Does she like me?
By snam23
@snam23 (3157)
United States
April 24, 2011 11:26pm CST
I'm a male high school student. I went to prom with one of my female friends. We danced, took pictures, and had fun but she was sick and really tired afterward. On the bus ride back, she told me "I wish I had a pillow" so I offered her my shoulder to sleep on. One of her best friends was sitting behind us with her boyfriend/date. Her friend kept waking her up to talk to her but when she finally fell asleep, they were taking pictures of us. (I know cause I saw the flash).
Anyways, while she was sleeping, she grabbed by arm and held onto it the whole time she was asleep, sometimes adjusting her head position and grabbing different parts of my arm.
At the after party, she mostly hung out with me but that's probably cause she knew me the best and wasn't close with anyone else.
What does this mean? Does it mean she likes me? Or does it mean she's just comfortable around me and was really tired?
Background info:
She and I have been friends for a year. There was a time when people thought we liked each other. I always have fun when I'm with her and she seems to also. We go to the same school and are in the same grade but don't see each other often. We have different friends but we talk to each other friends' also.
So I would like to hear your thoughts on this situation and I can reveal more information as needed. Thanks!
2 people like this
16 responses
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
25 Apr 11
I think you have known her long enough to ask her if she likes you. Sounds like she does, but why not ask?? You could offer your feelings about her first..like 'I really like you' and see what she says, or you could just ask her. Good luck :)
3 people like this
@snam23 (3157)
• United States
25 Apr 11
I'm scared to ask because I got out of a relationship two months ago and am still sad that I lost a friend in the process. I don't want to risk our friendship for selfish reasons. Also, if she said no, I don't want it to be awkward but thanks for the advice!
1 person likes this
@emochique0712 (37)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
I know sometimes it gets scary when you try to risk something especially if the person is important to you but if she really considers you as a real friend, she won't change whatever you have now if you ask her. But before you do that, youhav eto ask youself if you also like her. You might wanna tell her jokingly. Assess her reaction and knwo where you should strike.
1 person likes this
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
25 Apr 11
I agree with emochique!
If I were you, I'd do it in a light or joking way.
HOWEVER..think it over and if you still feel it's not a good move, go with your instincts..I have in the past regretted listening to others advice against my own better judgement..we are rooting for you :)
@redvakaurvaki (4216)
• Indonesia
25 Apr 11
I get two points : she's comfort being with you & she trust you. But it doesnt mean "like" or "love" because both of you known each other for long time. If you want to know, you really must ask to her, does it best friend do or something more?
3 people like this
@snam23 (3157)
• United States
25 Apr 11
That's why I don't know what to do if anything at all. But I feel like her other best friend is trying to hint at something and figure out how I feel about her. At the same time, I don't want to do something stupid and make it awkward between us.
2 people like this
@redvakaurvaki (4216)
• Indonesia
26 Apr 11
snam23, so here, the matters thing is you have to tell her what you feel. I dont say it's easy because you both are best friend. You may started with an action, brave is needed, try to get closer with her, doing something like more just best friend do, you may give a rose, have dinner or ask her to spend saturday night together, then see her response, if she looks comfort and enjoy the attention you gave, then you know what to do : say it!!
gardengerty... sweet story, god bless you, that's right to be honest before it's too late, we never know what will happen later, just give your best and let it flow
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
25 Apr 11
I cannot comment on how this girl feels but it does sound like she certainly cares for you as you have been friends for a long time. The way she rested her head on your shoulder while she slept indicates a great deal of trust on her part. Friendship and trust are certainly very important foundations for a relationship. I would talk to her and ask her out on a date. You don’t have to make it very serious to begin with, you just have to find out how she feels about you. I say, go for it or you will always wonder...Good luck, let us know what happens!
3 people like this
@allknowing (137747)
• India
25 Apr 11
I belong to the old school of thought which is that while studying handling a relationship simply does not fit in. It will interfere with one's goals and so if you want my advice just be friends and see where it ends.
