Help!What do you think of a long distance relaionship?
By LNDaisy
@LNDaisy (25)
China
May 4, 2011 2:09am CST
Dear everyone,I suffered a big problem,please help me!
I am a senior in a university.I have been in a relationship with Chris(my boyfriend)for 2 years.We love each other very much.Last day he told me that he decided to studied in Stanford as a PHD and it will spend at least 5 years.However,after graduation,i have to continue my studies in HongKong.So we have to seperate for a very long time.
HongKong and Stanford! at least Five years!almost 12 hours time difference!Thinking about that when I get up he just falling asleep.Thingking about that in the later five years I might have been taken apart in all my best friends'wedding!How can I overcome that?I think it is very difficult for me.please tell me how could I treat this serious relationship in the later five years.
In addition,Chris promise me that he love me and never betray me.Can I belive him?
1 person likes this
16 responses
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
4 May 11
Since i am old now and have experienced 2 failed long distance relationships during my younger years, i can honestly say, it's difficult to make a long distance relationship work.
In your case, 5 years. Wow that's very long. It's either you or him could not take the loneliness of having no boyfriend around during those events in life, such as valentine's , Christmas , new year to name a few.
While it is true that you could always communicate and see each other in the internet, physical presence is still preferred specially when one undergoes loneliness.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
5 May 11
Yes, go for the relationship, and enjoy it. Hurt is part of a relationship, but at least you already know the chances and just be prepared.
But as they say, "it's better to love and have lost than have not loved at all."
I did find my Mister right, my husband two decades ago. 
@edsss17 (4394)
• Philippines
4 May 11
Hi LNDaisy,
naaah. You're not alone with LDR... I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment! You know... The time, the time when you're lonely and when him but he's not there, if you need a hug, he's not there..
But as long as you feel there is still feel there is love, then there's a chance your relationship can survive..
Distance will surely test both of your trust, patience and love.. And if you pass it, then its true love!
@zhpshql (693)
• China
4 May 11
hi,LNDaisy..
well,I'd like to say that will be very hard for you...and harder for your boyfriend...
Five years is not a short time,,it's always too difficult to mentain a distant relationship,,especially for young...
Anyway,,I can't give you anysuggestion...It's all up to you ...^^
@toniganzon (72553)
• Philippines
4 May 11
The moment you will entertain doubts in your mind, it will eat you up. So never question his sincerity, believe in what he says if you want your relationship to stay longer even if you are miles apart. I believe that it could work as long as the trust between the two of you is there. A lot of couple can work things out when they're apart like talking on the phone everyday.
Sometimes i doubt if it would work because they would say out of sight, out of mind. But i wonder that there are people falling in love over the net without seeing each other yet and despite that fact, they can keep their love burning and eventually after a couple of years end up getting married.
So just trust him and say this to yourself: if others can make it why can't we. That is going to be your mantra from now on.
@gelayagui98 (1336)
• Australia
4 May 11
You know LNDaisy, long distance relationship nowadays is far different compared than before, we are now in a computer world you can have access on him anytime you want to, your presence is only the problem being away from each other but yahoo messenger is available for you to see each other while talking. It is really hard at first, because of being altogether for a long time, but little by little you can moved on, believe me because I have been through it. Its good for you because you are just into relationship - a boyfriend-girlfriend status of relationship, if really you are meant for each other the distance, the period of time is not the hindrance in your relationship. The trust and love grows deeper by time.
@oninomar (505)
• Philippines
4 May 11
Hi LNDaisy,
If the two of you really meant for each other even distance and time can't stop both of you. Just trust him, you already reach 2 years and still counting just have trust him. I'm girlfriend also away from me, but we always have time to call and check each other. Always have time to check his condition, it is really hard to imagine and the feeling of loneliness is still there.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
4 May 11
Honestly, I've been in a long distance relationship for about 5years now going 6 and it's really difficult. I can't even explain how difficult it is! I do believe it's better if you don't put your love to the test that way, if there's a way that any one of you can give up something and just adjust so that neither one of you need to be very far, then so be it.
There's no amount of trust and love can try to keep it together. There will be troubles and 5years is too long.
@LNDaisy (25)
• China
4 May 11
Thanks for your words. I have to say that how brave you are!To be honest,this relationship is also a long distance one and I have already spent 2 years on it.I know it is very difficult and it is very hard for us to insist. But I still want to try my best to overcome it just like you. Thank you very much and wish you have a happy ending.
@cieldz (709)
• Indonesia
4 May 11
Hello LNDaisy... :)
long distance relationship is kinda hard at the begining... but after few months, you will used to it... you can visiting your boyfriend every few months, or make it as a surprise... just remember that trust and communication are the keys for your long distance relationship...
dont give up for your love...!
d(^_^)b
@tecchigurl (672)
• Philippines
4 May 11
A long distance relationship is somehow difficult to manage. That's just what I think. I don't want to sound like sooner or later you will break up and everything. What I'm saying is that a long distance relationship could also be regarded as a challenge to lovers. If you both truely love each other, then you have nothing to worry about. Just trust each other and do your part as a lover.
@martinnshann (340)
• Bahrain
4 May 11
Hi there..
Long distance relationship is very difficult, it's not a simple issue to be handled. But the condition of your relationship is at your hands, both of you. Both of you will be the one in charge on how to manage each other. It's not that easy, there are some things to be considered like studies, quality time with each other, etc.. Distant relationship is very complicated, but as long as you're faith and trust and love is strong enough, both of will pass through this obstacles in your relationship..
Good day! Happy mylotting.
@lsdshrooms (214)
• United States
5 May 11
I recommend you guys take a breather and a break. It's going to take a miracle to stop you two from eventually losing some feeling after a long 5 years. After those years go by and you guys still love each other, then go for it, but I recommend you just let things play out.
@summer2011 (6)
• China
5 May 11
I don't kown much about long distance love,but at least now your boyfriend is in love with you,you don't need to make a decision now,time will tell you what will happen,now you just enjoy your love and life,and if it changes one day you can face it peaceful.
@kimii17kim (2)
•
4 May 11
2 years together, against 5 years apart. that doesn't sound like the odds are on your side.. 5 years is a long time. and for a testosterone filld male it can feel even longer. everyone is different though. and manny different scinarios that go into play like are there many girls attracted to him. has he ever been unfaithful in the past. ultimetly it is up to u but in my opinion after five years apart people change. absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. good lick
@jdsoka (6)
• United States
4 May 11
always be clear about your relationship with each other. don't assume that your long distance partners know's your feeling-share them. good or bad, be clear about how you feel about the relationship. let your partner clearly know your ambition, fear, feelings and desire. this will allow to your boyfriend to share something deeper as you both work together toward mastering your communication abilities.
@oninomar (505)
• Philippines
4 May 11
Hi LNDaisy,
If the two of you really meant for each other even distance and time can't stop both of you. Just trust him, you already reach 2 years and still counting just have trust him. I'm girlfriend also away from me, but we always have time to call and check each other. Always have time to check his condition, it is really hard to imagine and the feeling of loneliness is still there.
@gorila (186)
• Indonesia
4 May 11
long distance relationship or LDR is nonsense and it was a ridiculous. not intended to break you hope to be together forever with your boyfriend. but some of my female friends always failed in having LDR. most of my friends are always betrayed and abandoned by her boyfriend.
but it all back to you again. Can you keep your hearts and your boyfriend heart. moreover, not all men was playboys. for example was me.
