How Do You Feel & Deal With Two-Faced Back Stabbing Friends?

It's hard when you live across fro one of them. The last time it hit me, I was hurt for a while but then I just shrug it. When other friends asked me whether he story fro this 'friend' was true, I just told them: "You know me and you know her. So, what do you think?" And it works. They started to talk themselves that I would not be like that and that it was more the other person who would do it. By the way, I never confronted this 'friend' who circulated bad story on me. I am still friend with her till even we are less and less to see each other. However, when she needs me, I would still be there for her. I know the reason she circulated the bad story was because she was jealous of my good standing with my clients which were also hers. So, if you know what motivated your close friends to say bad things about you, maybe you can understand them better.

Opal, you are not alone. I am easy going as you are too. However, they are some people - I call them acquaintances, not friends - who are determined to drive you up a wall and test your character. They know thta you are quiet and easy and that seems ot give them the right to be back stabbers...like you I do not like it. I do get angry, hurt and upset too, however, I have found out that sometimes confronting them, does little ot solve the situation. They have shown me just what kind of friends they are, so it matters not if they live in the same condo or apartment as I do...or we even work together. I cut them off! Life is too short, to have friends who will smile in your face and then stab you in your back. If they can do that for peety everyday stuff, imagine what they will do when major events occur. Si if you really want to confront those two 'girls" i would say, the one you are writing, just tell ehr you are hurt and thought that she was your friend. The other one, just say, I am really disappointed in you and thought you were a true friend and leave it at that.

I have neices and SIL s that talk about me alot well they are in tENN AND i AM IN neVADA i PAY NO ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY SAY i DONT FEED THE FIRE. oops sorry about caps. I have one neice that tels them where to go when ever they bring up the subject.

I have dealt with the backstabbing two faced thing too Opal..I am so sorry to hear that you are. It is painful when you put so much loyalty into your friendships and then someone just throws it in your face. The unfortunate thing is it seems that more and more people take their friendships very lightly. I personally am very careful about friends now. I suppose in a way I have secluded myself in a sense. I have friends but for the most part they are kept at a safe distance from my personal life. I do have one or two that I consider real friends. Like the ones you hang out with and share certain things..but I am still careful because of past experiences. My grandmother had friends that she had had for years and I often thought that the quality of people that they were must be gone. I even told her once that I was amazed with her friendships. Take care Opal.

I don't deal with those kind of people sweetie. I get rid of them. I don't have the time or patience in my life for backstabbers.

Dear Opal I too hate lying, i have been cheated several times in the past, have learnt the lesson,i trust all and end up getting cheated, the cheates sre from my city mainly and some are neighbors, some took money from me never returned.. one took my necklace to wear for one day, when i asked it back, she said, what proff you have? Thanks for sharing Happy posting, cheers. Namastey. Kalyani

Unlike some people, I make a distinction between backstabbing and lying. Backstabbing is close to unforgivable, so I would not face off with someone who did that, personally, I would just drop that person like they no longer exist. But lying and being two-faced is different. With them I just consider the source and remember not to trust them anymore. Some people who can be friends for a time without being friends for life, whereas others are worth keeping.

I am a person that respects friendship very highly. I believe a true friend shows themselves for what they truly are pretty early on. I also believe in Fate and Karma. There have been several occasions where I was very glad fate leaned in my direction and I would be in a looney bin somewhere if it weren't for Karma doing the same.

It's hard to forgive a friend who has been lying to you. You should confront them with calm and try not to hurt them emotionally or physically too much. The more you hurt them, the more you'll get separated from them and they'll have to go to another person as soon as possible. Try to be considerate too, maybe they lied because they have some purpose in mind or so. Ask them why they lied, calmly. Then they'll give you their answers.

Sounds like someone i know,lol.I think that there are alot of people that we think are nice people, yet they are the people that turn out nothing like we thought they were.I think that there are people that you have to watch what youy say to them as well as not tell them much about what is going on in your life.I try to stay away from people like that as much as i can.

Easy I stay as far away from them as possible, I hate people who pretend to be your friend and then talk behind your back, I knew a guy for 20 years. He was super jealous of me for god knows what reason and was talking a lot of BS, So I completely stopped talking to him end of it LIFE IS TOUGH ENOUGH

Yes, I have come across situations like such. The worse thing is that she happens to be my superior and she keep backstabbing about me to my boss. The best thing to do is to get as far away as you can from people like this. I definitely will not want to work with such people. I prefer a peaceful environment so I don't feel so pressured when I work.

