in love with best friends girlfriend.. dont know how to stop feeling hurt
By addicted2jg
@addicted2jg (9)
United States
April 15, 2011 4:27pm CST
About a year ago my
friend t.j. introduced me
into his girlfriend. since
then the three of us have
hung out alot. About a 2
months ago they got a
room together. My friend
t.j. had gotten a job and
was working night shift.
Me and his girlfriend
would hangout all the
time and still do because
she doesnt have very
many friends and t.j. can
trust me with her. Since
they have moved into a
room with each other
things have changed for
them though. Just like all
her peers and family told
her things would get
harder and worse, and it
has, they argue almost
twice a day and she crys
like over 4 times a week. I
cant even tell him to quit
treating his girlfriend the
way he does because he
is very jealous about
certain things and
inevitably i could see me
and him not talking
because of a small issue
such as me intervening in
their relationship. It
makes me very angry to
see him treat her like that
and on top of that he
smokes weed all day and
spends at least 10 $ a day
on it and he lost his job 1
weeks ago and is barely
looking for
another..anyways while he
was working at his old job
me and her would have
good times and got close
a couple times (not kissing
but close) i know she has
feelings for me but she
cant pursue them.. i have
feeling for her but i
obviously cant pursure
them and i cant show
them around him either
because he as i said is
very jealous even if i
commented on her
beauty. What hurts me
the most is knowing how
much better i would treat
her is she were mine. and
that she knows that she
even admits i would treat
a woman much better
than he has or ever
would. see the problem is
i knew him before her.. in
fact for years iv known
him but we've had our
problems too.. but it kills
me knowing what
happens in their room at
night even the same days
he makes her cry.. they
make up because he says
something fake to make
her laugh and smile then
everything back to
normal.. next day he does
or says something and
shes upset or crying
again..one time me and
her got pretty close in
details i was scratching
her back and massaging
her back when she layed
over me and basically got
in my face (she was half
naked) and she told me
not to fall for her
because she would hurt
me.. then she got up and
kind of did like a stressful
exhale.. i know she
wanted more she wanted
to connect because she
was telling me how much
her boyfriend neglects
her and that is why she
does what she does.. i
guess in a nutshell we
both really like each
other, he treats her like
crap ,but she is so
attached to him she cant
leave.. its complacence..
and i am just hurt
because were close but t.j
made some stupid joke/
remark about scratches
on one of their roomates
(a guy) and he said " o
you like to scratch i
wonder how he got that"
and obviously it wasnt
from her (it was actually
from a pet rabbit another
roomated had) and he
acted like he was
suspicious and now she
says she cant even be
close or say certain things
to me ever not even
alone... it doesnt bother
her as much as it bothers
me.. she has love but im
still looking for love..
im not sure how to feel,
or how i feel, what to do,
what is my position in this
relationship..
so far im just like the
good friend who does
favors for them and
hangs out with them alot..
sometimes t.j. will get
jealous about how me
and her are togetheralot
or every once in a while
finding a comment on a
text message to her and
he'll be like "see this is a
3 way relationship!.."
i know this was long but i
had to post it and get it
off my head and
hopefully get some
insight..
??
1 person likes this
5 responses
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
15 Apr 11
Stay away. Keep your distance and take a break from hanging out with them. They need to work out what's going on between them. You need to find other friends and other things to do. I'm not saying stop being friends with them but everyone needs a break sometimes.
1 person likes this
@Filigs (122)
• Portugal
17 Apr 11
Oh damn that happened to my previous best friend which isnt now, but he did the wrong move of saying what he feels to her and she left me... I got really hurt, so if I have the position of your friend in this, and I'm telling you, the worst thing that can happen in your life is that, if it isnt, its one of the worst things that can happen trust me... Just STAY AWAY from her, seriously, if you want the friendship to stand still, you better do that or you'll loose your best friend, trust me.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
15 Apr 11
Hello addicted, I think the best for you is to take a breath apart. The world will keep moving, and you will have peace.
Blessings!...
Dainy
@ssebrinatw (175)
• United States
16 Apr 11
I say it all comes down to how much of a friend your good friend really is. Is he that good of a friend that you wouldn't want to hurt him, or have you lost the true friendship feeling for him? You seem to really like her but it all comes down to what is more important, your feelings for her or your friendship with him. Unfortunately you won't be able to have both from the sounds of it. Is she worth it and do you think it'll be that much better? You never really see both sides of an argument so you might find out things she does that make him look bad but aren't the case.
@DaDukeee (75)
• Romania
16 Apr 11
Almost the same thing happened to me and to me honest if you really feel that way about her keep your distance because you can't be just friends with someone you love especially if she's nice and all,the fact that your around her with break you mind body and soul.When i felt that way about my pals girl i told him and he said ok,try something with her.It didn't worked out to make a long story short and in the end I felt bad,but they are together they moved to another city not because of me they wanted to go to a specific collage and it's a happy end for than,as for you "I love you,but we're friends" doesn't work believe me.