'I don't need your permission'
By SViswan
@SViswan (12051)
India
May 5, 2011 9:30pm CST
My neighbours are fighting again! I wonder why they don't close the main door when they are arguing...they probably don't even realize that we can hear them.
Anyway, that's the not the point. They are arguing about the wife going to her mother's home. Her mother is alone at home and the wife wishes to go stay with her for a couple of weeks. The husband, for some reason, doesn't like her mother and doesn't want her to go. The last thing I hear from the wife is 'I don't need your permission to meet my mother'.
That got me thinking. Does a spouse really need permission to meet a relative or help out if and when necessary? I thought of lots of situations and conditions. If the children are having their exams and it's not really possible to leave the kids alone or with the husband/wife to be away for a few days, then the kids and their exams might be a priority. Or if one of the partners or kids is ill and can't travel, then there's no way to help.
But can one partner tell the other that they can't go because he/she doesn't like the parent(in-law)? I don't think that's fair (but there are probably situations when it is fair...and I just can't think of any)....probably because I come from a close-knit big family where everyone helps everyone else out. I also feel that in this case if there was a valid reason and the wife did feel that the husband was justified, wouldn't she have opted out or not suggested going in the first place? It was very clear that she wasn't planning to tag the husband along or even asking him to accompany her. She said she wants to go!
This also got me thinking on another topic of parents and old age...but that's a topic for another discussion.
So, do you think it's fair? Does a spouse need permission to help a parent/relative?
8 people like this
21 responses
@derek_a (10874)
•
8 May 11
With me, it is up to my wife when she goes to visit with her mother. I have no objections or indeed have any right to make any demands of her. It is the same with me, that she doesn't interfere with me either. We don't ask each other's permission to do anything. When we were first together, it wasn't alway comfortable, but we had and still have, an agreement of trust between us. My wife's mother lives closer by now, but a year ago, she lived over 200 miles away and my wife often spent weekends with her mother. I could have gone, but I chose not to go, as I am not one to sit and listen to female chatting for long periods of time over an hour! This characteristic is accepted in me and I don't ask permission to avoid family get-togethers, and my wife doesn't ask or need my permission to do her own thing. Women are usually interested in different things to men and vice-versa.. I believe it's what attracts men and women, and women to men..
_Derek
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2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
9 May 11
That's the mature way to go about. My mother would visit her mom whenever she needed to. My dad would accompany her for a visit sometimes but never stayed there. We stay in a different state....so we usually travel together. when i go alone with the kids, I usually stay where it is comfortable..or depending on who needs me then.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (132209)
• India
6 May 11
"I am not asking you but just informing you" is an oft repeated line specially among teenagers when dealing with their parents. Among spouses specially here in India it is a foregone conclusion that the wife always seeks the husband's approval even if she wants to go to the toilet and the husband thinks nothing of it! But there are some liberated couples who consult each other before taking any decisions. There is however no love lost when it comes to the wife's family and this appears to be a bone of contention where the wife needs to use her wit and win over her husband.
No. A wife needs no permission. But they should consult with each other.
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@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
I know of women who do twist their husbands around their little finger....but personally I can never do it. I'm straightforward and don't like using manipulative means just to get my way.
I can only wait and see if this wife is going to use ANY means and go to her mother or just bear with the control freak and stay home.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
I agree it's the norm in India that the wife seeks the husband's approval. But this husband is just proving that he is has a controlling nature when she asks to go with due reason.
Even if he husband does not like the wife's family, I don't think he can stop her from doing her duty towards her family. If she was insisting that he goes along with her or she is insisting that he helps, then it is another issue...and I will agree that the husband has the right to put his foot down and say that he doesn't want to help someone he doesn't like/approve of. But how mean to tell her that she can't be with her mother who is alone?
Hmmm...guess that's how most families in India are, right?
@allknowing (132209)
• India
6 May 11
Winning over a husband is an art and wives should learn how to twist their husbands round their finger for good causes ofcourse!
