wanting to be with someone you shouldn't....?
By misc11
@misc11 (384)
United States
April 12, 2011 11:43am CST
have you ever been with someone you know you love but you also know you shouldn't and that the person is just not good for you? I have been with my bf for over a year now and I love him more than anything but I also know I shouldn't be with him but I just can't seem to get away from him. I am not dependent on him at all, but I just love him. My gut tells me it is not right because we had so many ups and downs but my heart wants to be with him. What to do in a situation like this?
3 people like this
7 responses
@Rapuncille (597)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
It's either you give up on him or prove your gut wrong. You can't go on with the two. If you really want to be with him, think of the ups and downs as just trials that you'll soon surpass. You'll have to work both ways. Would you mind if i may ask why do you think he is not worthy of you and you shouldn't be with him?
@misc11 (384)
• United States
12 Apr 11
It bothers me that I have these doubts...a lot. He has lied a lot in the past, and I think he puts too much of his happiness on me. He says he would die if he wasn't with me and doesn't want to move on with his career unless it is with me, and I don't want this kind of pressure. I think he should just want to do it for himself. I know that sounds harsh, but that is the only thing wrong. He is perfect in every other way, but I just want to know he would be okay without me. I also don't like how he can be insecure and wants me to reaffirm I will always be there. Thanks for your advice.
@Rapuncille (597)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
I kinda picture already what you are saying. Do you think you'll be able to patch up the trust issue and forget all the lies he has done in the past? Have you told him that his being a bit clingy and insecure soffocate you in a way? Have you told him that you want someone who would regard you as important but will not depend too much on you cause it is a bit draining?
If you have tried talking to him regarding these issues and you cannot find a way to resolve them; then, i guess that you need to do lots and lots of reconsidering. Perhaps loving him and him loving you too much making you literally his life is indeed not healthy for the both of you.
@choconut (297)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
depends on why you shouldn't be together, if it were like my case, wherein my family doesn't approved of him, yeah i let him go.. I always held unto my family, because they will be the only one i could hold unto to the end of my life. My family always comes first, besides there are so many guys around why should i hold unto one when he's not being approved by my family. And why should i be with him when everything around us doesn't seem to fit. I believe that if he is the right one for you whatever happens your everything will fit in to the right place, right time and right everything. Though there is an up and downs in a relationship, you will always find it perfect.
So what is your situation?
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
I can say that,yes,it happens in me once.
I keep and stay in a relationship hoping that it will last for a lifetime.
I know that i have to moved on,but i keep my fight hoping for a better result.
I love someone when i knew i shouldn't,and i should let go.
Until my heart get's tired of loving that person and free myself.
Now i am free and i am more happy with my life.
Sometimes we have to hurt to realized that it's not worth fighting for.
have a great day
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
13 Apr 11
We caan't always control our feelings for someone. Our heads will tell us to keep our distance but our hearts may have other ideas. it is a choice we have to make to get involved with someone. We have to be sure of what we really want. @keishairvin (49)
• United States
12 Apr 11
Follow your heart. I experience being with someone I know what's for me and he really loved me but I let our relationship go, wished I hadn't. Think about it long and hard before you make any decision your future with him. Best of Luck!!
@lyamsitiy (104)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Why do you think you shouldn't be with him? is it because you have many ups and downs? Almost all relationships have ups and down. I don't see the reason why you shouldn't be with him but no matter what your reasons if you feel that you shouldn't be with him then its best that you end it now that make it lasts even longer. It will only make matters worst over time.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
12 Apr 11
you should listen to your heart. at least this is what I would do. this it's all in a relationship...managing to get over those ups and downs and making the relationship work. we are different so it's normal to have arguments.think about it well...if you think he deserves than go for it
