by these people because they are never honest.
I applaud you for thinking for yourself and being honest with the guy. It might hurt his feelings temporarily but in the long run he will appreciate it.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72533)
• Philippines
4 Apr 11
Thank you for saying this. You are right about me. I am frank and i don't like pretending just to make another person feel satisfied about himself. I don't want to give false hope or happiness to everybody. When i give a compliment it should be genuine and the happiness would be more genuine too.
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
5 Apr 11
You don't have to lie,but if you know the guy well enough,You could have said something more tactfully to that effect like "How can I miss you when we're chatting all the time?" Or something like that..But it sounds like hearing a Yes from you was what he wanted..Maybe he misses you More..
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
4 Apr 11
Hi dear,
These all are certain technical terms or usages when it comes to relationships. We cannot expect such words or phrases from all and only from the dear ones. When they ask like and of course, they are expecting a positive response, that is, 'yes, I am really missing you'. This is the chemistry of the relationships and the other party can consider how much you loves him or her, and the expectation of feelings make them good and relaxed. In stead of you say, really missing, he could have felt proud and it is a kind of measurement of closeness. In certain times, such truth also has the power to generate pains and disappointments.
If I was asked this question, I would say, I miss you, so that the person on the other end feel much relaxed. All it depend on the person who is on the other side, Some time I used to say, I miss you, if I really feel so, and if someone ask me also, I used to say, yes. Because it compensates and here there is no value for true or false, it is just our mental transactions which we cannot express through words, but needs to be experienced.
Thank-s
1 person likes this
@anneish (117)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
NO... you don't have to lie to someone just to make her/him feel better.
what you did is perfectly right,!
maybe just explain to him further about your point in telling the truth,...cause everything can be done in a good and sincere conversation.
1 person likes this
@moirai (2853)
• Philippines
4 Apr 11
Hehe. Well, you don't have to lie. It is really best to tell the truth and avoid lying at all cost.
At the same time, however, I think it is better to also consider the feelings of the other person. So if I were asked that question, instead of bluntly saying 'no, I don't', I would probably say 'well, we talk everyday so no I don't miss you haha!' Yes, the laugh would be part of it, in an effort to make the statement lighter so it's not as hurtful as it would be otherwise. =P
That's probably how I'd go about it. I do appreciate that you are a frank person, and there's nothing really wrong with that either. =)
I suppose it's not a matter of lying or not. It's more a matter of making the truth less hurtful. =)
1 person likes this
@atprudente6 (673)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
You really don't have to lie at all. But see to it that you will tell him the truth in a nice and strategic manner so that to avoid misunderstanding.