Do you learn from your's or other peoples mistakes?
@craigy123456789 (1759)
April 6, 2011 9:41am CST
Hi guys,
In life i am sure that there will be many many times when we both see people making mistakes and/or make mistakes ourselves. I guess that this is just a part of life. There will be times when we see people making a mistake, well thats the way we would see it, then there are times when we make mistakes, we either notice ourselves or someone may point it out where we then realise that they are right. Many times we may want to do something thinking it is right, or for the best, only for it to be a big mistake. Do we learn from these mistakes or do we continue to make them? In my life i have made a few mistakes, most of the time i have learned, i guess i would learn more from my own mistakes having actually gone through it rather than seeing a mistake made by others but not actually experiencing it. The biggest mistake i made was getting married. I was 21 when i got married, i only did this as i am old fashioned and my girlfriend was pregnant, i just felt it was the right thing to do, to stand by my now new family. This marriage was a shambles, no wonder it didn't last long. I worked my backside of to earn money for us, she would spend it all and she landed me in a load of debt, took the majority of the household possesions while i worked, was sleeping with her ex, dumped my son off with her mum, left all the cooking and cleaning of the home to me even though i worked many hours and sometimes 6 or 7 days a week. This proved that getting married becuase we were bringing a child in the world is not the right thing to do, well it wasn't for us, there was no love there but atleast we sort of tried. This was my biggest mistake ever, now i am more careful when i meet women, i will also take my time as nothing needs to be rushed, better to be safe than sorry.
8 responses
@titchy1231 (732)
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6 Apr 11
i agree with you especially with marriage and relationships and when kids are involved then if its not working then you shouldnt be together just for the kids. sometimes people get on better when they are not together, and its better for the kids to see their parents getting along than fighting all the time and unhappy
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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6 Apr 11
Hi titchy1231,
When children are involved it really can cause so many many problems. You would expect that both parents would want to do what is best for their children, but even the best of intentions can turn out wrong. However, just because this happens once it does not mean that it will happen again with someone different. I guess it does also come down to the people involved. I agree that some can get on better when not together, but we all want to do whats best and until we try things we will never know, if we fail then atleast we have learned, and also we know we gave things a go. Sometimes the best thing is to walk away, but we do need to learn from past mistakes. If we are to argue then this can cause tension, not good if the children are around, but i guess if we do this once then we certainly would learn from it. Thankyou so very much for your response to this topic.
1 person likes this
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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8 Apr 11
Hi titchy1231,
Wow, 12 and a half years is a long time to be in a relationship for, i think the longest i have ever had is about 2 years. So sorry to hear that you was really unhappy for most of the relationship. It is awful when a person starts to get violent, some people still stay with there partner due to love, or being alone, or the fact that they hope that they will change and stop hitting them. Sorry to say but your ex sounds like a disgusting person from what you say, to hit a woman is very bad, but to hit one that is pregnant is an absolute disgrace. So glad that you learned that what he was doing was wrong and that you got away from all of that, hope that things are much better for you now.
1 person likes this
@titchy1231 (732)
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6 Apr 11
i was with my ex for 12 and a half years and was really unhappy for most of them, and wish i'd had the courage to leave him earlier than i did as it got to the stage where he started to get violent while i was pregnant with my second child.
