Do you prefer to meet your ex or not even you are in a relationship already?

I know what I did is very wrong. It's just that He became my ex bf when I was in high school year. He was my first bf when my Auntie said that I'm allowed to have a boyfriend. I just broke up with him when my Auntie one night after my school said that I'm not more allowed to have a boyfriend we are just 1 week in relationship during that time and I just immediately broke up with him the very next day. That time I still don't know how to handle relationship better that's why I let him go very easily.He cry a river after and He almost didn't attend our mass before the graduation. I had a good times with him and with His family. His family respected me and so as He so much. That's why I accepted his invitation he also said that his family missed mo so much. I told Him i'm married with 2 kids. And I just came there because of my friendship with him and with his family and give respect for his parents for that they do not forget me as their son's ex girlfriend. My husband only thinks of me negatives things and jealousy like that because He used to do cheating on his ex gf's before. He is afraid that I will do that also. He is my 2nd boyfriend after him. He is 39yrs old and I'm only getting 26 this june. On my 5 years of marriage with him he never allowed me to attend parties or go anywhere. My world only runs in my work, house and market He didn't allow me even once. And he also gets angry even if visiting my relatives. One time I remember I am doing a preparation for my son's baptism and sending invitations to my relatives and friends, I also Did registration at the church that very the same day after my work that's why I came home late. He hurt me physically and shouted at me very bad. I just cry and cry till the morning while watching my baby. I felt very trapped. Oh my God!! and many more reasons my dear. So many to tell Jbrooks0127 I hope you understand. For me he is unfair and im still adjusting with his atitude. Correction!! if he values me he would not hurt me and saying stupids words at me! and after that he will just say sorry?! and will very sweet then? Is that the meaning of valuing wives?

I know what I did is very wrong. It's just that He became my ex bf when I was in high school year. He was my first bf when my Auntie said that I'm allowed to have a boyfriend. I just broke up with him when my Auntie one night after my school said that I'm not more allowed to have a boyfriend we are just 1 week in relationship during that time and I just immediately broke up with him the very next day. That time I still don't know how to handle relationship better that's why I let him go very easily.He cry a river after and He almost didn't attend our mass before the graduation. I had a good times with him and with His family. His family respected me and so as He so much. That's why I accepted his invitation he also said that his family missed mo so much. I told Him i'm married with 2 kids. And I just came there because of my friendship with him and with his family and give respect for his parents for that they do not forget me as their son's ex girlfriend. My husband only thinks of me negatives things and jealousy like that because He used to do cheating on his ex gf's before. He is afraid that I will do that also. He is my 2nd boyfriend after him. He is 39yrs old and I'm only getting 26 this june. On my 5 years of marriage with him he never allowed me to attend parties or go anywhere. My world only runs in my work, house and market He didn't allow me even once. And he also gets angry even if visiting my relatives. One time I remember I am doing a preparation for my son's baptism and sending invitations to my relatives and friends, I also Did registration at the church that very the same day after my work that's why I came home late. He hurt me physically and shouted at me very bad. I just cry and cry till the morning while watching my baby. I felt very trapped. Oh my God!! and many more reasons my dear. So many to tell Jbrooks0127 I hope you understand. For me he is unfair and im still adjusting with his atitude. Correction!! if he values me he would not hurt me and saying stupids words at me! and after that he will just say sorry?! and will very sweet then? Is that the meaning of valuing wives?

Ahhh Thereza I think I do understand much better now. Thank you for your explanation and it does help me know where you are now. It would seem from your explanation that you have a very controlling husband. That is not at all a good thing for you. My current wife, I say that because she is now my third wife, had the very same problem with her first husband. She put up with that kind of control for many years. It sounds so much like what you are going through. Over that time his control made her feel less of a person and she developed self esteem problems that kept her from realizing she deserved better. His control consisted only of verbal abuse, no physical abuse involved, but it was almost as bad. Finally she had no choice. She took their child and left him and went back to live with her mother in another state. And because that really didn't complete the break, as he knew where she was, she moved across country so he had no idea where she was. It proved to be the very best thing she could do for both her daughter and herself. It is one thing when a husband is worried that you may not be faithful but quite another to treat you in the manor he does. In no way does he deserve you. There is no excuse for the kind of control you talk about. Especially attempting to control access to your own family. If he truly valued you he would never treat you this way. He would give you his trust until you proved you didn't deserve it. It is such a shame that your Anntie made you give up that first boyfriend. It sounds like he truly cared for you and it was a big loss for him. It also sounds like a big loss for you because you may very well have ended up married to him and not had to endure what you are going through now. Unfortunately no one can tell you exactly what to do. If I were your close friend I would try my best to tell you to get away from this person you call a husband and begin living again. But I do not know all of it so I will not go that far. You must look at your life and ask yourself what you really need to do. Separation is never an easy thing but there are times that it is the only thing. Your future demands that you pay attention to what is good for you. It really has little to do with meeting your first boyfriend but everything to do with how you are living now. Please think long and hard about this and start planning how you can get out. That is what my wife did and it took all that planning to get her to see it could and should be done. You do not deserve to be treated this way. Please take care of yourself first. It is clear your husband will not.

even how much effort i'll give or i make his heart and mind keeps close at it.

For me, once get disappointed how much I love him it can't change my opinion on him. Better to kill those feel before it killing me.

thank you for your comment. but sometimes dear, past are have something to do with the present. I agree that present is much important. But in other aspects if you dont learned from your past I think you cannot live good in your present. Thank you! enjoy mylotting!!

Of course i will do attend with him and proudly present him to my friends and even my ex family if I can. Because he always no time for me, And if I am starting a discussion about this such things he automatically gets angry.