do you think I overdid it? or I was Out of line?
By mansha
@mansha (6298)
India
April 22, 2011 2:33pm CST
Recently we went with my in laws and kids to a new fancy restaurant a real nice one for dinner. Since my husband was in washroom for long, I decided the menu with the help of the waiter and on my asking he very helpfully pointed out which dishes will be suitable for the kids and my father in law who avoids all kinds of spices. When the food came , everyone praised the choice of menu as it was delicious , non-spicy and something we knew my father in law can have without worrying over excessive oil etc. When the waiter came up with water, I just told him the food is excellent and we all are enjoying later he again came up to ask if we need anything , I told him thanks and praised his choice of menu and thanked him. not too long just a word that thanks for helping me choose the menu. Later on my husband criticized me for being over thankful to the waiter, as he said I got too excited and over did it he was just doing his job, instead I should take care of how I behave and it would have been proper to thank him when we were about to leave and not in between and that also twice. I see no harm in praising someone for going out of their way to be helpful. I actually liked the fact that he allowed me to take my time while helping me with choosing the menu. What do you think did I do something wrong?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
22 Apr 11
No, you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds to me like the waiter did a good job. And to often people are rude to their waiters. So many people think of waiters as servants. I think the fact you made sure to thank your waiter shows that you know how to treat people and you are kind.
I praise you for your behavior.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Oh don't doubt yourself!
I have seen multiple situations when a customer was being rude to their waiter and I just couldn't stand it! Believe me, they appreciate even a little kindness, and you showed a lot! Good for you!
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
22 Apr 11
Your husbands issue may really have been that the menu was not his choice and that you his wife was "better" then him
1 person likes this
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
25 Apr 11
Yeah a lot of the time with guys it's an ego thing.
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@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Personally I do not think you overdid it and was out of line. If anything this was more than they usually expect and personally this probably made the waiters night and he was proud and Happy he could be doing such a good service for you. This will also encourage him to do a better job from now on. If your husband thought you were over doing it he just needs to realize it could have been Poor service and you could have been complaining and that would have been even worse.
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@jillhill (37354)
• United States
23 Apr 11
I don't think you did anything wrong....there is nothing wrong with telling someone who went the extra mile how much you appreciate them...and he did go the extra mile. I have been in some nice restaurants where the server didn't know much about what was going on at all!
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@Rapuncille (597)
• Philippines
22 Apr 11
No need to be sorry about it i guess. There's nothing wrong with thanking him for he had been helpful. Yes, it is his job, but i guess he deserves all the commendation for doing his job well and for going beyond what is just necessary. Gratitude in your case was not overkilled. A few words of thanks is not beyond what should be called as proper i think not unless the whole night revolved only on topic of the waiter helping you pick out your menu for dinner. That i guess is overdoing it. I don't think that's the case 'coz if it is, it might really be a bit of annoying really for the whole family who went there to get together and to catch up on each other's life but ended up just talking about the food and the waiter.
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@mansha (6298)
• India
22 Apr 11
no that's my point it was not like that twice only I thanked him for his suggestions and I felt it was appropriate , okay once I spoke first but second time I just added it as an after thought when he again approached us to ask if we need anything else. In fact it was not me but my father in law and my husband who were praising it too much that prompted me to let him know that his help was appreciated.
@lyamsitiy (104)
• Philippines
23 Apr 11
Based on your story, i don't think that you overdid it. I would probably do the same if i were at your shoes. The way i perceive it, your husband is jealous, maybe because he took your kindness to the waiter as minor flirting. Even though for you it was just nothing but then actions maybe misinterpreted by other people and in this situation it was your husband. I'm not married so i don't know hoe to handle jealousy in married couple but i think proper communication may resolve the issue if he's still jealous.
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@EnslinPorter (1718)
• Philippines
23 Apr 11
I think what you did was appropriate and wasn't out of line in any way. While some waiters would just be lazy and only do what is asked (and might even be already boiling up inside), your waiter went the extra mile to help your family out with the menu and give you a pleasant dining experience. Sometimes, getting a "thank you" or several of it is enough to keep someone motivated and going. He did deserve all the thanks for his A-OK service so your gratitude wasn't overdone. 
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@allknowing (137781)
• India
23 Apr 11
May be you over did it a wee bit without realising it. At the same time it is not such a big issue for your hubby to talk about it. I think you should forget and move on.
@tiffnkeat (1673)
• Singapore
23 Apr 11
Mmm...I think your husband is jealous you are showering too much praise on the waiter and not on him for bringing the family there. Guys are jealous creatures, so be careful. What you did is not wrong, but half-way. Next time, remember to thank your dearest for agreeing to go to such a wonderful restaurant where there is wonderful service (without mentioning the water in particular).
Cheers!
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@chocokreme (319)
• Philippines
23 Apr 11
No. You didnt do anything wrong. You just thank the person because for you he provided an excellent service. Youve just appreciate his kindness in assisting you. Theres nothing wrong with it.
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