He Shoud Have at Least Informed me...

Hello, Xien2xien.:-) I know it was ride. I wouldn't do that to him if I were on his shoes. Nor I won't keep on giving promises I couldn't keep. I am trying so hard to make things work between us but I feel like he is being careless again. God forbids but I am running out of patent. It is not only me that he is taking for granted but his kids,too... Next time, if my kids ask about him, i'd rather no hold on to his words but rather say something differently so as my kids will not expect too much. They are already growing up. One day, it is either him or me that they will see as a liar. No more of that for me.

Saphie, how are you? Miss you in discussions.

I'm fine thanx Shiby and you? Maybe later, i cannot think of anything and i haven't lost my temper enough to start a rant.

Hi, Saphy. I know that you can relate to this ,dear. Why... We are always playing our roles as devoted wife and mother. No complain about that. But, how we wish, these men should be at least a little bit sensitive to our feelings. We are not robots, they should remember that. Well, he will always have dinner when he comes home, dear. He is the one giving me the budget for that so I don't have an alibi not to prepare his dinner. Besides, kids and I also eat.

Hi, dear. I am so glad to see you here other than in FB. Yes, I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, for the children's sake. I know he had been very busy the past few weeks because of his new assignment and his new responsibility being the shelter manager. However, it is already sad that he can not be with his kids for 5 days and he still makes promises he can not keep. On my part, I am considering this as negligence because we already talk about it. Matter of fact, I had been through this situation before so it truly pisses me off that he is doing it again at the expense of my children... Re my not being so active here lately, I am busy facebooking. trying to psyche myself. If you noticed that I am doing my best playing a devoted Mum and supportive wife.I am going through something right now, dear.

Hi eureka! I can understand that you are too busy facebooking and looking after your kids, sometimes taking them out for picnic and supporting your hubby in his thick and thin. FB is a different ball came and sometimes easier to handle.. Back to your response - I will have to but agree with you that if a partner makes a promise again and again and does not keep it, then s/he tend to lose his/her credibility and doubts do start emerging.. You are right, if not for you, he should keep his promises for the sake of children. Have a nice day! Deepak

Thank you, dear for the support. if only my husband has the same mindset as you have... But , hey, there is still time for him to change. Our kids are still young and they aren't that much as expectant as I am. . He, hubby, has still time to practice keeping his promises. I do not want my kids to see him as someone they can not rely on, especially his words... Though, I dislike him because of this but it is still my duty to promote and instil in my children's hearts the love and respect for their father...

Really!

Quite Philosphical!!

Hi, Vandy. How are you? I am so glad to see once again. Well, I guess you are right. Such person doesn't know what subtlety is... Unfortunately, he is my husband...:-(

Hello, Jennyze. Yes, you could be right. I could have called instead. . But, I did not because I was testing the water. If he can keep his promise that time, just like he said he would... I guess, I have relied on his word too much...

Well, as long as his delays are sincere, that's all that matter I guess. There's just people like that, need to be reminded all the time.

Hello, Prabu.:-) Sorry for the very delayed response to your comment. I didn't have much time to check Mylot lately but I do appreciate your thoughts and comment here on this matter. Well, I do not understand my husband really. I am having a hard time understanding him because he used to be sensitive to my feelings and what I thought. But, as years passed by, he seems careless, not only to my needs but also to our kids'. . I can only hope that this is only a case of forgetfulness and not really a case of being ignored... I am getting use to his attitude. One day, I'll care no more about what he says or thinks or does. Have a great day to you, too.:-)

I know , Sid. It was the first thing that came to mind, too when we still keep waiting for him even beyond the time he promised to be home... I did not say anything. He only stays two days with us so I did not force the issue on him. But, I wasn't talking to him that much either.. He used to be like that, trying to turn the table on me, just to get away with his shortcomings but he knew that I am not that forgetful... I can only wish and hope that he will consider if not my feelings, then, his kids'...

