My heart hurts (the loss of a brother)

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A while back on here I told the story of Jimmy. He came to live with us when he was 14 and has been in our lives 15 years. My parents looked at him as a son and my siblings and I saw him as a brother. I am typing this with a heavy heart. Two days ago, he collapsed and died during a physical training exercise at Fort Campbell,Kentucky. Jimmy was married with a two year old daughter and a baby due in September. This is one of the times when you are asking God why? I want to eat junk food and I am not hungry. I know it is to self-soothe so I am trying to keep control. I still half expect to go out to my parents house for a reunion and be able to hug him and tell him that I love him, but it is not going to happen. This has all felt like a bad dream. The day was doubly rough when we got the news because my son just had oral surgery. My heart hurts. Words from a movie were to the effect that "I am going to get up and breathe in and breathe out. Take one day at a time because that is all I can do. " That is where I am at right now. Some people say that he wasn't my brother because we were not blood related. He lived with my parents for 5 years. I lived with him. We did all the things that siblings do together. I watched him change, graduate high school,get married and have a child. I held my breath when he was deployed to Iraq and Korea and felt relief when he was home safe. None of us could ever have expected what happened. He was only married three years and died on the day that his wife was to have an ultrasound to find out whether she is having a boy or girl. It is a girl. Feeling lost, confused and left out now and hoping that his wife stays in our lives because we consider the babies to be nieces. Just wanted to vent some because I needed to let some of it out. Thanks for listening.