children in poor family are more independent
environment can train a children to be independent
independent child
Children in poor family are more independent
By yspmyl
@yspmyl (3435)
Malaysia
April 20, 2011 5:31am CST
When I traveling in Bali last week, I saw many kids that around the age of 3 to 5 years old selling souvenir to the tourist. They can do it without their parent observation and guide and they will do it just like they are so used to it and you can see that they are really independent. And they really know how to do business at the very young age. My son is 4 year old, and I do not think he can do like them. I think environment can really make a person be independent.
Do you think children in the poor family will be more independent? How independent is your child and at what age they started to be independent? How do you train them to be independent?
3 people like this
15 responses
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
20 Apr 11
I guess their being independent was borne out of necessity. I mean, they have to in order to cope and survive. I have a 7-year-old kid and I do teach him how to be independent by allowing him to choose, to a certain degree, what toys to buy, what food to eat, what clothes to wear. Small stuff for now. I guess part of me doesn't want him to be very independent too fast.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
20 Apr 11
Hello yspmyl,
I agree, we parents are over protective on our children most of the times. Being independent is really depends upon the child and the environment he lives.
What do you mean here asking the term ‘independent’, do you mean the financial independent?
The poor families are not sending their kids for studies and they might help elders for some work. A ten year old boy is coming to our home to pick the garbage. I asked to him, why you are not going to school, he told me I was going to school in my village now I came here to help my uncle. When I see him I think about my son he is 9+ and enjoying his school. I really feel bad to see this child for coming to pick the waste.
Some kids are busy on selling magazine in traffic blocks. Some are under the age of five is busy on begging money and their dress is so dirty and they can run in between vehicles and nobody bothers. Just think about our children, do we send them to public road?
I think the irresponsible parents are making them ‘independent’ in a small age. Now I am really thinking dear, are we on the right path? 
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
20 Apr 11
Hi Sree Didi 
Quite rightly pointed out. Though these kids are thought to be independent, but they miss out so many things that they can enjoy or have only when they are kids...
Quite rightly pointed out. Though these kids are thought to be independent, but they miss out so many things that they can enjoy or have only when they are kids...@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
21 Apr 11
Hi Sreekala,
I believe how independent a child is depend on the environment they live, and if the situation need them to be independent earlier, I mean at the younger age, they will became independent. What I mean independent here is that they can do work without the parent supervision.
When a family do not have enough money for daily living needs, then they will have to force to train their children to help to work to earn some income for the family, and I believe if we have more money, we will be more protective to our children where we don't even dare to let them be alone at all and not even mention that will send them to the public road.
Sometime for those people who are really rich, they even prevent their child going out of their house compound without the parent supervision because they worried of other this such as kidnapping. So, how can these children become independent. The parent are too protective that they will do almost everything for the children.
Where as if the parent are poor, they do not have time to take care of their children, they need more time to work to earn more money to support the family. So, are they consider as irresponsible parent? Sometime environment force them to be like that, and that is not something that they can choose.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
21 Apr 11
Ok now I got your point clearly, I was bit confused.
Here I mention the word 'irresponsible parent' to those who are sending their kids in the middle of public road to sell or beg money. Sorry dear I can call them 'irresponsible' only. When I use this word, the picture was in mind, a five year old carrying a 2 year old and running in between traffic for begging money.
I agree with your points, we should allow the kids to be independent. I have two kids 9 and 4 years old respectively. I can tell that my 4 year son is more independent than the 9 year old. If I explain the reasons, this page may not be sufficient.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
20 Apr 11
Hi yspmyl,
Quite true that these kids are doing good. But at what costs? Back at home, they are illeterate, they have missed out on the education and also lack parental care. Whatever be the reason (mostly financial) but I think at end they are losers in real life. Yes, some of them make good in their careers no doubt but this is a too small number.
I do not have a kid yet, so cannot say much on those lines today. For me, I think the first time I felt independent was when I passed out class 10th and then started taking a few decisions on my own... and I was lucky to have my grandfather around to tell me when I was wrong or confused.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
26 Apr 11
Hi thesids,
I think they at least learn how to deal with people and learn about how cruel if the society and the tension of living. It is really sad to have children to learn to be independent in that way, but when one have not enough money for daily expenses, I believe they will be naturally become independent and they will find their way to get more money or foods.
You have a point here where those children do not get to go to school and learn how to read and write which can really affect their live later. They will always have to work harder than anyone when compare to those who are educated and they can only stay at the lower position.
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
20 Apr 11
Those children from not a wealth family will be more alert about the fact of life.
They started earlier to earn for living.
By right, they are suppose to watch television, to play computer games, to revise homework and so on at home.
In my point of view, it is not necessary to be good and healthy to the children whereby they are not doing the right thing at their right age and many places ban to employ children workers.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
28 Apr 11
Those children are quite pitiful where they have no time to what other kids do at their age, instead they have to work to earn money to support the family (I supposed so) So, from there, by natural force, they have to be independent in nature. That is really something sad to know.
