Always getting hurt. I think I am cursed.
By queenlove
@queenlove (495)
United States
April 12, 2011 1:32pm CST
First, my kids dad left me for someone else while I was pregnant with our 3rd baby! Then I met someone else who I was with for 12 years, and he passed away last year at age 33. I am still not yet over losing him. I grieve daily. Then, about 6 months ago I met someone new. I care for him a lot but he is completely emotionless. He does everything in the world for me, but claims he is not in love, does not want a relationship and NEVER will want one either.
However, he is the only one that is there for me everytime I need him. I am torn because I don't know if he is worth holding onto or if I should let him go. He is the first man I have met in so long that is respectful, but he doesnt want a commitment. :(
I dont know what to do.
2 people like this
8 responses
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
16 Apr 11
Hi Sweetie, you should be strong enough, Jesus is with you, in the soul of your little saint angels. You must be strong to love them and encourage them in life. Don´t worry about your friend. Don´t let him take your inner peace. If there´s love between both of you... love will triumph, if there´s not true love (the one you need to live) let him help you, with your chores, and so on... and don´t get emotionally involved deeper.
You are the most important thing in the whole universe for your little angels. Love them first of all, and then love you after them. And if there´s a little space for anyone else in your heart, share a little of what left. First of all your angels and you!!
Blessings!...
Dainy
@arunadas (111)
• India
13 Apr 11
i think he is the best friend you have and you have to keep that way too because that is what he wants - at least for now. Give it some time maybe he will change his mind maybe he wont but never give up the wonderful friendship you share. Women can have male buddies you know without having to be physically involved give it a try :) he already sounds like 4 am buddy so keep him as a friend. All the best and may you find what you are looking for :)
@queenlove (495)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Yeah, hes not really a 4am buddy because it is much more than that. He even gave me a car to drive. He is really good to me, but he is a flirt and player. I hate it.
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
13 Apr 11
Keep him as a friend but don't get too emotional over someone who can't or won't love you. You want more but he doesn't so find someone you can have a future with. You'll be happier in the long run don't waste your precious time going after a man that doesn't want you.
1 person likes this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Thank you. This does make a lot of sense. I guess I am just lonely :(
@Jerrychona1 (8)
•
13 Apr 11
if u think he don't want to commit in a relationship why would he be there for u? maybe he is still in the state of confusion...or just weighing things of how his and your life being together, or his afraid that in the future u would compare him to your previous loved ones.He is in the stage of courting, and knowing you more...jst give time and space:(
1 person likes this
@choconut (297)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
maybe he's afraid of commitment. my stand in this is you hold unto him but don't expect much in return. Be grateful that he's always there for you every time you need him, and he does things which is good for you. Let him be him, don't force him anything that he's not comfortable with, it'll only break your wonderful friendship. I believe that's more important that having a relationship wherein he could hurt you.. Maybe this is God's way of showing you that you are being loved, you don't need to go into a relationship to feel that you are loved, you could easily see and feel it with your friends (",) God bless (",)
1 person likes this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Thank you. This makes a lot of sense to me. I do value his friendship as well as everything he does for me. I just wish that he cared.
@keishairvin (49)
• United States
12 Apr 11
Give it some time and see how things go. It seem like he has his guard up as well and have probably experienced some form of hurt of another woman before but do let that bother you just play your cards right and I'm sure things will turn out find.
1 person likes this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
20 Apr 11
This is true. I am new to this whole dating thing. I need to get used to all of this. I dont do too well with the whole "Friends with Benefits" thing.
@ruperto (1552)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
Interesting.
It seems we all want to love and to be loved in the way we see fit. Perhaps we can only make the most of what we have.
Perhaps one could learn more about one's partner: what makes him tick? Perhaps from there one can find new ways to make the relationship grow ... for instance, what might be that which he finds unique in you? (that he finds so attractive?)
What do you think ?
1 person likes this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
20 Apr 11
He never expresses feelings at all. He acts as if he don't care. He does nice things for me all the time, then tells me this is not what he wants. he tells me to follow his words and not his actions. Its funny, I thought actions speak louder than words.
@buttheadface932 (708)
• United States
6 Jan 16
Oh my poor queenlove, I am so sorry for your grief and pain!! *hugs*