@angelcrizah (33)
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22 Jun 11
Yes, I learn a lot in other people mistakes even in My own Mistakes. I used this as a guide to all the decision that I make.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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22 Jun 11
Hi angelcrizah
There isn't really a person that is out there in this world that at some point in there life will not make some form of mistake. As each day passes by we can see mistakes happen to others, we can hear about what mistakes people talk about and we can also make mistakes ourselves, no matter how small or how big mistakes do always happen. We will see more mistakes in others than we do in ourselves as we try not to make mistakes and even sometimes we are not always aware of us actually making mistakes. We can learn so much from other peoples mistakes, also if we see that we too have made some then again we can deal with this and learn from it. This is just a part of life, what we experience and shows what kind of people we are as to how we deal with the situation. Glad that you use the mistakes made by both others and yourself as a guide in all future decisions that you make. Hopefully this will help to cut down the mistakes we make for ourselves. Thankyou so very much for your response to this topic.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Oh yes...I have learned alot from my mistakes and when I see the things that other's are going through, I remember it. I think that rushing into a relationship is a very common mistake for many. It is hard to learn from that one though..lol..people fall in love and it makes them do things they normally would not do. They think it won't happen for them the same way it happened to someone else but then boom...it happens. The relationship thing is a hard lesson learned.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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8 Apr 11
Hi JenInTN,
I think that most of us really do learn from the mistakes that we make, especially the big mistakes. It is always the case that if we have gone through something bad then if we see others going through something similar it can tend to bring back those memories, which isn't always a good thing, but in a way it is good to know that we have delat with that issue and moved on as well as we could. I agree with you that rushing into a relationship is a very common mistake that many people make. It seems that it does seem to rush through, without taking your time and getting to know what a person is really like. People just seem to want it all there and then, it is not a race, things are better at a slow pace, you learn more and see more that way. More importantly if you have children then you need to know so much about your partner before them both meeting and being a part of their life. Sometimes when it comes to relationships it can be that we listen to either our head or our heart, or both, but even then the choice could still be the wrong one, when we feel we are in love we tend to let some things slide, not good really. Relationships are a hard thing, but we do have many lessons to learn and hopefully we will learn from past mistakes. Knowing what it is like to be hurt should teach us to not make the same or similar mistakes again, but relationships are complicated and nothing is ever that easy. Thankyou so very much for your response to this topic.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Apr 11
I am a person that is able to learn both from my own mistakes and from the mistakes that I've seen other people in my family make. For example, when I was a teenager I was a little bit wild and I saw the errors of my ways and I am not like that anymore. However, financially, I saw the mistakes that my mother made with money and vowed that I would never make the same mistakes, so my husband and I are trying to live our lives in a debt free manner.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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8 Apr 11
Hi dorannmwin,
I guess that when we do make mistakes then if we understand fully what has happened then we can deal with that, obviously if we are close to others like family then we can also see the mistakes that they make. I think that many teenagers are wild, we never seem to want to listen and we don't learn, well not until we are older anyway. I know where you are coming from on the money front. My mum had a load of debt, only due to what my dad left her in, i thought i would not make that mistake, yet i did, but i have learned since then, i now live a lie without debt, if i cannot afford to buy what i want then i don't get it, simple as that really. Debt can cause many problems, i got left in a load by my ex wife and i learned after her not to make that mistake again. Thankyou so very much for your response to this topic.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
That's a f*cked up marriage if you ask me. Getting married should be sacred and should be treated with importance. You have to know who you're marrying before you actually get married, not just for the reason that you're having a baby with another girl. Well, we all make bad decisions in life and that's one of yours so I'm guessing you've learned from it.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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12 Apr 11
Hi frontvisions101,
Yes my marriage was a really messed up one and certainly one that i am sure we both do regret. I agree that by getting married it should be a sacred thing, it should be important and it should be for the right reasons, but sometimes other events make different choices in our lives and sometimes we change what we really want. Until we try something we cannot learn. We never went into the marriage intending on failing, otherwise there would have been no point at all. But as we gave it a try it was obvious from early on that it was the wrong thing to do, but for my son's sake it was worth the try to try to keep a family together and under one roof, maybe feelings may have changed if we had tried harder, who knows? I certainly did make a mistake in getting married and it is a lesson that i have learnt from. I am more cautious on things now, but we do have to experience most things to learn from them. Thankyou so very much for your response to this topic.
@yna_18 (1)
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16 Apr 11
Learning something from your own experience will never be the same as learning it from other people but seeing other people make mistakes will help us avoid the things which we may not want to experience ourselves. I strongly believe that each person we meet is meant to teach us a lesson in life.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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16 Apr 11
Hi yna_18,
In a way i do agree with what you say. I mean, if we are to learn from our own experience then we have actually experienced the issue ourselves, whereas if we see others make mistakes then we can learn from that, but don't actually know what it is like. Also, maybe when we have an issue maybe we are not aware of it as much as we should be, where when seeing a problem with others it may be more obvious, i guess that if something is happening to us we may not want to see what is really there. Maybe as we meet different people we do learn from them, both good and bad things, but this is part of life really and we need to experience many different things. Thankyou so very much for your response to this topic.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
That's a f*cked up marriage if you ask me. Getting married should be sacred and should be treated with importance. You have to know who you're marrying before you actually get married, not just for the reason that you're having a baby with another girl. Well, we all make bad decisions in life and that's one of yours so I'm guessing you've learned from it.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
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6 Apr 11
Hi dlpierce,
I do agree with you in the fact that i also to agree that we learn best from our mistakes, until we have made a mistake we cannot learn from it. It certainly can be a valuable lesson in helping someone else to learn from a mistake that you yourself have made. Sometimes however others don't always want to listen and so they do end up learning the hard way, however they could also say that we are sticking our nose into their business even though we are trying to help. I guess sometimes people have to learn the hard way. Thankyou so very much for your response to this topic.
