How personal should a bus driver be with me?
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
April 8, 2011 1:37pm CST
This morning, my daughter's school bus was waiting outside. I looked to my screen door, and I did not realize that her school bus was out there already. And so early at that!
So I had to quickly grab everything to put on to head outside with my daughter. When we got to the bus, and as she was getting on the bus, her bus driver, asked me if I was pregnant. She asked me this in front of everyone that was on the school bus. Including the bus monitor too. My daughter attends Head Start School, and there are young children on her school bus. I thought that the bus driver was totally out of line to ask me this personal question out loud in front of everyone that is on the school bus. I was very shocked! Being that I was in a rush, I did not really know how to respond, so I just told her flat out, "No". Even if I am pregnant, that is my business. I am a grown woman and I am married. If I look pregnant, that still is not her place to ask me this. Why does she care anyway? What is it to her? She is only my daughter's bus driver. She has been rude to me and my daughter in the past, and I have let that slide. Now here she goes with asking me if I am pregnant. So, I am really thinking that if she messes up again, I will have no choice but to report her.
So I had to quickly grab everything to put on to head outside with my daughter. When we got to the bus, and as she was getting on the bus, her bus driver, asked me if I was pregnant. She asked me this in front of everyone that was on the school bus. Including the bus monitor too. My daughter attends Head Start School, and there are young children on her school bus. I thought that the bus driver was totally out of line to ask me this personal question out loud in front of everyone that is on the school bus. I was very shocked! Being that I was in a rush, I did not really know how to respond, so I just told her flat out, "No". Even if I am pregnant, that is my business. I am a grown woman and I am married. If I look pregnant, that still is not her place to ask me this. Why does she care anyway? What is it to her? She is only my daughter's bus driver. She has been rude to me and my daughter in the past, and I have let that slide. Now here she goes with asking me if I am pregnant. So, I am really thinking that if she messes up again, I will have no choice but to report her.9 people like this
18 responses
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
hello cream,
If she's done this from the past,it might be her personality (rude)
You are right,if you are pregnant,it's your business and not her or anyone.
Why can't she respect anyone's privacy?
or yes,is she messing up again.(that's so bad)
happy weekend and keep a smile
happy weekend and keep a smile
@AmbiePam (92872)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Don't report her. I guarantee you that either your daughter or another kid on that bus told the driver you were pregnant. I remember riding the bus. Kids would make stuff about their parents and then tell the bus driver. For instance, Kid A would tell Kid B that their mom was pregnant (even if she wasn't). So Kid B, even though it isn't their mother, would go tell the bus driver that Kid A's mom is pregnant. I promise you it is something like that. And it's just too bad the bus driver believed it without thinking maybe it wasn't true.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Hi. AmbiePam. The truth is I am not pregnant at all. I know that my daughter did not say anything like this to the kids on her bus. This was probably something that her bus driver wanted to ask me for a while now. And, my daughter is very quiet, she does not even know what the word pregnant means. I doubt that very much. She probably knows what having a baby in the stomach looks like though. I know that my daughter did not say anything to anyone on this bus. Her bus driver is just the one that asked this question herself. I would not be surprised if her and the bus monitor was talking amongst themselves about me being pregnant.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (92872)
• United States
8 Apr 11
I would really really suggest you ask her point blank why she asked you that question. If she doesn't have a good reason, then by all means report her if you think it is best. But before you do anything, there might be a simple reason. It's just important to make sure why she said what she said before maybe getting her in trouble.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Hi. AmbiePam. I feel what you are saying. I was not planning on reporting her right now. If she gets out of line with me again that is very inappropriate, then I will report her. I don't think there is any other reason for her to ask me this question, except but to be nosy. I have already gathered this about her from the start. All that she and the bus monitor just does is talk about people and issues. I hear them every time that they come to pick up my daughter in the mornings. So, I know that he asking me if I was pregnant was not just a simple question. She was trying to be nosy. That's what...
