what is wrong with me....

Philippines
April 18, 2011 6:25pm CST
my uncle died last week and i think something is wrong with me. i am very sad and now i only talk about death with my wife. at first she just goes with it for she understands what i am going through. it is my first time to experience death in our family and my uncle is even my godfather. the other day i went to the doctor for i am experiencing chest pain and the doctor said it is only stress but still he gave my something to drink in case it is painful. yesterday my wife freaked out on me already for she said i am getting too morbid already. i was telling her that if i die i no longer need to be lay down on a coffin, just bring me to where they burn the dead. from the day my uncle died i never stop talking about death and stuff like that. whats wrong with me? i know my wife is already scared of my chest pain and now talking about me dying, but i cant help it. i know my wife is trying to make me feel better she make sure i wont think about it. is this a natural thing when a person experience death for the first time? help!
2 people like this
6 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
21 Apr 11
Losing someone that you are very emotionally close to is a very painful experience and more so if it is unexpected. Not only do we miss the person very much but it makes us painfully aware of our own mortality. I'm sure it is hard for your wife because she doesn't want to see you so said and worried. We all grieve differently. Some find it helpful to talk to a minister or priest. There are also grief councellers. More than anything it takes time. I know that sounds cliche but it is true. Time does heal. You will never stop remembering your uncle or missing him but it won't be with the same acute pain you are feeling now. I lost my dad unexpectedly about 25 yrs ago and I didn't think I was ever going to stop grieving him. I did though. Still, he crosses my mind every day and out of nowhere a song or something will make me think of him. The difference is that I am no longer sad. I can't change it so I just am so grateful to have so many amazing memoreis of our times together.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
19 Apr 11
Ohhhhhhh friend this is sad news but this is a true of life that if God call us then no one can help us. But yes you are doing right then this is share with your wife because if share our sorrow with our nearest then we feel relax. Otherwise we can gone in depression. I will suggest you all mylotter friend really drink is spoiled your life so please dont take it. Take care my friend your self and your wife and family because you are a men and you should strong and to handle all situation.
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Losing a loved one or someone close to you is really painful and I understand what you are going through.It is really hard to deal with depression especially when no one understands and supports your situation. Release yourself from that emotion and try to go away for a while - vacation (of course not to enjoy. It might help in any way :-)
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
being so much depressed and down when you lost someone that had been very close to you especially a family member is normal, plus like you've said this is the first time you actually lost someone so you don't know how to handle such pain, but it doesn't matter weather how many times you experienced this it will still hurts. there's nothing wrong with you but just look at it this way... for your wife's peace of mind because she's been freakin' out on you having chest pain, try to relax a bit and try to do your old habits and chores to keep your mind busy and to keep you from missing your uncle. do something that can cheer you up and helps you relax... cause if you don't, you might end up dying in chest pain caused of stress, that's horrible and think about your wife and family
• United States
19 Apr 11
Everyone grieves differently, and it can be particularly difficult if you've never experienced loss before. Please be gentle with yourself. Also, grief is not something that one can put a time limit on. Go at your own pace.
@manan66 (53)
• India
19 Apr 11
u should go to a close one and talk it out face to face.. it will help u!!