Is It Possible Nowadays to Court Girls by Going to Their Fathers?
@mythociate (21432)
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
April 17, 2011 5:46pm CST
Supposing I met a really cute girl. Supposing I didn't want to 'date until we were both ready to commit,' but I wanted instead to marry her---only dating her for fun ... not even caring if she thinks we're ready to get married, not even if she doesn't know what an awesome guy I am, not even if she's really interested in some other guy ... well, that WOULD PROBABLY stop me from pursuing her.
But with WOMEN having the power to accept or dismiss husbands' proposals, a fun night out with a girl-or-three becomes a letter to PLAYBOY. If we went back to 'dowry-buying,' then I would still be without a wife ... but it would be for want of ONE SPECIFIC PURCHASE rather than 'possession of a hotter commodity than brain-work!'
How can we bring it back? only one way: ASK! When your girl/friend introduces you to her father, present your case there.
Do you have any suggestions of ways to bring back Dowry-ism? 
3 people like this
7 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
18 Apr 11
I think that is the most disgusting idea I've heard in a long time. The days of dowries and bride-prices were horrific, chauvinistic, misogynistic and absurdly ignorant. Women are NOT chattel to be bought and sold. They are human beings with their own lives and their own rights, namely the right to personal happiness. A woman is NOT a commodity to be bought for the pleasure and use of a man. If a man EVER asked my father ANYTHING pertaining to me, least of all marriage, I would dump his @ss so fast his head would spin. There is nothing more revoltingly disrespectful.
So the best advice I can give you is to shove it. If you can't get a woman to want you for your own merit, on her own terms, for the mutual benefit and happiness of the both of you then it's YOU that needs to be altered. Not society or women's rights as a whole.
2 people like this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Wtf? What's that supposed to mean?
2 people like this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Apr 11
Whatever you say, your highness.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Apr 11
mythjociate so you cannot just get a girl and woo her and have both of you fallin love? whatever happened to real romantic love dowry buying in a lot of place really demeans women here in the u S i t was baned long ago b y intelligent people who see women as equal human beings not a thing to be bought or traded like a sheep or goat.If y ou force a girl who does not want to get married to you to marry you you will never be happy.you cannot buy love. either someone loves you or they do not, simple as that.when I p resented my hubby to be to my father mt st helena did not have as much power as my ecploding dad. lol poor dad but he did get over it. I do not e ven wi sh to help you and your dowry ism not at all.I am a woman and I am not a thing or an object. stick to your o wn ideas do not ask me to join that idea.
2 people like this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
19 Apr 11
I totally agree with you.
It's just frustrating for guys like me living amid all these women whose definition of 'independent' is more like 'finding their own little sugar-daddy' than 'going out and taking care of a husband'
2 people like this
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
18 Apr 11
I don't want dowries to come back. I'd rather choose the man I'll spend the rest of my life with, thank you very much. It used to be that women are married off to men, like they are some sort of commodity. Women are obliged to appease their men because of the dowry that was given to their family. It's a sick practice. I'm glad that women's rights are now established.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
19 Apr 11
But I'm not constant enough to go out every night (or whatever normal single guys do before they get married) 
2 people like this
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
9 May 11
So, you mean to say, you'd rather be setup in marriage than go through all the effort of courting? Well, it might work. In my country parent's are still a little bit traditional, and kids or rather the adult children of the parents still listen to their parents. So guys here still practice wooing the parents. It's a big bonus to be in the good books of the parents
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
10 May 11
I wonder why there aren't more 'make friends with her parents'-sites out there.
1 person likes this
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
19 Apr 11
Every committed relationship I've ever been in, I've told him that if he wants to marry me, he better ask ME, because I stopped letting my father make decisions for me when I was about 12 years old. I would dump any guy who asked my father, because why on earth would my father's (or anyone else's opinion but mine) matter when it comes to whom I marry?
I don't think it's sweet if a guy asks a father for a girl's hand in marriage, I think it's sexist.
1 person likes this
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
23 Apr 11
Well, being a mature person who realizes she has a smart father, if my father said to me in a caring way: "I don't think this fellow is quite right for you" and pointed out some logical reasons why, I would consider his advice. But it would still be my decision. And were my father to bring up stupid things like "he doesn't have enough money, or a good enough job, etc" I wouldn't listen. I'm good at making money and have enough -- why would I need a rich husband? lol
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
24 Apr 11
Where do I find single ladies like you?
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
19 Apr 11
Yours would be the only vote that counts (regarding marriage to you), the father's blessing being a bonus; yes?
1 person likes this
@azskull (90)
• Philippines
18 Apr 11
take it one at a time..prepare yourself in the discussion present your case and next try to avoid question that really needs a direct answer..dowry means that your just paying your wife to be with you that is the public opinion of some but for others it stands as your savings for the future for the parents to give it back to you after the wedding which is good.You and your wife will start to live together with a cash on hand..basically speaking its almost to be compared to savings.but ironically its a form for deg ration to some women..but to those who accept this beliefs its fine..but for your question in going first to their father its normal because boys understand boys feelings...
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
19 Apr 11
Maybe I'm thinking more from a father's perspective: Would I like it if I had a daughter and some guy came up to me and said, "Sir, your daughter has become a fine woman ... yada-yada ... and I'd really like to marry her!"
I would have to know the guy (almost separate from his interaction with my daughter), and it'd be like getting a girl for my little brother; but yeah.
1 person likes this
@ivane07 (76)
• Philippines
18 Apr 11
I am not in favor of the dowry system because there are some families who cannot afford to give what the other family demands. A couple decides to marry because they are ready to settle down and if dowry is still applied in such scenario, there might be problems that might occur especially if the other party is having financial constraints. But with regards to your question on the upper part whether it is possible to court girls by going to their fathers, I think it is possible but is it seldom seen nowadays. But I really do admire those guys who have the courage to face the family of the woman that they are courting. It depicts that the guy is sincere with his intentions.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
18 Apr 11
Okay I had to look up dowry and according to it's definition:
Property or payment given by a wife or her family to a husband at the time of marriage. (In some cultures, it is the husband who pays the dowry to the wife’s family.)
Because I am strictly a romantic and total love believer my friend I say go for love despite anything you may have heard and or been told. lol
I have no idea unless it is part of culture how to go about this, unless you can go online and search a site that specifically engages in such. 
