tips to an awesome relationship

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There are some misconceptions of marriage and one is that just because a wedding might be easy that the marriage will be the same. Dream on. There is another misconception that sounds juvenile but so many people get hooked up on it: marriage is not always or even often easy. Love is a choice, not just a whimsical, flitty feeling; feelings aren't reliable, they come and go, are up and down and have little reasoning ability and has little chance of remaining always. A choice on the other hand is sojmething you have decided you want and therefore will fight for because what you choose to do is something you want. With those in mind and other things about marriage here are a few marriage tips (I don't profess to have a wonderful marriage but I am happier than I have ever been in it -I've been married to my amazing husband for 7 1/2 yrs- and will almost for no reason even let it go. 1. DO go to be angry, DON'T go to bed without forgiveness and NEVER think whether you do or don't do either that defines if you have a good marriage, different people, different feelings and dif. choices. -When your significant other makes you mad you can forgive them (because you do not hate THE PERSON that did the thing that made you mad) and still be angry about what they did so stew and be angry but get over it eventually -sooner the better- just don't deny you have feelings, it's never good if you do. 2. live the saying, "the grace we are given in marriage is that both people never fall out of love at the same time". Okay, maybe sometimes they seem to, but one does not need to tell their spouse they don't love them the second they lose the feeling. Go on for a while, almost definitely the feeling will pass (remember, it's just a feeling). Do you honestly think your partner always does or even has reason to always love you without choosing to do so? That sounds like settling for less if you listen to this advice but it's not, it's just using your head and maybe a little of your heart even if you don't feel like you are. 3. a lot of the things you found quirky and cute about your partner before marriage or at the beginning of the relationship now are annoying and maybe even infuriate you. Get over it, you were in love with it first so maybe it's seriously best to CHOOSE to be in love with their actions now... or at least ignore them if you can't love the actions anymore. You are annoying too. 4. Always think that divorce is never an option -without infidelity or beating or something like that. It will be surprising how much easier your relationship is when you don't give yourself an out. 5. think when you're unbelievably mad at your spouse or so sick of your relationship and consider leaving them what life would be like without them. and since you're mad it's easy to think it would be easier but would it? I have issues so often -well, sometimes- I dream that my husband stops loving me or forgets about me and leaves me (sometimes he's only my boyfriend in my dreams but...). I feel like I am missing a huge part of me without him and in my dream I feel so unbelievably horrible and I tell him we belong together but he doesn't pay any attention because he doesn't care about me in my dream. I often wake up crying and hysterical. I am not the clingy, quiet one in our relationship in real life, it's maybe the other way around (not clingy but he's quiet) but still, that's how I would feel. How would you feel without them? Be honest? If you can even fathom (when you look beyond your anger) that life without them would suck stop considering leaving. 6. seriously, it's not stupid and corny to think that the two in a marriage or relationship make one whole, it's true.it's not just something the minister says at weddings, he's right. If you consider the things doing the things that are deemed "bad" in a relationship think if your partner would like that you're doing that to them since they are attached to you to make the whole. if you consider that half of you is missing without them you won't want to ever be without them. these sound basic, like something everyone knows but they don't apply to you because your relationship is much more complex than my dumb advice but that's not true, these apply at all times. Choose to love each other like you deserve, you'll be the better for it.