do you think some people enjoy being miserable?
By misc11
@misc11 (384)
United States
April 17, 2011 4:16pm CST
do you think some people enjoy being miserable? one of my friends just wants to focus on everything negative in life and wants to talk about how her life sucks all the time. She never wants to talk about anything that is happy or anything that is going right. If you try and say something good about her, she rejects the compliment and wants to turn it into something bad or tell you you didn't mean it. She is miserable to be around because of this. I think she enjoys being miserable and honestly does not want to be happy. I don't understand why people choose to be this way and why they don't want to be happy, or at least try to. Do you think some people just don't want to be happy?
1 person likes this
16 responses
@arunadas (111)
• India
23 Apr 11
O yes there are people who love a good misery!! they can never stop complaining about everything in life and if they happen to meet someone who is happy they will be soooooooo miserable they will never rest until they make the happy one a miserable too.....but we just need to stop being emotional sponges and get away from the 'miserables' !!!
@artistry (4151)
• United States
18 Apr 11
...Hi there misc11, I really think that some people love to wallow in misery and just are not content unless thy are complaining about everything under the sun. The sky is blue, well it should be a little more blue. They don't like happiness, it is alien to them. There are some people on here, I read the titles of their posts and they are never anything upbeat, it's always a downer or a negative complaint about one thing or the other.
I sometimes wonder to myself, how in the world do they get out of the bed in the morning if their world is so dark and dreary every single day of their life. I would just fade away into a pile of black dust if I carried such a heavy load. I try to be as cheerful as I can for my own state of mind. I laugh as much as
I can. Life is no picnic at times, but my feeling is that you only make things worse by being a complaining, negative person. You also have to be careful staying around someone like that a lot, as it will tend to affect your state of being. Take care. Cheers.
@sizzle3000 (3036)
• United States
18 Apr 11
I do. I think that some poeple just love to be negative because maybe a lot of bad has happened to them when they were hoping for good. I know my daughter was like that for a long time. Everytime she would hope for something good or for something to work out it would turn out to be the opposite so she just stopped hoping for positive stuff and focused on the negative. It's a real shame that some people are like that all the time but it's just how some are. My daughter now looks at positive things more now becuase life did a major turn fo rher. She fell in love and got married. They are doing well with his mother and are planning on comeing down with us when they have enough money because they want to build their own house. I think that these negative people just need something positive to happen to them to change their attitude around. :)
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Apr 11
as to the question, yes, and they are growing in number.
it is actually the easiest one to get attention. even if there arent anything to be anxious or sad about, these people project negativity. annoying but i just have to get away from these people.
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
18 Apr 11
A lady that I admire very much the past few days said that sometimes she finds it easier to be unhappy than happy. I thought he gave her statement and tried to put me and me this question: how it feels easier to be happy or unhappy. And the answer came quickly, without much time to think: unhappy. Yes, I find it much easier to declare me unhappy, my bitter cry, cry me why I did not and do not have time to do even half as far as I want to do. And I'm not depressed about. I just think it's in human nature. Perhaps you can not generalize and apply to all but I see around me that people talk more easily and often about the troubles just about happy moments.
I do not know why it's easier to see the glass half empty. I think it's easier to complain than to be happy. The theory chapter I know I should enjoy every moment of life, to enjoy every morning I wake up because there are others who can not enjoy this privilege. I know I should enjoy that are healthy because they are others who would give anything to be healthy.
I often wish I had moments of happiness! Now I do not stand the term theory of happiness as there are books that show that a man is happy in life gathered for 15 minutes (I hope my memory and not to talk nonsense). So, happiness seems to be, according to experts, a few seconds. I do not want to talk from books but from my everyday life. I want more happiness, contentment. I know that happiness comes from within. This phrase is not from books (or maybe it and the cards) but expressing something I lived and felt. The more happy with me, so I should be happy in everyday life. Perhaps now is not very happy with me. Maybe we should start to change me into someone better and more understanding. In fact I know for sure we should do something about the changes myself, my thinking. Even I admit that it is easier to be unhappy than happy says something about me or about me in this period in general. I have no idea!
@Luv2Fly (9)
• United States
18 Apr 11
Yes, I think some folks love being miserable. They also want company, and they want to be sicker or more miserable than you. If you have a headache the other person will have one worse. If you are having a bad day the other person will be 10 times worse.. I've had people who just seem to want to compete with miserableness.. if that is a word. God forbid if I say I'm happy and try to get the other person happy.. I'm told not to minimize her pain. I just have to stay away from people like that sometimes.