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 Apr 11
That is a highly personal question - and one that can be offensive as well. I don't think it is right for anyone to ask that unless they are almost certain that the person is, and even then they need to tread carefully with asking. Asking in front of a bunch of people like that was also not right. Has this same bus monitor been there when the bus driver has been rude to you in the past?
2 people like this
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
10 Apr 11
You say she had been rude to you in the past, might be by nature she is like that, more over why should she ask you, a married woman can be pregnant, she knew it by looking at your belly, there is no reason, why should she ask you, it is never decent, i disapprove this kind of behavior..
Thanks for sharing
Enjoy life to fullest. Cheers.
BE HAPPY ALWAYS.
Professor ‘Bhuwan’. .
2 people like this
@neenie (343)
• United States
9 Apr 11
I guess I'm missing the point. It's no fun being asked if you're pregnant when you're not.. I've had that happen before! But I guess I just don't see how she was being rude. Being pregnant is a wonderful thing and something you usually like to share with people. I really don't think I would mind if someone asked me that and I guess I just don't see it as rude.
I don't know, other people seem to agree with you so maybe I'm in the minority here..
2 people like this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
9 Apr 11
Hi. neenie. It is like the old saying goes, "It is not what you say, but how you say it." It is nothing wrong with her asking me if I was pregnant. It was just wrong in the way that she has asked me. It was done right in front of her entire bus load, plus the bus monitor was on the bus too. I thought that this was very inappropriate. Her job is to take my daughter to school safely and that is all. I don't feel that it is her business of whether or not I am carrying a child or not. What if I was pregnant and I wanted it to be a surprise?
Well, I guess it would not be, being that she opened her mouth about it so loudly and so fast.
Well, I guess it would not be, being that she opened her mouth about it so loudly and so fast.1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
9 Apr 11
Hi. neenie. I just feel that young kids don't need to hear a bus driver mention to a mother about her being pregnant. A bus driver is only that, a bus driver. What she does behind closed doors is her business, but when she talks openly in front of others, it then becomes their business now. If she wanted to know if I was pregnant or not, she could have asked me this question in private. It should be done away from the eyes and the ears of others.
@neenie (343)
• United States
9 Apr 11
Yeah, I guess I wasn't there and didn't know how awkward it would be. I thought everyone was getting upset that she asked you if you were pregnant. I see where you are coming from now.. it sounds like she might have done it just to be rude now.
2 people like this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
8 Apr 11
seriously? has she always been like this? wjhen someone that you dont know well comes up to you and says that, it is just rude. a friend of my parents asked me that when she saw me in the store. i have irritable bowel syndrome and am bloated 95% of the time, but i didnt want to explain to her because i dont know her that well. write down all the insidences that have happened with this bus driver so you have something to back up your story (dates, times, etc).
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Apr 11
hiucream97 You are so right, she had no right to ask such a thing of you whether you were or were not. first it is none of her business and second she is rude in suggesting without actually saying it you are fat. I would indeed report her. thats a very personal question that only a very close relative or friend has any right to ask, surely not your daughter's school bus driver.Yes do report her as she is one person who evidently has no idea of what is rude. I have always had a problem with my weight. One day I was in my fifties and overweight. I came out of the grocery store and a woman about forty stopped me. She said" oh my dear I have some of the prettiest maternity clothes my daughter no longer needs. let me get them ". I was shocked and just yelled out,{" Iam not pregnant for Gods sakes. I am 51 so keep your damned clothes." "Oh my I am sorry'" and she ran to her car and drove off. I was just plain furious. HOw dare she assume I was pregnant and how dare she offer old clothes to an utter stranger.Cream when utter strangers or even people that are casual acquaintances ask such personal questions,you should report them. that is rudeness in the extreme.
acquaintances ask such personal questions,you should report them. that is rudeness in the extreme.2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Apr 11
i would report her right now. and insist on her transfer as she will get worse as time goes on. after my 4th child it took me so long to loose the weight. my daughter was 6mths when we were out walking and my oldest daughters friend, they were 8yrs saw us and asked her if her mom (me) was having another baby
even tho they were so young, it really hurt my feelings. 