Hello, Tlb. so far things are going ok again. I am a very forgiving person. I get hurt, disappointed but I can always forgive his shortcomings. That's the least i can do to make our home peaceful and not to throw all the blame on him. I have succeeded of drawing them( him and daughters) closer to each other. I wouldn't want to ruin that because of his being insensitive. Will surely give it a try to talk to him and iron this little crease, dear. Thanks for the insight.

Thank you or making me smile with your response, Piya. But, i couldn't do that. I have kids to consider plus, it is not easy to go out in the night with all three kids to tag along without a car of my own. That's the reason perhaps why I haven't thought of what you did. Maybe, if I have a car, I could have left. Hmmmm... Yeah, why not?

Hello, Sender.:-) I have nothing to say but to agree with you on this. More often than not, my husband is ignoring us or taking us for granted. I'm not sure if he is aware of it or he is just being careless but nevertheless the effect is just the same, painful. yup, being considered would be a sure thing to get our respect for him. You have hit the button, dear. I believe it is important that he makes us feel that we matter...

Hi, Ybong. Dear, when you are a man of many words and has time to do facebook on lunch break and snacks but do not have the time to inform your family if you can not go home on the time you are expected to be home, then it is unforgivable. Better late than never shouldn't be an excuse... I'm sorry but I do not agree on this...

Hello, Titchy. The thing is, he is my husband. Even if he has this kind of shortcomings I can not treat him like he is the worst person I have known in my entire life. Besides, I need to show my kids that I respect and love their father even if the latter is not really perfect. I need to do what every good wife and mother has to do, I guess.. At least, this is what I believe. For my children's sake.

Hello, Martin. I know the implications, bad ones, to kids who were given false promises. I experience it first hand. I grew up having difficulties trusting my own parents... it is the same thing that I am trying to avoid for my kids to experience. it is just painful. I do not want my kids to rebel against their father, too. Yup, I will probably talk to him once again about this matter. I'm just waiting for the right time...Thank you.:-)

Hello, Elaidha. I am happy that you have found a way to cope with such situation. When we are expecting a lot, the tendency is that we are more often than not get disappointed.So, better not to expect. Let the man change if he wants to change. Let him change on his own. I guess, I should go back to this attitude. Maybe it 'll benefit all of us than ruin us... Thank you for the insight.

Hello, dear. I know why or what he'd tell me if I will ask him why. He'd only tell me that he has been very busy working and that his schedule was erratic. And for sure he will be upset with me because I am not that supportive of his work and my asking him about his unkept promise would mean that I do not understand his job and his situation. Yes, I am very much sure that this scenario will most likely to happened because I have been in this situation before. My only hope is that he will realize what he did before our daughter will start asking more questions of 'why'.

Hello, Jaiho. My kids do not expect much from him since those who are close to him are just 3 years old and 1 year old. The three years old often ask when he'd be coming home and I am always telling her what he(hubby) told me. It is a good thing that my daughter do not expect and would soon forget that her father promised this and that. But I do fear that one day she will learn to anticipate and that it will break her heart when he can not keep his promises to her. Yes, it will eventually make us lost our respect and trust on him. I had been through this before. Thank you, Jaiho. For my kids' sake i am trying to be strong and will remain strong.:-)

I am trying to understand him, Rav. I know that he is very busy and he has great responsibilities in their office but I just hope that he won't forget the promises he made especially when it is his daughters that are directly affected about it. He sometimes could be very forgetful that makes me feel that he is ignoring us and put as a second next on his priority. Well. maybe we are...

Hello, honey. Honestly, i have been through this thing before. From the very beginning my husband is very forgetful of the things he said or done which makes me believe that whatever he does or says , he doesn't really mean them. But, for the sake of my daughters, I am giving him the chance to make up and prove himself for the nth time that he will eventually learn to be sensitive to our feelings. I'll just hang in here for just a while, I guess and see what happens next. If none, then, it is time to talk to him seriously.