Are You Listening? Then What Did I Say?

My husband rarely listens to me when I talk. He told his mother that what I say isn't important to him. She chastised him saying that it was important to me. That was several years ago and he hasn't changed. It's like talking to a brick wall. I always have to repeat myself with him. I have just started recently saying, "Then what did I say?" with both my husband and kids. I remember using that a long time ago but I don't remember with whom? Parents maybe? I love it when I catch the kids off guard with that question.

I know the feeling. Specially after I have repeated it several time

I hear you Opal, (and I really did, I read every word here..lol) and I can't tell you how many times I am talking to a child or spouse only to finally say, "And I am just here talking to myself." My son of course would ignore me, but my husband would give some excuse like, "Oh, I am not with it today." or "I was reading this article." Annoying isn't it??? _

Yeah my husband can do that at times. He usually does listen, but if we're having a conversation late at night he sometimes starts falling asleep and tries not to show it. I'll ask if he's sleeping, he'll say no. Then I ask if he heard me.. he says yes. I ask what did I say.. he can't remember. He tells me "repeat the first few words". Usually I'm too frustrated to repeat myself so the conversation ends there.. but if I do begin to repeat what I said he'll usually remember after I say just the first few words.

Good morning Opal, i have one friend that calls me that i know she doesn't listen & i have called her attention to it, lol. I think they just like to hear themselves talk.

It is very frustrating, annoying and I actually wrote an article about it. I will add the link at the bottom of this. I try very hard to listen and show respect for the other person when they are saying something. So what do we do? Teach our children right! It starts with our own little circle. Being a good role model. http://www.bukisa.com/articles/20519_how-to-listen

I know my husband does not hear me and does not listen sometimes. It is frustrating. It was better when he had hearing aids but they broke, we do not have jobs and he does not think he needs them.

Actually, "hearing" is the act of noise meeting the ear drum, "listening" is the act of actually inserting attention to the act of "hearing". And, honestly, so many times, people only "listen" up to a point and then stop to start thinking about what they are going to say.

I'm sorry... I wasn't listening... A friend of mine accuses me of being deaf because I ask her to repeat what she said. It's not that I didn't hear her, but that I'm not paying attention and don't realize that she's talking to me until halfway through the sentence. Then of course she repeats the part I did hear, not the part I didn't, and gets upset that I still don't know what she's talking about. Or, she'll say something while going up the (creaky) stairs on the other side of a wall... Perhaps if you said your boyfriend's name before talking to him, you might get better results.

As near as I can tell, all men do this. Maybe there is an exception somewhere, but not in my experience. It is not useful to get mad over this as there doesn't seem to be much we can do about it. The only remedy I know of is to stop frequently to clarify as in "Is the reason you didn't answer because you don't know what to say or is it because you did not hear me?"

A very common problem, especially with the people you are close to. I find myself repeating again and again, like a scolding parent. Hubby likes to seemingly end a conversation and then when I have left the room continues to speak to empty walls, sure some of that could be hearing disability related to age, but I often wonder if it's just an excuse to later be able to say wife I told you so. Communication does not seem to get better with age.

Hi sweetie. I hear you. You can talk to your significant other till dooms day it won't sink in. It's frustrating. They never seem to pay attention. All they here is blah, blah. blah. But when they talk you need to stand on attention or the lecture.

Dear Opal I have taught Physics in colleges for over 45 years, in my claas of say 256 students i find 5 or 6 who are not attentive, their mind floats some where else, i asked them to leave my class, and they do it with great pleasure, because i have marked them present in attendence registers. Similarly in refresher courses, i find few who have joined it because they have to as per govt guidelines, but they are not interested in learning.. My wife, kids at home always hear what i say.. Thanks for sharing Cheers. God bless you, have a nice day ahead. Professor ‘Bhuwan’. .

I do that a lot. And as you know karma strikes back, it happens to me a lot too. When I have a really tired day and my friends just want to go on about how she did this and that and actually I'll be looking at them but I just blank out :/ Without me even knowing lol I call it a talent though I usually join the convo and listen everything but there are days when I can't help it. An on the other hand, I talk a lot so mom seems to not be listening to me. I get so mad I yell for hours and not talk to her for somtiems

Thankfully I am very fast in sensing when people are not listening to me.I immediately stop or ask them straightaway if there is somethin g else is on their mind and whether the person has time for me if it is important.

Opal26 hi yes I have a tablemate that i want to talk to but so many times I sit here and talk for five minutes then she goes" Oh what did you say didnt hear all of it? oh my g so I raise my voice as shes a b i deaf. I h ave had friends who do that to me. but for a husband to do that is almost insulting in my eyes. Ihate it when I have talked and talked and find out nobody had a clue to what I said. grrrrrrrr I used to not be as good a listener as I am now but my son when a kid woke me up to the fact that I was only half listening so now I do not try to multitask while listening to someone as its very rude in my eyes.

Constantly!!! I am always stopping and checking my guy friend by saying, "Now, what did I just say?" because he literally doesn't listen. He'll actually start talking in the middle of something I'm saying as though I wasn't talking at all. Or, I'll tell him something and he'll suddenly turn and ask me a question about what I'd just talked about as though I'd never said a thing and he only just then thought of the topic. He seriously pisses me off when he does that. I don't care how much ADHD he has, a little effort would be a nice change.

Oh gosh yes, I know several people who are suppose to be listening and apparently from their body gestures I can tell they really are not. Upon meeting my boyfriend I noticed he would do the same to the point that anytime I would ask/say something I would intentionally say, okay what did I say. I feel I have trained him so well now as he puts forth his full attention no matter what he is doing to face me so that I can see he is fully listening, lol.. sometimes I will intentionally say did you hear me and he will repeat word for word. I love it.

hello, Yeah, that's right. How annoying it was when you tell something and then after you finish you found out that he didn't understand what you are talking about. ha ha it also happened to me when I am talking to my boyfriend and i was so mad at him because I tell him an important matter but he didn't even pay an attention. that is why every time we talk to each other he really pay an attention now because he know that I will be mad at him again,

This does hurt at times. It just feels not right to have people around who does not listen to the things that you have to say. At times it gives you the thought to not speak at all. Its good to have these networking sites these days. It sometimes eases the pain of not having an ear that listens.