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
8 Apr 11
I think that a bus driver should be courteous and polite to each and every passenger. After all the bus driver is in public service. Anything further than that is not being respectful to the job or to the passenger.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Yeah that is not only disrespectful but it is rude too. Did she even offer an apology. It is although not nice that some people assume that some women are pregnant at times but it is usually common that they offer an apology after.
If she gets out of line again I would definitely say something to her directly and definitely report. It is terrible these days where as some adults do not measure their words appropriately while in ear length to children.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
8 Apr 11
That is a very personal question. Especially if she is not close to you it's out of line for her to ask such a thing. She seems to be a very outspoken person if she's asked you this and has been rude before. Like you said if she says something else or implies anything that is not her concern you should say something. Some people just don't seem to dechiper when it's o.k. to ask something and when it's not.
2 people like this
@martha0430 (211)
• Philippines
9 Apr 11
that was so rude! but i must admit that there are people who are like that =( its just that you are encountering one of them. maybe if she gone below the belt, you must report her to know what are her mistakes and that she is doing the wrong things. just for her to be disciplined and learn from her mistakes.
2 people like this
@dlemza (47)
• South Africa
9 Apr 11
The bus driver sound like someone lacking intelligence. Just the way she asked you doesn't show her as complete formation up stairs. It seem ignorance is also playing its role in her life. Or maybe she was just trying to make for the things she has done to you, and still doing it wrong. To keep the peace, I think you can make up some time to talk to her in person, and try to reconcile. She nows what she has done to you, and you know too. So, to see where it heading to. Take it up with her in a polite manner, she might just let you into her mind, than yoo will work well togethr for a very long time.
2 people like this
@clrumfelt (5490)
• United States
9 Apr 11
I think you are making too much of this. Some people lack social graces, but that doesn't mean they are saying personal things with malice, it may only be because they lack a sense of what is appropriate to say. If this is the worst problem you have with your kid's bus driver, I say you are pretty fortunate. You know your child will have a safe ride to school. You could do a lot worse, so don't sweat the small stuff.
@clrumfelt (5490)
• United States
10 Apr 11
If it will make you feel better, I suppose you should stand up for yourself and try to get the driver fired. In the meantime be praying for a better driver because you don't know what kind of person may take the job next. However, if she keeps her job in spite of you, keep in mind your daughter will still have to ride her bus unless you decide to take her to school yourself.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
9 Apr 11
Hi. clrumfelt. I feel that I am not making too much of anything at all. I am too nice to her. This woman has been rude to me and to my child many days. And what do I do. Treat her with nothing but kindness! I have let her slide many times, when I could have cursed her azz straight out. But I didn't. I stayed humble and remained calm. I am sorry to say that I can't say the same thing about some of these other parents out there that will flip out in a heartbeat over small matters as these. So, this is an issue that I have with her. She is too damn bold and her boldness is about to make her lose her job!
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
10 Apr 11
Could it be there is some misunderstanding? She could be concern for you seeing you rushing your daughter and thought it is not good for pregnant woman. Afterall, the driver is a she, not a man. If it is a man, I think it may not be really appropriate of him to ask such personal questions but she is a woman. I think it could be out of concern.
@celticeagle (167071)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Apr 11
Sometimes people say things just off the cuff because they don't know what to say. Just a 'good morning' would have been nice. I think that question can be very rude for alot of people. Especially when the answer is 'no'. I would look this go but if anything else were to happen I would be having a talk with someone.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (167071)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Apr 11
There are manners and what is expected. Hopefully both have learned something.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
12 Apr 11
I personally think that, that question should never be asked. I don't think that the response to that could never ever be good.
Maybe it's just because I'm a guy, but I think it's not appropriate for a woman to ask that question too.
I think unless somebody declares that she is pregnant, that question shouldn't be asked.
