Where's Daddy??

It is a shame that your husband lets you down and doesn't make a lot of effort to see your daughter anymore. Soon you will be divorced and in the mean time it is best not to talk about your husband. It would be difficult for you to say positive things about him. You could tell your daughter words of praise so she has a high self esteem. You should let the days and weeks fly past and not mention your soon to be ex-husband unless your daughter mentions him. In that case you could tell her you don't know when he is coming round.

I think that it is inevitable that your daughter is going to be fully aware of his efforts, whether they be positive or negative. Children usually emulate their biggest influence so I think its important for you to move on completely. Talking negative about him may come easy but it shows that you are still thinking of him. You really need to invent ways to keep your minds off of the past. In doing so I think you both will benefit and become more independent in your thinking.

For me just make the DNA test so that you find ways to know your dad.

Hey there, and a warm welcome to myLot! Sorry to hear you soon to be ex-husband not making the efforts to spend enough time with your daughter. I think it best to carry on daily as if he did not exist, unless she asks about him. Always try hard to not say anything negative about him, and allow her with time decide what and how she feels about him. This helped me with my own two and surely with time my two realized what they saw before them and were never influences otherwise. Wishing you all the best with your daughter.

Hi SHEREE1978 I think it's really important to never to say horrible things about your ex-husband in front of your child,(this can be hard I know ,especially if he is not making the effort to spend time with her,and you feel upset about this)let her know that her daddy and mummy both love her and even though you are not living together anymore,you both still care about her the same,if she gets angry or upset,let her tell you in her 5 year old way how she is feeling,give her lots of cuddles,is it possible for your ex husbands parents to be involved in your daughters life? maybe they can talk to your ex-husband get him to realize (though he should know anyway). that his daughter is the innocent in the break up of the marriage, and that she still needs her daddy in her life,she needs to know that he still loves her,she also needs to know that you and your husbands divorce is not her fault,can she visit your ex husbands mother and father now and then maybe during school holidays,it's important where possible to keep both sides of the family in your daughters life where possible. Don't try to over compensate though ,I mean don't try to buy her things all the time,to try and make up for her daddy not being around,do the normal things you would normally do,going to school,going to the park, etc. Not sure if any of this is of help.. All I can say is she needs to know that you both love her.. jojo732 jojo732

I have gone through this with my children. I told them that he needed to get his life in order before he could see them, and that the next time they spoke with him or saw him that they needed to ask him those questions because I didn't know. I always have done what I can to not badmouth him to them, because later on, you will get the blame for that. However, I have never taken the responsibility off of him for not seeing them either.