But what if you Stay together?

It is really sad that the children have to go through such things as this. But I think it's better for the parents to try and get help and to work things out for the children; but that's probably easier said than done for most, That's why it is so important to come to Jesus Christ and to teach children about the Lord. Jesus says "Man's goings are of the Lord's, so how can man understand his own way?" We need God's guidance for life.

I agree with you (sorry Dr.Phil...though you do give sound advice most of the time). I've seen many couples who 'stay for the children' and it's pretty obvious to the kids that the parents hate each other. In a way, the kids blame themselves for this daily conflict happening around them. They grow up unable to do anything about it except blame themselves...because the parents ARE together for the sake of the kids. What benefit it does to any of the people involved, I cannot for the life of me understand. Such 'fighting couples' are better off separate...so that the children do get to see the positive side of their parents...the side that is good and adult and able to not get affected by the negativity that they are living in. I'd say...do the kids a favour and separate if you can't figure out how to live together peacefully. Having said this, I also believe in compromise on the part of both partners. But if there's no basic love (as a human being) and understanding between the couple and the lack of which shows in each and every action of theirs, then I don't see the point of 'staying for the kids'.

If my parents had stayed together, I'd have left home as a teenager. I would not have been able to stay in that environment.

It has everything to do with how the parent represent themselves! I got a divorce before anyone got hurt seriously....and that was a real issue! I bought a house and turned it into a home...my kids had all the things everyone else's kid had...with the exception of a dad living here...a dad that used to slap them around...a dad who critized them and never had a positive attitude! So they lived alone with me...all three are very successful...have college degrees and are happily married!! So Dr. Phil....stuff it!

Tough question. Of course the best solution would be to have the parents stop fighting and stay and be a happy family, but we know that doesn't always happen. I think it depends on the level of fighting. If it's really mean and nasty it probably scares the kids a lot. On the other hand I doubt divorce is ever easy. I was fortunate my parents stayed together and I can't imagine how I would have felt had they split. Yes I heard them arguing but that was easier than divorce would have been, I'm sure. I have always thought there should be tougher rules for getting married in the first place. We have all kinds of education and testing for every license except a marriage license. Perhaps it would make a difference if Marriage counseling before the ceremony were mandatory.

Its a tough situation to be in. I have a friend, and he wishes that his parents just split up because he hates the fact that they live in the same house but his parents hates each other. I think that divorce wouldn't necessarily end up having children like that if the involve couple are having a good relationship. Stats for children of divorce parents are more on the negative side because they are living in a negative environment. A divorce might necessarily be negative only if it would be settled properly, but we all know its less likely that couple who settle for divorce would be in good speaking condition. Couples who stay together just because of the kids may have the same effect on the children of divorce parents because they see their parents fight all the time.

I agree. There is sometimes a much sadder existance if parents stay together. There are children that witness abuse in many forms by unhappy parents staying together. It is lose lose sometimes. I guess that we have to pick the best of two bad choices sometimes and work to make it the best one. I wouldn't stay with someone I wasn't happy with...we only have one life and being miserable is not how I want to live mine.

Divorce ha many concern. Children of divorce cope ith a great deal of emotion and turmoil. not an eay road to travel on.

Hi behen This looks so gloomy from the kids point no doubt about that. I dont know why people do such kind of things... I mean they can have everything with proper preacutions and avoid the kids thing. Such parents have no right to bring kids to this world and make them suffer... kill their innocence and ruin their future.

hello, I have a broken family, And as Dr.phil state it is true but I did not do that my cousin does because she also has broken family as mine. I did not do that because I am soo pity with my mom if i will gonna do that she is the only one who raises up and I need to return it good because I am thinking she never failed to give up when we are struggling that kind of matter. So, why should I give up to? I don't have the right to give her bad habits because she's the only one that we have. My cousin also experience it, well she do reverse and I don't know when she'll gonna stop it. Until now she don't like to finish school, and still looking for her bad influence friends. I wish all will change for her.