Should the Children stay too dependent on parents even after their maturity?
By besthope44
@besthope44 (12123)
India
April 5, 2011 1:12am CST
My friend is so worried about her daughter, who is 23 years old. Her daughter is so independent, she wants to decide good and bad for herself. So what I feel his parents after a certain age can become a advisor or wellwisher but cannot purely control the children to follow the parents way! Thats healthy way
. Younger generation doesnot like to be dependent on parents and wanted to learn life by themselves. My friend believes only parents know the good of the children no matter how much age they are! Do you support my friend or daughter?
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. Younger generation doesnot like to be dependent on parents and wanted to learn life by themselves. My friend believes only parents know the good of the children no matter how much age they are! Do you support my friend or daughter?.1 person likes this
6 responses
@sfleric (83)
• China
6 Apr 11
I support neither of them.
Because I think independence is good for the youth generation, with their growth, they should make a lot of decisions and learn to take responsibilities. However, it does not mean they could live completely without their parents.
The older ones always have more insights of how to live a healthy life, they could give some valuable advice to their children to correct some bad habits.
So it is significant to establish a effective way of communication between the two generations so that family members can build mutual-trust and solid relationships in between.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Apr 11
Hi sfleric, You find it is the generation gap which has to be solved by a good communication, 
thats strong answer. I appreciate it. This is where the parents and children get into arguments, as they lack communication. When they talk and freak out their ideas of what each expected from one other and above all trust, then thats the best way of growing up. But whom do you think can sacrifice more, coz i think Children they are new to life so they will be little adament on their interest, so I feel parents can go smooth with them , communicate and make them set on success. Am I right?
thats strong answer. I appreciate it. This is where the parents and children get into arguments, as they lack communication. When they talk and freak out their ideas of what each expected from one other and above all trust, then thats the best way of growing up. But whom do you think can sacrifice more, coz i think Children they are new to life so they will be little adament on their interest, so I feel parents can go smooth with them , communicate and make them set on success. Am I right?@besthope44 (12123)
• India
8 Apr 11
Well worded. Maintaining a good interaction and sharing the views will help to bridge the gap between both generations. Too much of anything is good for nothing, so as the advices to children. Friendly approach will help them to think and analyse thereby taking up it from parents. You said at right way
. Maintaining a good interaction and sharing the views will help to bridge the gap between both generations. Too much of anything is good for nothing, so as the advices to children. Friendly approach will help them to think and analyse thereby taking up it from parents. You said at right way@sfleric (83)
• China
8 Apr 11
Partly true, I think.
It is no doubt that sophisticated parents could give their children enormous useful and instructive advice.
However, if they give their guides as orders or commands, their children may not willing to accept it even though they know it's the right thing they should do.
So it is important to utilize a harmonious way to maintain the good interaction and communication between the two generation.
@ashish3090 (254)
• India
6 Apr 11
I think from one way your friend is correct about taking care of his daughter without any hesitation of age but when a boy or a girl grow up they have there own thinking, they have some feelings which they cannot share with there parents,as a result there ideas differs from the ideas of their parents....
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Apr 11
Hi ashish, Different in ideas comes in clash due to the age gap or generation gap. Parents can take charge on children when atmost need to correct them. But after their maturity, they should allow them to grow in less loop control, so they can correct them only at biggest problems rather than controling in all cases. You said the reason for the difference of opinions, a very valid reason
@camomile07 (1420)
• Germany
5 Apr 11
It's normal that, once you reach certain age, persons want to be independent and decide on her/his own or even to life on her/his own.
The age when everyone wants to get independent depends on each and her/his maturity. It changes inbetween every person.
In this case, if she wants to do so, maybe the best way to learn is from her own faults. Of course, her mother as such still should be able to give her advice to make sure that her daughter won't make too many mistakes. But she already has got the right age to take her own decisions, wrong or right, it doesn't matter.
