we do not see things as they are,we see things as we are.

Yes I agree with you,this aspect of thinking and caring for ourself goes way back.I think it's a human condition self preservation.I tend to believe we are build like this,so calling it instinct or reflex works as well.Even if we don't realize it all the time,we still do it.People can call you selfish and all that,but I think it's somehow normal or unwilling.Care for those who help you they may want something in return in the near future.

It is hard to think about others when we don't understand them , and we don't think from their angle even if the point of view is clear , when there is no silver lining in my life , and all is lost even if I try to think of others , I cannot the pain is too great to overcome , but when we think from other perspective sometimes maybe there is just some confusion of who we are , seperated or whole and I feel that I will lose something which is myself

I don't think like that, I am always thinking "If I were him/her". but of course I do think for myself at first, then afterwards there goes the other person, no matter what the situation is. bah! I don't know how to put it in words. LOL

I a gree that we don't see things as they really are. we see things the way our mind wants us to see them. it is our own point of view that we sometimes can not get by. we should try to see things as they really are but our judgments can deter our path.

I think we do see both sides of the coin, no matter what actions we take. I guess a good example of what I mean would be a father of ten children working seven days a week, 12 hours a day. He does not want to be working this much nor does he enjoy it, and he is not keeping any of the money for himself. All of it goes to his family and to feed his children. In this case, he is not thinking of himself at all but only of his family. But I also do think it is human nature to protect ourselves and make decisions to better ourselves.