Breaking Up Over Text Message--What has Technology Done to Relationships?

I was in a relationship seven months ago and while I loved the man, I had had enough of his evasiveness and inability to commit. After a comment he had made to me, I resolved to break it off, he usually called me Fridays for our weekend plans. That Friday happened to be his birthday and because it was a big one (50!), I was going to wait until the following day to break it off. He didn't call, so I figured he was busy and I was too. By the following weekend, I still hadn't heard from him and because he had done this before I figured we were broken up. To me, that was even worse than a text message because you're left in limbo.

I think it is great that he even texted! My ex just disappeared, It would have helped if he had just written what this guy did! Me? I would break up face to face unless I feared he would hit me , then I would just text him.

Wow! Such guts! I don't think he is man enough for you. Texting you to break up is not formal, we not unless you got together through texting too. He should at least call you up and discuss the problem. Well, I don't mean you discuss to reconcile. But while writing my opinion, I though, how about those who got together through the chat rooms of the internet. Many didn't see face to face, so if in case they got bored with each other, will they just chat over the net too? Many I know broke up through letters. Maybe your boyfriend thought, texting is similar to writing a letter or someting of the matter. I still feel he should meet with you and tell you face to face, it is over. It will hurt but it is proper. That is what I call a relationship.

How horrible. It seems the soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo did it to his model girlfriend, so the magazines went after her sure in the right time and for money she gave him all the dirty. She got so mad. I think there's no worst way of ending a relationship! By texting and e-mail.

well it is the cowards way as he didnt have the courage to tell you face to face, but i think that its getting to be normal as technology seems to be taking over everything now and people just think its easier.

That happened to me with my ex boyfriend. I had dated him for 2 years and various things that were obvious we were going downhill happened then one day, I will always remember it detailed because it was the first time it has happened to me, I was at Walmart picking up some dog food and it was July 6, 2008 at around 1:30pm when I got a text from him saying " We started out with a lot of chemistry then over the years it just faded and I don't think we can get it back. I think it's best if we see other people." I was so shocked that he broke up with me over text message that I couldn't even feel sad. Even after I agreed it was best option and he came over to exchange our items that we left at each others homes, I was still shocked. Weeks after the breakup my mouth was still wide open from the shock. I was 20 and he was 24. I have always felt that serious things like that shouldn't be done over email or text message. It should be face to face or through a call. I understand that it hurts more this way but this way it's respectful.He lost a ton of respect points from me when did that.

I don't think I would do it by text, but I don't think I would have the heart to do it face to face unless the conversation came up while we were together. I think text messaging is just a sign of the times. That is how people communicate now. But I think for breaking up it shouldn't be done over text.

Well as you can see, most people responding here seem to think he took the cowards way out and not mature enough to face you face to face...to my mind HE'S the loser. Sorry to hear about this though, you deserve MUCH better

I guess be glad that you know now how childish he could be! It's not only immature, but I find communication as such as very disrespectful to the person it is directed to. It's like you're not worth the time...it's why I got rid of my cell phone two years ago. My friends kept texting and would never call...and I don't believe in that. If you like me enough to call yourself a friend, you can have the common courtesy to call. I once read an article which encouraged men to text love messages rather than write love letters. Text messages mean you really mean what you say since you have to think of it then, the article said, while letters are "doing it for show." Puh-leeze. If my husband stopped writing me love letters and texted messages instead (he doesn't have a cell, either, thankfully), I think I'd knock him upside the head. When my husband sits down with a notebook at his work, writing his letter, he's putting thought into it. Is he doing it for show? Based on the words and phrases he uses, no. Every letter words something differently, says something new...and has for each letter of the past six years since we met. How many men still write love letters? Very little. How many men text? Most, especially around my generation. Do I want my husband to be a sheep that follows the norm, or an individual with a mind that thinks for itself? Hmm...let me think about that. The love letter thing is quite the opposite of breaking up over text, but in either case, I do believe technology is taking the social courtesy and personalization out of both friendships and romantic relationships. Which is more personal: writing a letter, showing your thoughts and feelings through your own hand-writing, or sending a message through a phone? Breaking up with someone by sending a text and being done with it, or showing up and giving that person enough respect by giving them your time while you break the news? On the same note, which shows more personal character: a letter, or a text? A text, or a visit? Social relationships, when they are only connected by technology, is what you get when you succeed at taking the personality out of personal relationships.

That guy is too coward. Technology had been like a shield for man,s individualistic and selfish attitude. Anything could be said via text because it is devoid of human emotion. Because we had been used to these several technologies around us we thought that it was just part of the norm and culture, we forgot what is traditional and real. I can relate with your disappointment. You deserve something better.

Breaking up with a text message has to be the coward's way out of a relationship. If you have the courage to break up with someone it is only fair to face them and not hide behind a text. Technology has done so much to advance our world today. We shouldn't use it to hurt each other. technology should be used in helping each other make a better life.

That's a sign of cowardice and immaturity. It's good that you have parted ways. You don't deserve someone like him. He doesn't even have the guts to see you personally and tell it straight to you. Sometimes, we can't really see the real person by just looking at him. You have to know him better before committing your self. Just be careful not to choose someone like him again.

u should be glad aurone. he is a coward and cant stand on his own leg,use text message to express his feeling???so pathetic..if u continue your relationship,it would just make u disappointed day by day..there is always a good guy for a good girl..

technology has distanced relationships... before my friends and i where playing soccer all the day, laughing each other, but the kids of today are all the day in the computer and whit iphones.

well.i guess it depends on the situation.long term relationship,you definetly should do a face to face..but short term or if they're dangerously bad tempered it might be safer to text break,simply because you don't know how they'll react.

Oh G, what a coward. I am sorry you had to experience this. While dating and going out he was not afraid to be in your company. I would respect a person more if he/she says face to face that the relationship was over. Somehow this would make me feel as if I was not worthy of being of being told directly. Take it as if he were a jerk and you deserve better.

That was a very awful way to break up with you. Especially with you being not a teenager. I am very sorry this has happened to you. That is such a coward for sure. I would never do that to someone. Take care and keep your chin up.

Hi Aurone, I have other side of story to share about text message, I and my husband had encountered same problem before, my dear cousin borrowed my cellfone and made texting with her boyfriend when she returned back to me there were text that was not deleted and my husband read it. Its good for my husband he listened to my explanation so it was resolved. Since then I never allows anyone to borrow my phone for security reason.