Upbringing has an impact in developing a person’s confidence or in destroying it

I believe the way we are brought up in the world instills the values we need to have confidence in life to follow our dreams and our hearts. I don't think that upbringing motivates destruction. We have a way of learning that along the way.

I have read that there are many variables that affect a person´s behaviour. There is, of course, the pack the person is born with (personality, nature, genes, all that). But even so, everyone develops better in a good environment. It´s not just human beings: plants need good soil and water and animals need more things but affection is one of them. I am sorry that there are so many children who lack the contitions to grow well. From my experience it is not lack of money, but lack of love.

Yes, I do agree with you on that. A child that is carefully nurtured during the developing years of his life has the tendency to grow as a confident person compared to that who was ignored or abandoned during the formative years. The latter tends to grow as irresponsible if not lost individual. Plus, children who were properly supervised when they were young develop a personality which is more upright than the ones who aren't.

Kalaji I agree with you fully, how we bring up our kids has a great role on his/her future life, if we give correct guidance, love, affection, we get back them multiple times, but i know many parents who have no time for kids, these kids fall in wrong track usually, they dishonor the parents, no wonder!!! Thanks for sharing HAPPY EASTER Happy posting, cheers. Namastey. Kalyani

partly yes. psychologists say the difference between "nature" and "nurture". nature being the influences from soroundings, media, etc. and nurture being how their parents (or family), or how the child was brought up. these two factors ma affect a person's well-being and/or behaviour. i think that we couldn't just single out the type of upbringing as an influence to a personality. a child might have been brought up in a perfect family. but with consideration to its environment outside the family, it may not be safe to assume that s/he will grow up as a good person.

Of course, the behavior of someone who has grown most influenced how the upbringing or environment in which he lived, a good upbringing will bring a positive thing and a bad upbringing will bring negative results. But for certain cases this does not apply and it depends on the indivindual person.

Hi Kala! I agree with you that if a child gets lots of love and care from his/her parents and near and dear ones, it makes him confident and happy and when he grows up he gets to know the importance of 'caring. However, if a child is neglected or not taken care of properly, s/he feels the pinch of it, when s/he grows up. I was the first child in my joint family and I got lots of care and love from my paternal uncles and aunt and grand father, when I was growing up and I feel blessed to got heir love and affection.

It's true that what we put into our children is what we'll get out of them. There are things called generational curses that we pass on to our children because we don't, for whatever reasons, overcome them in ourselves. They are handed down from generation to generation until they're broken off. There comes a time, however, when, as an adult, you realize that you've been caught up in this cycle and that you have a choice. At that point, you have a choice to make--you either work to break that curse off and to overcome the damage that was done and make things better for yourself and your next generations (children & grandchildren), or you continue in that thing the same way the generation before you did. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6159570/discipline_and_our_children.html

Each of us learns confidence from our parents, siblings and friends at school. The strongest lessons are the painful ones. If we get pain from doing something, then the next time we come to do it, it is not so easy because we have fear or anxiety. If the pain is physical, it tends to be forgotten consciously, but the subconscious mind doesn't forget, and will produce fear without us realizing why we are afraid. This is called a phobia and our confidence then gets lower and lower because we cannot understand the roots of the problem. Growing up through painful situations is nearly always at the root of our problems. It doesn't necessarily make a difference if we have loving parents or not, but they can help. As a therapist I have met many people who have no confidence, yet have had good upbringing and loving parents. So then I look for the painful situations that the person has had in life, and helped bring it back into memory. _Derek

Hi kalav, Thank you for starting such a good discussion. I wish that all parents everywhere could read it. So many think that only material things matter, but a lot of children have all the material things they could ever want, and are still crying out for love, affection and appreciation. The formative years are so important and what they learn here stays with them a lifetime. Blessings.

Kala I agree with you on this point and one good example is my husband...he got tremendous love from his parents(he does not remember he ever got a small firing from his parents for any reason)with the result he he has a generous heart and gives so much love to our children that sometimes I get surprised....this makes me think that what he received has given back in return.

Yes kala, it is really sad ! There are some parents who do not realise the importance of giving attention and love to their children during growing years instead they provide comfort and luxury and think that is enough. Later, when things go drastically wrong they look elsewhere for comfort and blame others for their plight!I have seen so many such cases where children have felt miserable and left home...

Despite of genes, yes environment and earlier education and treatment will have an important impact when they grow older. But sometimes, genes play a big part despite of good upbringing and environment. I guess, in the mental department, we cannot guess. We can only try our best.

I think the parents are really important to not mess a kid's entire life, there are things that should never be said or done as the child might never really recover.

I agree wholeheartedly that upbringing has a huge impact on a person’s self-esteem. I believe that children have naturally high self-confidence and think they are very clever and terribly important and it is outside influences that can hinder that healthy sense of self. Personality is partly inherited I guess but parental influence should not be underestimated as it is the biggest impact on anyone’s life is. I speak from mine and my sister’s experiences with emotionally abusive parents who inadvertently almost destroyed our self-confidence.

I grew up in a situation where I was verbally abused and was not nutured the way i should of! My dad ia jerk and my mom was to busy to trying to keep my dad happy! So as an adult I have been struggled greatly with my confidence! It has taken years to get it to were it is today! I was loved and nutrued better I would not of been struggling like I have been! There is still room for impovement! Upbringing has a lot to do with developing a person's confidence or destroying it! No doubt! I have been there!

hello kalav, This is a big debate/issues with parents and society. When a kid grows and become a bully,the society judge or pointing directly their fingers to parents and family,accusing and judging how bad the upbringing the child has. Or how irresponsible the parents for not teaching the kid/s good moral values blah blah. No parents ever wanted to bring a kid who's going to be a society problem,or law breaker or a misconduct (unless the parents are insane) The judgmental society jumping into conclusions ,seems they are a perfect/righteous one. Not knowing that the society has a great impact with kids upbringing and behavior changes/influences. They say,no matter how bad the surroundings is,if the kid has a good value or having tight family/good moral values,can't be influenced. I strongly opposed...i knew few family of good people,bringing their kids into a perfect mold...but somehow failed in the end. So,we can not totally blame the parents when kids turn bad...everyone has free will...to decide...which way to follow. A parents strict guidance is not enough...but the person itself needs to be firm what path to follow in his/her life. Just my opinion dear

Kalaji I think a child is effected by the behavior of his/her family members and next the neighbors and relations. The mind is immatured no doubt but very sensitive, so we must be very careful They will show good behavior if get good only.. Thanks for sharing Enjoy life to fullest. Cheers. BE HAPPY ALWAYS. Professor ‘*^Bhuwan^*’. .

How we raise our kids has an effect on their development. If a child grows up in a violent household, he most likely will grow up to be dysfunctional as well. As parents, we have the power to mold our children to become well-rounded person. They tend to imitate what they see in us. We must teach them by being good role models.

Yes nurturing a child is important in his formative years and nature also plays an important role in their development. most childrem needs the time and care of their guardian to mold their upmost potencials.