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
24 Apr 11
I hear that in some places like certain areas of Thailand, young children are kidnapped at that age to do those things and bring the money back to the kidnappers. They sell stuff on the streets, maybe to tourists, or simply beg for money, but they don't really get to keep the money.
Sometimes they are forced to do it so they aren't independent, they just have no choice.
Other kids do learn to be independent if their family can not provide them with their needs. I think you're right, environments to have influence in making children work and think for themselves.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
21 Apr 11
Well, i think kids from any background May be independent as they grow us, it is just a matter of how their parents raise them. Being independent is a choice,if it was asked of me. Because being able to live on your own and not to depend on anyone else most of the time is really a choice.
@youless (112595)
• Guangzhou, China
21 Apr 11
The children who grow up in poor families can be much more understanding and independent. Nobody teaches them, they can learn it by themselves. My child will be seven years old this year. But he is not so independent. He is lucky and not every child can be so lucky without worring about the life. All I can ask him to do is to study well and then do some housework for me sometimes.
I love China
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Apr 11
hi yspmyl you do not spoil them if you want them to be independent.
You show them how and if they as teens want cellphones and ipods and all the other latest gadgets you let them earn the money. Most middle clas and well to do families spoil their kids rotten thats why they are not so independent.poor people have no choices but let me tell you its no fun being poor and can leave you angry and bitter too.You can be independent and still work and earn good money. just do not pamper every one.let people have to work for the goodies it will do them good.my parents were not poor b ut they were rearing us during the first depression and they thought us to be contented with less., we were not spoiled at all.kids no matter how well off you are do not have to have everything they might want and working to get something is good training
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
20 Apr 11
I think it may be a combination of culture and necessity that makes some people become more independent at a very young age. The reason I say that is because when you look at cultures around the world, some do not 'baby' their children. Even not that long ago - great depression era and before, 12 and 13 year olds were considered adults. They married and had families, sometimes LARGE ones - at 12 and 13 years old. That seems so odd to me, especially with all the people screaming about not wanting 13 year olds having babies. It used to be the NORM.
Some cultures everybody lives together, the whole extended family. Everybody works, except perhaps the great grandparents. The children often BECOME independent out of necessity - nobody to really care for a lot of their needs or wants, and that's just the way things are and always have been. In American culture, it generally isn't that way. There are some people who are LAZY and they do not take care of their kids, but in general people live in small family groups, two parents and kids, one parent and kids, and the parent(s) do the majority of the care for the kids. We don't often see 5 year olds selling things alone or non-dependent on a parent.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
21 Apr 11
Oh yes. I was poor growing up and I was very independent. I was moved out and on my own at 18. Had my own home at 20. We are not rich and my kids are so much more independent then others that we know. They are not selling on the street but they do make up little crafts to sell at the craft shows I do. They are helping to pay for their own dance classes. They are 5, 9, and 11. They bake cookies and brownies, Crochet little things for toys and make Barbie clothes. They do pretty good too! (yeah proud Momma) My nephews are spoiled and the one is only two weeks older then my 5 year old. He still cannot even tie his own shoes none to mind make anything. Actually he still calls for his bottom to be wiped (not kidding) and mine would die before calling me into the bathroom to do that.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
21 Apr 11
Hi yspmyl, Its true
. Poor family have less focus on kids and their behaviour as they concentrate to work hard for family. And kids also learn to grow independent either to save themselves or family or sometimes go in wrong way due to improper guidances.
. Poor family have less focus on kids and their behaviour as they concentrate to work hard for family. And kids also learn to grow independent either to save themselves or family or sometimes go in wrong way due to improper guidances.
@ohsodianne (433)
• Philippines
21 Apr 11
Hey there, I totally agree that children in poor families are more independent. I guess one of the main reasons for this is because they have to learn how to help their parents. If they don't then they might not really live for long.
@azhar007wiz (4)
• India
21 Apr 11
NO ways. I dont believe that being Independent at early age is is necessary. Different people have different speed of catching up things and poor children have no option but to work independently to earn. even if your child survives all the condition they have been going through , your child may come out more tougher than what they are. but there is no use to compare two children. If your child studies and grows up he might get more opportunity and may go into the field he was meant for. EVERY CHILD IS SPECIAL!!
@Draximbaz (33)
• Israel
20 Apr 11
Being independent of a child is learned from the family specially from their parents. For me, becoming independent of a child is not just because they're came from the poor family or not. Here in Israel I admire all the parents here because they teach their children from age zero 'til they grow to become independent. At the age of 2 or 3, you can talk to them like they are already mature one. And I know a child here at age of 9 or 12 was already millionaire because he invent a system that can check where exactly the leak of the underground pipe. Of course I'm not ignoring what you mention about some Indonesian child and environment is only a part of how the person become independent.
