spoiled siblings
@angelwithkids (1256)
United States
April 13, 2011 9:30am CST
i'm the oldest of two sisters. due to circumstances, the youngest sister is living with me along with her son and our mother. she works part time, unless someone is on vacation that she'll have more hours. our mother basically takes care of her child even when she's at home. it's getting annoying! mom just had a double hernia surgery 3 weeks ago and isn't recovering well. everytime my nephew acts up, it's mom that has to discipline him. there's been a few times where i've had to step in and discipline him, i can see when she's in pain and can't do it. i've tried to use my own parenting skills on the boy, but he's just being a turd. he gets loud and whines about everything. if anyone wants to watch tv that doesn't involve nick jr or disney, he cries and throws a temper till he gets his way. when i tell him to quit, he's not getting his way, he'll run outside into the street. when my sister is here, she'll just sit on the couch and ignore him or if she does pay attention to him, she'll whine worse than he does. i can see where my mother has had enough but won't give her hard dose of reality and let them leave. my husband is ready to kick out the sister and nephew, but won't because he knows mom will follow. what to do?????
1 person likes this
1 response
@desteny114 (886)
• United States
14 Apr 11
I know it must be really frustrating since they are in your house with your family but it is not your responsibility to have them there. But if you can to try to work things out so they can stay then you should talk to your sister about how your mother can't be a grandma and mother to her grandson all the time because she is ill and that she has to take care of her kid when she is home. It sounds like your nephew is trying to get the attention that he is lacking from his mom and since you don’t mention his dad that is another thing that might be making him act that way. The best thing is for your sister to assume her responsibility and be there for her kid and try to move out in good terms on her own because when there is more than one family in a house it hardly ever work. She can try talking to him to get to the root of the problem and being with him all the time that she can. But in my personal experience it would be better for her to move out and take care of her kid on her own and just talk to your mom and convince her that she should let her be alone with her kid because that is what they need. If you mother wants she could babysit for her when she is working but at the end of the day the kid will go home with his mom and not be around for your mom to take care of him. Good luck hope that I might be of some help to you. 
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
14 Apr 11
yes. i keep reminding myself that part of his behaviour is to get my sister's attention. the other part, they have allowed him to get anything he wants (despite the cost). so now he thinks, that whatever he says or does, is ok. he's only 4yrs old. i can just imagine what he'll be like in 2 years let alone 10! i get frustrated because a lot of this could have been avoided it if they had been firmer. but my mother was not like that when we were growing up, so i keep asking myself....where did my mother go???? the things he do, if we did, we'd been beat!! trying to get my mother to realize that my sister needs to be left alone, is like talking to a brick wall. she's so afraid that my sister will do something wrong and he'll end up hurt. she's got to grow up and learn just the way my other sister and i did. that's part of being a parent. i try not to resent the attention my mother gives to him and not to the other grandkids. starting next year, we'll have graduates for 3 years in a row. you would think she would want to spend the time with them while theyre still at home. once they graduate, they won't want to do anything with her. i guess, i just worry too much about the things i can't control. it'll be her loss, not mine. i just know, when the time comes, i'll be like my grandmother, love all grandkids the same and realize that each one is different. :) she was the best.
1 person likes this
@desteny114 (886)
• United States
15 Apr 11
Grandmas are a little crazy well not all because my grandma says she loves all her grand kids alike but that is not true. I think that your mom is how she is with her grandson because maybe she was with your sister and him since he was a little baby and she has been there more than your sister. So your mom thinks in a way that he is hers and your sisters and it happen and that is why she is so scared of letting him go. It might be hard for your mom to understand but not difficult because what if your sister gets married to someone that might not want your mom with them. Maybe separating your mom from your nephew a little at a time might help and he is four so there is a big chance to change him just by reminding everyone that he is the kid and not he those not know what is best for him only an adult knows. I know that sometimes its easier to give kids a candy when they cry instead of finding out what’s wrong or to make them know that they are not getting what they want just by crying.
