do you think it is wrong to talk to your ex-boyfriend?
By misc11
@misc11 (384)
United States
April 15, 2011 2:27pm CST
Do you think you should be allowed to talk to your ex-boyfriend if your current boyfriend doesn't want you to? I see both side of this and would understand if my boyfriend didn't want me to talk to my ex-boyfriend because we were not legitimate friends. I have been dating my current boyfriend for a year now and dated my ex for 3 years so we obviously developed a bond. We did not break up on bad terms so we developed a friendship that is a platonic friendship and there are no feelings there anymore...at all. I care about him as a person and vice versa which I think is completely normal, but my current boyfriend does not and wants me to stop talking to him and we get in fights about it all the time. Part of the reason I won't stop is because I do want to be friends with my ex and just don't feel like I am doing anything wrong. The other part of this argument is I don't feel like my boyfriend should be allowed to tell me who I can and can't be friends with. I think that is controlling and I don't want to be controlled. Is it wrong of me to keep talking to me ex? Have you been in a similar situation?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
I think it depend on the situation. if you don't have the feelings for your ex boyfriend so it is okay to talk to him like a friend but if you think you will fall inlove again to him, i think it is much better to try to ignore him.. Me and my ex boyfriend are still dating now but it is okay to my husband because they are also good friends now and i don't have a feeling that i will fall again with my ex and i really love my husband. I am dating with him as a friend.
@lyamsitiy (104)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Yes, i have been in that situation, still am in fact, for the record. I think that you should also consider what your boyfriend would feel, He's just worried that maybe you still have feelings for your ex, even if you say that it is just plain friendship and nothing else. Remember that whatever relationship you have with your ex thats between you too, no matter what other people would say, they may never understand. But at the same time you should consider the feelings of other people, especially your BF. For me its better that you just have a civil relationship with your ex, not necessarily close but at least you don't hate each other.
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
16 Apr 11
it's not wrong really, but be considerate to the feelings of your boyfriend...if a you love someone it's normal to get jealous...and jealousy hurts, put your self in his shoes...it's okay, but don't overdo it...
@EstiiBabii (685)
• United States
16 Apr 11
I don't think it's wrong talking to your ex-boyfriend as long as you still don't have feelings for him. I still talk to my ex's because it's not like we ended it badly, why can't we still be friends? There's nothing wrong with being friends with the ex's. Make your boyfriend see how much you mean to him and make him see that there's nothing going on between the both of you.
@tammy27 (1241)
• Philippines
16 Apr 11
i have been in this situation a couple of times already... and before i commit to one relationship, i see to it that everything is clear between me and my boyfriend... things such as me talking to other boys which are my friends, or to my ex-boyfriend should not be a case at all. cause if my current boyfriend trusts me then it won't bother him. honest communication is what's always important.
@raineydrops (25)
• Philippines
17 Apr 11
For me, it is wrong to see your ex-boyfriend without the consent of your current boyfriend. Yes, I have been in a similar situation and this just brought us to have my relationship with my current boyfriend become shaky. You and your ex boyfriend must talk, that you need to keep a gap btween the two of you, and find happiness with the one that in your current relationship. I hope that helps. That's what I did. :)
@piya84 (2581)
• India
16 Apr 11
well see this is going to make him feel insecure and thats very much natural.May be you could have some kind of transparency .Let him see your conversation so he knows you are having only platonic relationship and there isnt any feelings involve.
@felelis (96)
• Thailand
15 Apr 11
Definitely it's not wrong. Since you and your ex is nothing more than just friend. People has a freedom to have a friend. And I think it's a good thing to keep in connection with the ex as a friend. Many of my friends just stop talking to their ex after they broke up, and I don't know why.
But I do understand your boyfriend. You said that you dated your ex for 3 years, which is more than the time you date your current boyfriend. I think he understand the part that you and your ex has already developed a bond. He might be afraid that you will left him to your ex.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
15 Apr 11
An ex-boyfriend can still be a close friend. The friendship does not need to end just because the relationship didn't make it. You don't have to be flirtatious with him, but there is no reason not to be a friend. @interactivelearning (451)
• United States
16 Apr 11
I think it really depends, Did your boyfriend ever meet your ex-boyfriend. Does your ex boyfriend ever flirt with you when you guys talk, Do you still have any feelings for him at all.
If hes totally just a friend and that is absolutely it, Then Yeah You should not feel bad talking with your ex-boyfriend. Your new Boyfriend is jealous that your old boyfriend still has feelings for you and is gonna try to win you back, I can understand where hes coming from, Especially if he feels your really the one for him. I would sit him down and tell him how you feel about your ex and really see how much it is effecting him.
@SugarMarie (35)
•
16 Apr 11
On my side, I really don't want to be involved with my ex-boyfriend anymore. I just want to live a life without him. Maybe I would consider just talking with your ex but if you say about "dating you x" it is another story.
I think talking is just ok. I believe that in a relationship, trust really matters. So if our partners would react negatively even with just talking with your x, maybe your partner really lacks trust with you or maybe it is just because of too much jealousy.
Just explain everything to your partner about that matter. He can really understand if he really trust you because Love is not possible if in a realtionship, you don't trust each other. ^^
@darkridersoumya (199)
• India
15 Apr 11
I disagree with you on this.Being a guy I can understand how it feels when your girlfriend is talkng with her exboyfriend.Just try to keep yourself and be frank wont you mind if he speakswith his exgirlfriend.Its obviousyou too will feel the pain.Aside the nature of your relationship ay be platonic but he does not know about it.So it makes him insecure he feels that you might be going back to your ex.This is quite natural.I can suggest that if you want to talk with your ex do it infront of your current boyfriend.You yourself are saying you had been in relationship with your ex for three years and its just been a year you are dating your current boyfriend ofcourse it will make him insecure.Just once try to be in his place and think.If still you are not satisfied it would be better if you break up ith your current boyfriend cos he will never be happy as long as you talk with your ex.Can not help it,its guy's psychology.
@rinakitto (111)
• United States
16 Apr 11
I dont think that it is a problem for you to talk to your ex because you both are very good friends and have known each other for a very long time so as long as you have don't feel more then a Platonic friendship, then it fine. I was in a situation where my ex still had many feelings for me but I still want to talk to him but it was very weird when I did. I would feel confronts to if I was told who I could and couldn't talk to. So you should tell him that you feel like you are being taken in coltrol of and that you can make wise decisions by yourself.