2 people like this
@QeeGood (1213)
• Sweden
25 Apr 11
Obviously when she accepted your shoulder as a pillow for her to rest up on. She even fell asleep holding your arm. She trust you and feel comfort by feeling her body touching her body. When you are close friends having confidence in one another you do like you did. Your friendship has good potential to grow into what you both want it to become. You can bring up a similar story to her. Like there is a boy who has been close friends with a girl. He has developed feelings for the girl, but he doesn't know how to say it. He would like to find out if the girl feels like he does. Ask her what she would do if she was in the boy's position.
You can also give her flower, see her reaction. Ask her out for a picknick at a romantic place to see her reactions. You can look her in her eyes for a longer moment with a loving smile in your face to see her reaction. If she ask you why, you can say I am very lucky to have her as a priceless friend.
2 people like this
@snam23 (3157)
• United States
26 Apr 11
Hmmm that is a good idea but I don't think I could pull it off because I'm a bad liar and I went to her for advice when I was dating my other friend so if it backfires, she would realize it I think. But thanks for the suggestion!
I think I will wait on the flower because her reaction when I asked her to prom was very questionable, especially at the time. But thanks for all the advice! It really helps! 
@GardenGerty (160952)
• United States
25 Apr 11
I think she likes you, she went to the prom with you. It may not be deeply serious, but she is obviously comfortable with you, and trusts you, or she would not have gone to sleep. It is a relationship that seems to have potential.
@snam23 (3157)
• United States
25 Apr 11
Thank you for your thoughtful observations.
I guess I forgot to mention how nice she is. I don't think she would have said "no" even if she didn't like me. She's just that nice but I guess I should always consider everything.
I guess so, and it does seem significant that she slept on my shoulder instead of, say the window or something.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
25 Apr 11
It sounds to me like she may like you more than just a friend since she seems to be so comfortable with you. I would just ask her how she feels about you, if only friends or is there more than that?
@RobtheRock (2433)
• United States
27 Apr 11
I think that by going to the prom with you thati appears she likes you. I feel the female myLotters can give you a better piece of advice than I. I can say this though, she has allowed you into her personal space (example: "she grabbed by arm and held onto it", "shoulder to sleep on") which means to a degree that she likes you. But I'll tell you as an older person that the female is very hard to figure out and although frightening, you'll have to find out on your own whether she likes you or not. I was shy when I was young and afraid to find out if the girl liked me. I found out too late that she did because usually, they have another boyfriend when we find out. So go for it and if she wants friendship only, it will hurt your feelings, but there is always the possibility that as friends, you will end up being boyfriend and girlfriend. 
@cikers (18)
• Philippines
26 Apr 11
If i were you i shall not spoiled the surprise, build a good relationship and do not let go off here. I mean make sure that you are always on her side until such the right time, you can spelled the beans. If you love someone you don't care about time, even it takes a more time to build it. Deserving someone is not just that easy, Effortless is not a good one.
@Slavaa (25)
• Canada
26 Apr 11
No matter what happens, I can say with fair certainty (the certainty of experience...) that you would regret not doing anything more than you would trying and failing. That means that even if failure were guaranteed, it would still be worth it to try. And, from your situation, failure is far from certain.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
25 Apr 11
snam23,
I am happy that you are able to enter a relationship at this early stage of your life and I hope that you will enjoy this relative happy time without adding undue pressure to yourself.
From what you have related, I have to agree with you that your friend does have a liking of you. However, as the both of you are still schooling, I am sure her priorities would no less be different from yours where the pursuing academics would not be second to relationship.
So, I would advocate that you enjoy this special friendship and companionship, letting time saunter out the path for the both you. At the same time, not pressurize any one including yourself into any undue pressure or imaginary commitment into what otherwise could be a good and meaningful relationship - always looking out for one another and be able to talk about anything under the sun.
I say enjoy the freedom and the building of this relationship which in due time will experience a baptism of fire to learn the eventual equation to a fulfilling relationship.
Lastly, I hope that whatever you do for this relationship will entirely be mutual between the both of you and not on others' dictated terms or ideology. Have a nice day.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Apr 11
hi snam23 I would say yes she likes you as the way you phrase your discussion she is very perceptive as you sound likeable to me. If
she is comfortable with you thats definitely a sign she likes'
you so just take that as a given. and be glad she does as you
like her so you can relax and know you are good friends.Perhaps
she will be your girl friend and that will be great and who knows
what the fu ture will be. You are both young and have lots of time to be happy.
