being a breadwinner is tough but a dependent is worse...
By jeanneyvonne
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
Philippines
May 1, 2011 2:57pm CST
Officially, there is no breadwinner in my family. Both my sibling and I have our own ways of income. He has his 5 to 8 job and I have my gigs aside form my sides. The money for the our household's upkeep is maintained by our aunt which is derived from a property that we rent to people.
There comes a time when bad fates storm in my life and leave me penniless. My smug brother always try to coax me to 'hold' a 'proper' job. Basically something that will keep me busy from 5 to 8 like him. I refused every time.
That when I became a dependent. Sure, bills are covered and everything goes smoothly. But my brother's ego drives me nuts. He tells me that I don't do anything even though I pick after him, prepare his food, do household chores and let him watch TV because that's all he wanted to do.
Though he is not a breadwinner, he is considered one in our family since he got the regular job and I'm the dependent since I do the unconventional job.
I don't know but I'm tired of this kind of situation. Do you think that just becuase a person who has a regular can be considered as a breadwinner? I do contribute to expenses though not as large as he does. Besides, they can't seem to get the idea that I'm working and earning despite the unconventional means I'm using. More likely they wanted me to be chained to a desk. I hate this scenario played again and again and I hate being misunderstood.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@piya84 (2580)
• India
2 May 11
Well how old are you.If you are adult then people are going to expect equal contribution from you for expenses.Even though you are doing all house hold chores people are not going to count it.I know its wrong but i have seen in many cases it happening.May be when you withdraw completely from chores then they will realize that you were doing something.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
2 May 11
Hi Jeanneyvonne. God created all of us the way HE wanted us. Some HE created to be farmers some HE created to bjoyful singers. Some HE created to be hunters some HE created to be seamstress. In other words God created us just the way HE wanted us to be. Don't trust in humans we will let you down every time but trust in God HE will never let you down for a single second of your life. If you believe and trust in HIM HE will make your life the way that HE see's fit for you. Who knows God may have chose you for a special reason.
http://www.shepherdschapel.com/index.htm
I am an old woman and have worked since I was like 16 and it was hard on me. Until I learned how to be a carpenter and I still struggle but I make birdhouses and stuff to sell and I love it that God sent me someone to teach me how to build things. You are what God created and you are prefect in Gods eyes. So keep the faith my friend.
I am an old woman and have worked since I was like 16 and it was hard on me. Until I learned how to be a carpenter and I still struggle but I make birdhouses and stuff to sell and I love it that God sent me someone to teach me how to build things. You are what God created and you are prefect in Gods eyes. So keep the faith my friend.
@acrossnation (773)
• Malaysia
2 May 11
I agree, take a break and let them rethink. This is not revenge but to get things straightened up. Do as he says go out and work maybe what he meant is go out socialize and get as much experience as you can. How old are you now? Why are you acting like his wife or servant? What you're doing now is against the current, go out and work or bring your work out, give a try for say one month then you update us how you are ok!
@neenie (343)
• United States
1 May 11
There are many jobs you can work where you are not chained to a desk all day, you just have to find the right one for you. I work with children and get to spend time with them all day. It's a very different job, but I love it.
I would much rather be a breadwinner than a dependent. I hate depending on people for anything, especially money. I once tried depending on someone. An ex-boyfriend told me to take time off from work and just focus on school... yeah, he went to jail not even a week later. So I don't depend on anyone anymore. Even if I'm just earning extra income, I still work.
@chocokreme (319)
• Philippines
1 May 11
Yeah its hard to be a dependent than a breadwinner. Though you're doing something to help out. They wont see it because they are focus to someone who's contribution to the family is greater. Most of the time it is the financial aspect that they would notice.
@iambeibygurl26 (2)
• Philippines
2 May 11
Simple things that you do are considered "great help", that is, in our own little way. You are not just doing your responsibility financially as well as providing your time and effort in doing the household chores. Don't belittle yourself. You are indeed doing a great job!Just don't forget to appreciate yourself first before asking approval from anyone.
@dlpierce (495)
• United States
1 May 11
I can't see where being self employed with money coming from various places isn't just as good or better than a regular job. As long as your content with what you're doing and helping out with household expenses that's all that matters. Looks to me like you're doing more than he is if he's letting you do all the chores as well.