The problem is, once we have got a child (or children), we never want them to get adults. We will consider them as our small ones for the rest of their lives. So as our children have to learn to be an adult, also we (as parents we are) have to learn to accept that they are not Babies any more. Also we wanted to have our own oportunities when we were young so now it's the turn of our children.
As parents we are, we always have to take care of our children, giving them advice and extend them our hands for any help when they need. But we also have to allow them to live their life.
I remember two different slogans I heard a few years ago which might be interesting to think about:
1) Human is the only animal who stumbles twice about the same stone.
2) "Victory" doesn't mean never to fall down, it means to stand up always you fall down.
Maybe we could try to applicate in our live every time we do a mistake.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Apr 11
Hi camomile, I am really pleased and you have worded excellent. True, parents should allow kids to learn from their own faults and live their life
as they dream. Cool Slogans, interesting one and you have explained what I felt in excellent way. I would advice my friend through your words, she would for sure accept it and let her daughter set go on her path
. True, parents should allow kids to learn from their own faults and live their life
as they dream. Cool Slogans, interesting one and you have explained what I felt in excellent way. I would advice my friend through your words, she would for sure accept it and let her daughter set go on her path
@kalyani1234 (637)
• India
5 Apr 11
Hello besthope44, I really don't support these views, it may be true that the parents do know what is best for their children but even after they attain maturity, if it is the parents who are making decisions for their children, then I am afraid they are just not letting their children grow up.
Yes, the parents can become their well-wishers and advisors but they should stop interfering with their decisions. Also, in India it is the norm or should I say mindset of the parents to keep control of their children no matter what the age! This is actually detrimental for the childrens' growth and confidence.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Apr 11
Hi Kalyani, Well said. Yes, parents sometimes get mindset that they have to keep children under control as they are kids for them even whenthey become 40. Some Children lose the thinking ability in such cases. Though the fear of parents is normal, but they should give freedom for children to learn and grow. I love animals policy, which stay with kids for sometime and later let them go and live by their own. I mean here the independency, through which the children can shape themselves the best!
. Yes, parents sometimes get mindset that they have to keep children under control as they are kids for them even whenthey become 40. Some Children lose the thinking ability in such cases. Though the fear of parents is normal, but they should give freedom for children to learn and grow. I love animals policy, which stay with kids for sometime and later let them go and live by their own. I mean here the independency, through which the children can shape themselves the best!
@naija4real (1291)
•
6 Apr 11
It depends on the culture or society that you come from. If you are from the african countries, it is appropriate to state here that most children in africa do not attain full indepedence. They still rely on their parents for some certain decisions. However, in europe and america, the system over there gives the youngster more freedom at a very tender age.
So it all depends on the society you come from.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Apr 11
Hi naija4real, Thats one valid point you have mentioned
. Society and culture plays another role with regards to growing up of the children. But in general mentality of the parents, they always have a fear on children decision. So I feel, they have to be like friend in need and help grow kids to think well and shape up themselves. Too much depending on parents will make them no more a good decision taker of life. Am i right?
. Society and culture plays another role with regards to growing up of the children. But in general mentality of the parents, they always have a fear on children decision. So I feel, they have to be like friend in need and help grow kids to think well and shape up themselves. Too much depending on parents will make them no more a good decision taker of life. Am i right?
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
5 Apr 11
Parents do know a whole more than their children. Children though at that age it's good for them to make decisions and chooses on their own. Parents will probably always give their advice but hopefully by that age a young adult will have had enough guidance from their parents to make good decisions.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Apr 11
Hi Dominique, I agree to your words on the responsibility of parents towards the children. But they also should be given freedom to think, thats were the kids naturally grow. Parents should advice friendly, but not control them so much which may affect children in negative way
. As simple too much of anything is not gonna make good. But I am totally convinced with your point.
. But they also should be given freedom to think, thats were the kids naturally grow. Parents should advice friendly, but not control them so much which may affect children in negative way. As simple too much of anything is not gonna make good. But I am totally convinced with your point.