Overprotective Parents: Nineteen and Not Yet Allowed to Date!

My mom and my dad are also very strict and they didn't allow me to have a boyfriend supposedly until I graduated college. However, a guy came along in my second year and I really really liked him. I felt that if I let him go, there could never be another one like him. So we dated. After three months of being together, I told my mom and dad. Since I studied at a school far away from them, I had to tell them via fone. Since I didn't have the courage to hear them while talking to them about it, I sent them a text message instead. My mom didn't freak out but my dad did. Two weeks later, my dad went to Manila and I let him meet my boyfriend. Eventually, my dad came to accept him and even gets to say his name sometimes. Of course, I wanted to make them see that I could be trusted so I still worked hard on my academics and didn't do anything unintelligent. I've been together with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years now. Last Friday, we graduated together from our course and we let our parents meet. I'm not saying that you should follow my steps but in any case I think if the guy really likes you, you should let your parents meet him. If he's a good person, you wouldn't have any problem.

protective?yes!.. over? no0o! we cant blame them, nature simply molded them that way.. if your congested with the donts of your mom, do have a quality time to talk with her. tell her how you really feel.. make a compromise, clear the clouds. mom's love is the greatest but you have to explore the world. someday, youre gonna be a mom to0 atleast you know what to do ;)

Talk to your mom. I know she's just trying to protect you,but i am sure she will also understand your feelings. Open your heart and tell her about this guy. I am sure she will listen,i am sure she also went through same situation when she was about your age. Give it a try so you will know what to do next.

I think that nineteen is passing the age where a parent's consent is needed to date. You are considered to be an adult. You should be treated like one even from your parents and even when it comes to dating.

Hi, I think you need to prove that you're a very responsible girl to your mother. If she get mad because of the messages then tell her only messaging can't do any harm. You can also meet him in public in front of your friends and tell her that you're only be friends and want to know him better. Just going slowly and you'll find out more that whether your mom's reason for being overprotective came out true or not. Mothers are always thinking that men were always want something from their young girl, a mother wants the very best for her daughter.

oh, hard ones.. well, you can try to tell your mother that you're not kids anymore, tell her that you know she'd do that because she loves you. but her way to express her love doesn't make you feel comfort. she used to be young too, right? so she will undoubtly understand what'd you feel. communication rules here.

There may be many reasons why your mother is doing this but more than likely it comes down to the fact she does not want anything to get in the way of you going to collage. Perhaps is you knew of her past you may understand a bit better. If a girl should date and then get pregnant it complicates everything from that day forward. You may then have to give up college because you then will have a child to take care of. She may have had the same experience or knows someone that did and she doesn't want that for you. She knows full well how strong the urge is and how hard it is for you to resist. Getting a college education is so very important now that she is only looking out for what is best for you. That is a shame however because you are missing out on a really great time of your life. But remember this. If this boy thinks he loves you and you think you love him then you both can wait until you, and he, have moved on to college. It is critical that you do not complicate your relationship until you have your college behind you. If you both keep your head about you that should not keep you from continuing your relationship until you are ready for something serious. That may not be easy. Many have tried it and ended up not at all where they wanted to go. It can be done however if you both truly care for each other. I do not know of your background and I do not know of his. It may be your mother doesn't think he is good enough for you and that may very well be why she is so mad about it. There is really not much anyone out here can tell you except you must do what is good for you. Unfortunately at your age what is best for you is sometimes hard for you to see. Especially when it involves a relationship. You have a long time ahead of you to get yourself established. You must take steps to get there and you must indeed use your head to know what those steps must be. I do hope you can see that it will not be long and you will be on your own and you then must know what is in your own best interest. Try to give your mom a break as she may be trying very hard to make sure you make the right choices in life. Good luck to you.

Here in the Philippines, when people talk about date, people always think its about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend when in fact its not actually like that. It only has something to do with going out with friends and its not necessary to have a partner cause dating is a getting to know each other stage.

Show your parents that you are a responsible young adult. That you can be trusted in making and choosing the right decision for yourself. It's the only way they will be confident that you know right from wrong and won't make hasty judgments. If you can introduce this guy to them. He should also win their trust. Answer their questions as much as you can. Consult them in some personal matters. This will show that you will seek their guidance. At the same time it will show maturity which will increase their confidence in you.

I think you have to talk to your mother about how you really feel about her overprotective attitude...but if that fails, since your still dependent to her you have to follow her rules...if you really love that boy and he returns the feelings then ask him to wait, I guess he only need to wait a few more years since your 19 I'll assume your nearly graduating... ...hope it all work out for you, and don't sweat it too much, your young, your feelings for that boy might be for forever but it might also just be an infatuation, do remember that there are a lot of boys in this world but you only have one mother...you love her so I assume that aside from being overprotective she loves you more than anything else in this world too...she might just want to keep you from getting hurt, it might not be fully right but just keep in mind that her actions are motivated by love... Have a Good Day Ahead!!!

Your mom is wrong. You have to live your life. In your country are you of age? If yes search for a job and then tell your mother you are a student-worker and you are able to live by your own and menace her to go out of house and live alone if she doesn't give you more freedom. This is an extreme way, before try to insist with her that you are a good girl, mature and good at school.

My dear mjcookie, I feel for you. But you know, you have to obey your mom because she is only after your well - being. If the guy really likes you, he can wait for you even if it takes forever. Why not be friends with him first? Make him understand your situation. I have always believed that mothers knows best. Don't worry, I'm sure you are not the only one in this dilemma. You are not living an abnormal life. Problems like this happens to most families. If you are really bothered, then try talking to your mom. Perhaps, she might listen and consider. But if not, then don't worry, you will be living your life once you have your own job already. However, remember this always, moms will always be there to worry about you.

Obviously you are responsible with your studies, and a great kid because most would have already been sneaking around. I think your mom is being over-protective because she does not want it to effect your grades. When you start dating, it can bring a lot of distraction and sometimes stress. Yet, she has to stop treating you like that, or one day you will break and rebel. She needs to understand that you are responsible, and as long as you keep your grades up and do not let your personal life effect your schooling and other responsibilities, than you should be allowed to live a normal young adult life. I'm not saying disobey your mother because I respect the fact that you do obey her, and that is very admirable. She should also respect you and understand you are a great child, before she drives you away. Looking through your cell phone was a little strange, unless you gave her a serious reason to think you were in danger or doing something illegal. I think you should express how this could effect your relationship as a mother/child, because all relationships need to be based on trust, and that she should not question her own parenting because you will make her proud.

I think you should prove to your parents that you can be trusted. Its easier to say that mom you can trust me but its really hard to prove it. You cant blame your parents for being that strict because they care about you a lot. Even though your nineteen years old she is still your parents and your living in their house so you have to follow their rules. I also had that rule when i was still at school and i followed them, since they trust me enough now, after i graduated i was allowed to have a boyfriend and i can go out late at night. Its just a matter of being patient, if that guy really likes you then he should understand and would be willing to wait for you.