Am I a good mother or not?

United States
April 5, 2011 3:22pm CST
Hello everybody Im kind of new to his but I have really been wondering what makes a good mother?I have been told that its not the things that you cant do but the things that you do with your child that helps determine this.But is it enough.Well the main reason that I feel that I might not be a good mother is because my childs father is not around.I cant even blame his dad because he doesnt even know that he is the dad for sure.Well what I mean is that when my child was born it was just me and my mom at the hospital.My child was born premature so when he came home he was just 5lbs.I had his so called dad and his mom come over and he told me that his mom said that the baby doesnt look like him.But what really did it was the fact that I told him that I had a friend besides him but we werent together didnt matter.I think that was just a way out.So time went by and I got with a dude that actually started claiming my son as his own.He even went with me to an appointment and put his name down as the father.Well he was a great guy but we are no longer together and now Im with my husband and he tells my son that the most high gave him a father even if he is not his blood father he will always be his father.So really my son has had 1 dad and a father but I feel bad everytime my son ask me why his dad aint here.I know in a way its my fault for the situation but does it make me a bad mother?
1 response
iva75cpb
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
6 Apr 11
Not having the biological father around doesn't make you a bad mother. Or your husband not being the biological father doesn't make him a non-father. It's up to you and him to make a real family to your child. Eventually it's not the biological father who is the real father but the man who is beside you and who loves that child, who supports that child, the man who looks after you and your child and who loves you both. That's the real father. It was never about the biology. And you are NOT a bad mother if this bothers you. Yes, you can feel bad when your boy asks you about his "biological" dad but if he's old enough it won't hurt to tell him the truth and how you feel about this. It's not a single case and many people live like this. The most important thing is you and your son to be happy with the man you live with now. As to the child, it will be up to your son only to decide how he will feel but I'm sure he'll choose the right one.