I think the best thing to do is show you are the better, more mature and more confident person and walk away from the whole situation. I think revenge and hurting the person just shows insecurity. Besides, why waste your time and energy when the people are clearly not worth it? Especially when you can spend that time with people you do care about and who wouldn't do that to you. I feel sorry for two faced friends because they have can't find anything better to talk about and are not confident in who they are so they try to please all sides. Just be glad you are who you are :)

Yes its really frustrating to have those kind of friends. Dont fight with them like an ill mannered person. Talk with them say all the things that youve felt from what they said then leave. Those kind of friends arent not to worth keep. I know itll be hard for you to forgive them at this moment. Time heals. Pray for them as well though they did something awful.

Rule 1... never expose how better off you are... people feel jealous. Rule 2...help but dont go overboard... Rule 3... try to see that you never need help...Rule 4...try to see your socializing needs are minimal...Rule 5 dont expect anything good from anybody, everything will be pleasant surprise then.. The philosophy I developed ...:)

It depends on what they have done and if this is a pattern. More than likely, it is a pattern and something that is done quite often. I've had my share of backstabbing two faces and with age it gets easier to walk away and never look back. Who needs that in their life? Many people have some difficulties and to have someone close to them making things worse is quite unneeded. You are in a difficult situation, in that you share clients and live right across from her. I would consider moving if I were you. Because you have been friends, she can make your life miserable with your neighbors. Often, trying to work something out between myself and the offender, I have been hurt even worse. They care not to see what they have done, but enjoy throwing it back at their victim to cause the victim to believe they are at fault, not the perpetrator. Therefore, I do not even attempt to confront them any more, I just simply wipe the dust from my feet and move on. But perhaps, you may have more mentally stable people around you and they may just come to terms with themselves. BTW-writing anything can be a problem for you. Web spinners have a great habit of turning things back on you, and those written words can cause even legal troubles if they can manipulate it to the authorities. I was warned long ago by a friend in law enforcement never write anything to someone who has harmed you. Be careful! It is difficult to confront in person because they will most always turn it back to you; even so, if you feel you need to confront them, do so in person and do not leave messages, notes, letters, emails, blogs, etc.

Hi Opal! For any problems related to other people when there is no way to solve the problem telling or asking fro the truth will always be the last and only chance to solve it.It would hurt them but they should know it's hurt us as well. When I encounter with the same problem I will ask and discuss with them what has gone wrong and ask them to tell me the truth. Only then I would decide what action should I take. Otherwise it will hurt us more.

Having a friend is more likely to have brother and/or sister. Trust is the best gift that can be offered to your friend at the end of the relationship,but then extra precaution always go with it. Friendship is always tested and no matter how long it has been the hurt of giving up must be accepted. You can forgive and do not carry with you the bad experience with them, take it lightly and start all over again but do not forget you have already the scar of what had happened and so just be very careful in dealing with them.

i would feel like the same as you,but it all happened,ill try to be patient,and dont forget all people can do something wrong even for bestfriend,

I had a friend like this, who I met, and got on with so well that I introduced her to my friends. She seemed to get on well with them, and settled into our group quite well. I had to fly home to visit family for a few weeks, and my husband was unable to get the time off work to come with me so he stayed here. While I was gone, she met with him for a drink and proceeded to tell him that I'd cheated on him with at least 5 different men. All untrue and my husband saw right through her little act. When he called me and told me what she'd said, I hit the roof! When I flew back, I texted her to let her know I was back, and she was sweet as pie. We arranged to meet up, but unknown to her, a confrontation was coming. When we met, she had one of my friends with her. Immediately, I launched into her, demanding to know what she thought she was playing at. She immediately dropped herself right in it, saying that my husband had asked her if she knew that I was cheating on him. When I asked her how she knew what I was talking about, she didn't have an answer. She was told in no uncertain terms that I wanted nothing more to do with her, and neither did my husband. My friend that was with her called me later that evening, and I told her what had transpired. She'd known nothing about it, and was shocked. The story spread to my other friends and over time, they dropped her like hot potatoes. Turns out she'd been trying the same thing with a number of people. The only thing I can say is to drop these people who are making you angry, or hurting you. You don't need people like that in your life. If a face-off is inevitable, make sure you have all the facts of the situation beforehand. It will make your argument for your case much stronger.