Dating a guy who is in it for other reasons and has cultural differences
By sashakiddo
@sashakiddo (1102)
United States
April 23, 2011 11:34pm CST
I'm with a guy from Thailand who is very mature in some ways but immature in other ways. He's very accepting of differences and friendly. But he is also very lazy and he won't get a job.
Sometimes I think he's with me for reasons other than love. Maybe to show his family that he can have a girlfriend, or to have someone who makes money. One thing that adds to my suspiciousness is that when he talks on the phone to his parents he always talks in Thai. Also, he always lies to his family.. saying he has a job when he doesn't. He says he doesn't want them to worry about him, and I can understand that. But I don't think he should try to impress them when he isn't doing anything. Do you think I have a reason to be suspcious?
2 people like this
8 responses
@Margajoe (4728)
• Germany
24 Apr 11
Yes I do think you have a reason to be suspicious.
My last boyfriend was like this.
Said all the right things, everything I wanted to hear.
He was going to help me with everything.
With payments, with cleaning the house.
Yes, he could talk. But, he was so lazy!
Lived with me for 3 and a half years.
Now I get left with money problems for the next 5 years!
Get rid of him while you can. Many more fish in the sea.
He is not the only man around.
A real man has a job and looks after his girl.
(No offence to men that are good to there partner, and have a hard time getting a job. )
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
24 Apr 11
aww, at least you can say you tried. I don't want to cut it short and regret it for what may have worked out.. if things don't get better in a while, i'll be sure to leave.
1 person likes this
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
hello sasha,
We always be suspicious to the person we don't know we never know what their intentions can be, i don't understand why he would impress you by telling a lies for sure you will not be impress by that besides he should act natural if he really wants to impress you if his intentions is really good.
have a nice day!
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
24 Apr 11
he isn't trying to impress me, he's trying to impress his family. he acts like a regular guy around me, I know how he is.. fun to be around but lazy and irresponsible.
@Princelierocks (817)
• India
24 Apr 11
Well i think if you are going for suspicious thing then i think first you should get things clear.. Being suspicious is not the option you should talk to your BF about these issues, if he is lieing to parents then you should make him understand true that his parents will be hurt hearing that he is not doing a Job. But lieing now and then regretting very heart breaking. As you are his GF you should support him and change his behavior love can do all things.. Be a little strict with your BF and iam sure he will show you some change make some changes in your love.
@cowboyofhell (3063)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
This may come sour to your eyes but in lots of relationships the lowness by the man is because of the lowness by the woman. If all a girl do is count the man's mistakes and not ask him what's wrong, is that cooperative? If all she do is hurl suspicion and accusation at him, does she understand how hurtful it would be for him especially that those were baseless? Wouldn't it be a shame that a girl have no idea how to level the bad weather the man had been experiencing all the time? There is a whistling hypocrisy around here kind of like denial of own flaws. Well, it is way easier to point the bad others have.
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
25 Apr 11
I can understand what you mean, I do admit that I haven't been very sensitive to him. I just don't know how much understanding is too much. I have supported him, lending him money when can't afford rent, giving him things that he would like. Whatever I do though, it makes him lazier. He says he needs time to find a job that is good for him but he doesn't really try. I am with him all the time so I know he doesn't try. He always pays me back for what I give him, but that is with his parents' money, not his own.
@ladyartemis (3)
•
25 Apr 11
I've been with a guy for eight years and we in fact had kids.
Being with a guy that lies to his family has many different reasons. And I believe that one of the reasons he's doing this is it's hurting his ego for his family to look down on him for he's a laid back male.
To be suspicious to him? Unless he's supporting his family even if he's not working, there's nothing to doubt. With this, he could be supporting from a very suspecting source but since there's none, there's nothing to worry besides his NOT BEING HONEST TO FAMILY that could lead to NOT BEING HONEST TO YOU ONE DAY.
@albert911 (168)
• Thailand
24 Apr 11
There is a saying out there, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck - perhaps, it is a duck! Thai people are a particular kind of people and it takes time to understand them, there ways of thinking and reasoning, and all.........
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
24 Apr 11
yes, it is hard to understand.. they are a very unique culture. I try not to criticize but then being understanding is just letting him be lazy..
@sswallace21 (1824)
• United States
24 Apr 11
I don't know how long you've been together, but I would not even consider the word suspicious. I would consider leaving a man who doesn't want to help support our way of living. He needs to stop being lazy and get a job. That's what I would tell him. But that's me.
