The first dairy,please help me change

China
April 28, 2011 4:43am CST
Today was sunny.I arrived at Dalian at a quarter past eight.I was so glad because I went to home.I have lunch with my parents.Then,my mother and I climbed moutain.When I arrive at the top of moutain.I was shocked.The view was great.I can saw the sea,buildings,trees and so on.It made me happy and excited.On the other hand,the air was fresh,I was enjoy it.After a long time,I went home and played computer games.Well,I also wrote the dairy.Please help me change it and share your experience.Thanks a lot.
1 response
Yheart
@Yheart (496)
• Indonesia
8 May 11
What do you mean by change it? Is it like this: It was a sunny day. I arrived at Dalian at 8.15. I was so happy because I went home. I had lunch with my parents. Then, my mother and I climbed mountain. When I stood at the top of mountain, I was shocked. The view was very cool. I could see the sea, buildings, trees, and others. It gave me happiness and excitement. Besides, the air was so fresh. I enjoyed it. After some times, I went home and played games on my computer. I also wrote a dairy.