how do you feel about significant others going through your phone, email, etc?

I have a love/hate relationship with this. Sometimes, I just let it go, but there are other times that I get angry when I catch him going through my text messages. At first, it seems that he doesn't trust me, that he is curious of who I talk to and what I say. It's not that I have something to hide. Naturally, one feels violated when his or her privacy is, uhm, violated. Well, I just recently learned that the problem is not his trust in me but his self-esteem. He is worried that he does not make me happy, pushing me to have an affair or flirt with other men. We have not talked about it since. I am trying so hard to assure him that he can trust me, that I love him and that I feel loved and happy that I am in the relationship. Try to talk to your guy. Maybe there's a deeper reason why he goes through your stuff.

hi misc, We have this word privacy even you are partners you still have limitations he is your significant others not a stalker or an investigator try to talk to him in a nicest way let him feel that he must trust you and you don't like what he doing to your stuff. Privacy is still important and each one should respect it happy mylotting

Privacy hould remain privacy. going through the mail and phone of other hould not ne taken lightly. I enjoy my privacy and i ould repect your too.

That's one jealous boyfriend you have..and that's going to be hard to be a topic of your conversation coz he might not probably listen or may start an argument.. but you can let him feel that you also need your privacy as to how you also respect his privacy..hope both of you can sort it out.

You are right to expect privacy and especially since you asked him not to. However, IMO I wouldn't type anything on the Internet that you don't want him to see. Maybe you could just share those things privately with friends? It is way too easy for anything you say on the Internet to be read by anyone. I would be mad too...good luck to you, trust is sooooo important in any relationship.

My boyfriend is always holding my phone he is reading all the sms messages and asking who is that, i just keep telling him. for me in my phone it is ok because he is my boyfriend about the mails for me it is ok also because i don't have any secrets the big thing that i got mad is when i saw a sms from other girl telling me that "so you are the new girlfriend of my ex boyfriend huh " knowing that we are almost 7 months i got mad, but if my cousin mother or sister is browsing my phone lap top e mail and others i got mad i don't know why maybe because that s my gadget and hello!? we need to have privacy.

it's not acceptable behaviour. if you trust someone you respect their privacy. if they want to share something with you, they will. wanting to keep your privacy doesn't mean you have anything to hide. everyone needs some private space. lots of people say that if you are in a relationship you should share everything, but I bet those same people wouldn't want their partner in the room when they're pooing. it's illegal to open someone elses post. so why do people think it's okay to check someone elses e-mails or phone. it just shows a lack of trust.

i will feel bad but my partner and i usually do not do such things. but we look at our phones once in a while in each others presence. there is no intention though of rummaging on personal things. even our wallets are not exclusive to each other. i mean, we do not have that mentality that we have every right doing those things. it is just not fair.

i feel that its inappropriate & an over invasion of privacy, unless both are totally cool about it, like u see mine, i see yours, & both acknowledge that its just that we are concern over each other & am just bored so .. (of cos its abit weird but it does happen). I think its important u talk to your bf nicely & ask why he does that, though u prolly know that he is just concerned & insecure.. :)

hello, Yes, it happened to me when I was in my present relationship. I know he trust me but that is not unfair reading my private property. Do i dont have privacy since we are together? that's what i told him. I really get mad that time. And I never talk to him since then. And then he feels really sorry about that, that is why now he never do that because he know i dont like that.

For me its okey, anyway, I'm already married and I've got nothing to hide. Me and my husband do this sometimes and we don't mind at all

Hi misc11, I don't like interference in my privacy by anyone be it my parents or my hubby. When i was in a relationship with my hubby, I always made sure to lock my phone messages. Even he was very conscious about locking his mobile phone. But one day i saw him going through a personal conversation between me and my dad, I got really mad that day. He promised that he is never gonna do that again. He did actually keep his promise quite well. So, no more interference. Thank God!

It seems you have different levels of trust. Maybe he doesn't trust you, and maybe you don't trust him because you don't want him to see your private emails. Some people think their partner should share everything. I was one of the people who look through the partner's emails. By doing this I discovered that my partner was lying to me about looking for other partners.. I found that he had sent emails other women asking for their phone number and their picture. Before I found this, he told me to trust him because he wouldn't do such a thing. Once I told him I saw the emails, he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. But then I broke up with him and he started crying about it. In your case, if you want the guy to look at your emails, you could tell him seriously that you want to be seen as an independent person. Making it clear that you consider yourself independent from him might show him that you have boundaries to keep for yourself.