Dating someone without falling inlove?
By Skagen
@Skagen (12)
May 5, 2011 7:50pm CST
Hello Myloters,
I been dating this person for five months now. First, when we first meet we were both not ready for serious relationship and we both agreed to go out and see each other as friend, of course there's some sleeping over at his place involve. We see each other 1-2 times a week and I overnight at his place everytime we see each other. I been seeing him for 7 months now. The problem is I underestimate myself, I realize lately that I am falling in love with him and its kinda distracting actually coz I cant concentrate on my job. I wanted to stop seeing him because I know that if I dont see him anymore eventually what I feel now for him will be gone soon and I will be able to concentrate again on my job but there's one thing I know that could help me move on faster, I want to find out if his feelings for me is still friend with benefit or does he developed some special feelings for me too. One thing I know is he still see other girls and I would not judge him for that because I see other guys as well since we dont have BF/GF relationship.
Now for guys, can you really date someone and spend like at least 1-2 nights a week with that person and not develop any special feelings? I just want to know if this is possible.
Thank you Myloters
1 person likes this
4 responses
@martinnshann (340)
• Bahrain
6 May 11
Hi there!
In my opinion, I will not go on a date with girls whom I don't like( not yet love).. Of course I have a special feeling for her, but it's not yet love, may I just admire her or I have a crush on her.. In your situation, I think 7months is long enough for you to judge him that he don't have feelings for you..Maybe he's not just ready for a relationship or maybe she is not yet in love with you..As what you've said, he's still seeing other girls. But I'm sure that he does have a special feeling for you..
Good day! Happy mylotting. =)
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
6 May 11
Firstly, I don't blame you because you slept with the guy without really committing. However, because of such actions you now find yourself confused.
I think this is the main reason why people should not sleep with someone nor date someone continuously if there's no spark in the first place. Remember that even if the world is trying to equalize genders, you are still a woman and you will be vulnerable and would soon fall in love with someone even if there's no love the first time around. It's quite different for men though, I think if they are attracted the first time around, then they'd know their position is, the first time around.
I think your guy friend right now is just enjoying the benefits without having the responsibility of giving back. I's selfish but a friend of mine used to tell me: Why should a person buy the cow if he can get the milk for free?
Well, I guess you know what you should do.
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
6 May 11
I don't think I can do it. Even when I dated someone without love, I made some boundaries that he could not sleep with other girls and I would not sleep with other guys as long as we were together. If he wants to sleep with another then it's the end of the relationship.
I guess when you see someone that often for a long time, the relationship will develop to something else: either a bad habit or a romance. I hope you make up your mind soon just to protect yourself from any entanglements.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
6 May 11
I'm a girl but i have more male friends than female friends. And according to them, yes, they can sleep with the same woman again and again without falling for that woman. I have this one friend in particular who visited a "friend" regularly with benefits of course, and he never had any love for her other than friendship. Now he's happily married with another woman.
If you can talk to him straight out and ask him if he still thinks of you the same way, i think it would be much easier to move on. If he says no, then it simply means no.