@tlb0822 (1410)
• United States
17 Apr 11
I have met people like this before. They think that the sky is always falling and it is always going to rain on their parade even though the sun is shining. I think that people like this don't understand the finer things in life, and don't enjoy life for what it is. It truly is sad and they are a drag to be around. Its kind of like you want to shake them and be like wake up and enjoy your life instead of being miserable with it all the time. I couldn't imagine living that way day in and day out. Yes, we all have down days, but having one every day. NO way. No ones life is that horrible that they have to be miserable everyday. I hate when you are trying to have a nice day and enjoy yourself and they come along with their self loathing and boo whooing. There are literally times when I just want to tell them that if they don't have something positve then I don't want to hear what they have to say. I think that some people just don't want to be happy or enjoy getting the attention from others because they tell them of their unhappiness.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
18 Apr 11
There is such a thing as a base emotion. It's the emotion a person has gotten too hooked up on that they stick to that almost everytime. Whenever you wanna cheer that person up, you'd have to get her out of that emotion first unless cheerfulness is her base emotion. It doesn't necessarily have to be a positive emotion, but it's sort of like a haven for them. Another fact is, no one wants to be depressed and lonely so your friend being negative all the time doesn't mean she enjoys it. She wants to get pulled out of it, if you ask me. It's not actually being an attention seeker, like some suggested, it's more on neurological dilemmas. If you're her friend, you have to find a way to change that base emotion into a positive one. Here's another fact: a person learns a habit or a routine by repetition to a minimum of 21 days. So you have to get her cheerful for atleast 21 days.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
18 Apr 11
There is such a thing as a base emotion. It's the emotion a person has gotten too hooked up on that they stick to that almost everytime. Whenever you wanna cheer that person up, you'd have to get her out of that emotion first unless cheerfulness is her base emotion. It doesn't necessarily have to be a positive emotion, but it's sort of like a haven for them. Another fact is, no one wants to be depressed and lonely so your friend being negative all the time doesn't mean she enjoys it. She wants to get pulled out of it, if you ask me. It's not actually being an attention seeker, like some suggested, it's more on neurological dilemmas. If you're her friend, you have to find a way to change that base emotion into a positive one. Here's another fact: a person learns a habit or a routine by repetition to a minimum of 21 days. So you have to get her cheerful for atleast 21 days.
@polaris77 (2040)
• Bacau, Romania
18 Apr 11
I don't think there are people who enjoy being miserable,but there are people who like to complain about being miserable and try to impress others with that attitude.It's like a trend for some people,they just want to appear miserable in front of the others,to victimize themselves in order to get more attention.I'm sure there aen't too many people on this planet who don't want to be happy,and I don't believe those who say the contrary.
@QeeGood (1213)
• Sweden
18 Apr 11
I do not think people want to be miserable in the depth of their soul. I still think it takes alot of energy and efforts to create positive thoughts, when you are in severe situations. It's like some people can not put themselves together to graps the right opportunities to make good changes for a better life. It can do with what qualities, abilities and capacities we have to make changes to live a successful life. Have a positive attitude while seeing the possibilities in what life has to offer.
@dlpierce (495)
• United States
18 Apr 11
I have a sister like that. She's never happy and wouldn't know what to talk about unless she's complaining about something. She seldom has a good thing to say about anyone or anything. I really don't think people like that want to be happy. They must be happy with themselves before they can find good in others.
@redeemgurl (108)
• United States
18 Apr 11
I used to be one of these people. Sometimes people get burden down with everything going wrong in their life and they can't see the positive anymore. I needed someone else to tell me how bad I was for me to want to change. I needed counseling and God in my life to pull me out of it. I still have to remind myself to be positive because my family is so negative, that their negativity sinks in and can make me start feeling negative too. Try talking to your friend and telling her that she is letting her own negativity consume her and she should seek counseling. If she will not accept compliments, she has self-esteem issues or is insecure. She needs to find out what the root of all this negativity in her life, and start eliminating it. It may seem hard to tell a person, "look your negativity brings me down," but reassure her, that her life does not have to be like that. That you just want to help her, and if she can't receive your honesty, than she is not ready to give up her pesimistic ways. It is great to help someone, but if it is someone who doesn't want help, they will just continue being a pain in the butt and eventually you will ignore phone calls, and isolate yourself from her anyways, so why not give it a shot. If she does get mad, it is inevitable that you will have to stop hanging out with her anyways. Just make sure you are coming off as a loving and concerned friend, and don't be too harsh about it, and make this conversation private with no other people around.
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
17 Apr 11
Yes misery loves company. Some people just love to complain about everything. That's all they know and it makes them comfortable. They don't like change and they are afraid of it. They can't be happy and they don't want anyone else around them to be happy either. Best not indulge them and keep your distance there is only so much negativity one can take.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
17 Apr 11
Unfortunately there are some people who don't know how to cope with happiness. They are set on seeing the negative things over the positive so many times that they are just ready to settle for being miserable. It is easier for them to lower their expectations in life so that disappointment is not a surprise to them.