. These disagreements are here to stay and I have also known wives doing their own thing as is it possible to bow down to the wishes of the husband if it drives her crazy? She has choices to make.
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@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
Hmmm...if that was the case, don't you think there would be a discussion rather than an argument? And I don't think looking after the house would be an issue because most apartments here (including theirs) has a maid AND a cook! Of course, timings might be a problem (if they come after the husband leaves for work)..but that is a compromise that the husband needs to make if necessary...and timings with the help can be worked out. What if the wife felt seriously ill and had to be hospitalized? He would have had to do something about it, wouldn't he?And in that case, if one of the extended family members would need to come and help, do you think they would? Relationships (all kinds) are about give and take, aren't they?
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
8 May 11
We women tend to think differently even about this needing people in times of crisis. Arguments happen when there is conflct of interest.I am not saying it is fair but that is how it happens. And, if a person is going to be unreasonable , no argument is going to change the situation.It is a waste of time and there is no choice except to grin and bear it.In this situation she has to leave the matter for now.Perhaps next time, he may relent. SOmetimes , when women argue more and more the man gets more bigoted and there would be a lot of acrimony building up. I wholly agree that it is a bg matter of adjustment.She has to be more philosophical about it and something would work out.If she goes after him adamantly it is just not going to work.
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@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
6 May 11
when it comes to marriage I am very, very old fashioned. In marriage I would assume the wife would have to ask to do Anything! But to many marriage is a partnership. In that case , then she doesn't have to get his permission. She tells not asks him about it!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
Hmmm...yes, there are different equations in marriage. Assuming that theirs is a relationship where the wife does have to ask permission for everything she does, does the husband still have the right to stop her from visiting an ill parent or helping out when her family needs her?
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
Hmmm...I see your point. But if I was a wife in such a situation and who believed that my husband is like a parent, I don't think I would sneak out. That is equal to deceit ....I'd probably feel very very sad....but resign myself to the situation.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
6 May 11
Sadly yes. To me if you are a wife , you give up your freedom of choice in All things. so yes if he says you can't go, you can't go, period. but that's when you sneak out. I see husband as another parent so lying and being sneaky is necessary to do what you want. That is why I see love and marriage as separate states. If a husband Really loved his wife , it would be he who is booking her travel plans to see her parents so she can focus on something else. He would offer to look after the kids or the house while she is gone. See I expect that from a lover and a friend but a husband would be Way too selfish to even think about my feelings.
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@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
6 May 11
Dear friend,
I just reminded a situation how one of my friend faced. He is living with his parents along with his wife. There his parents are old and his mother is suffering from high diabetics and pressure. His brothers are abroad, hence he is only one who is caring them and they also have a 5 years old child. But he is uncomfortable because his wife wants to live separately away leaving his parents along with a home nurse. Moreover at his wife's his brothers are living with their old age parents. Most often his wife's relatives come to their home. They all are very nice him. But my friend gets uncomfortable when his wife is not cooperative in looking after his old parents. Even if he ask her to give medicines to his mother, his wife hesitates and goes to toilet or bath room remains their, long time even more than an hour. Finally my friend has to give the medicine to his mother. Due to financial constrains he is not able keep a servant and also he is afraid if that would give another problems.
One day his wife went to her home taking along with her his 5 years old son also. Now she is staying with her parents and demands his to leave his parents and live separately. Even he had told the whole thing to his wife's parents they also requested their daughter to stay with her husband, unfortunately it was vain. Two months back she got a job in her uncle's organization and living separately along with her son and a servant. Now she is compelling her husband to stay with her in that house.
Here I feel both of them must see each others parents as their own rather separating and dividing it into themselves. Finally that could even go dividing their child and finally dividing themselves.
Moreover not to hurt anyone, there are natural laws that the creator had made, if we obey it would be well and good. A child obeys his parents and teachers but now it is far away, as women are physically weak than men but at times women even beat men, men should care their wife but at times men do not do that so on goes that natural laws and social laws. People who tend to move against it finally have to pay a heavy amount even their life.
I feel even the nature that is now has been distrusted as people goes against it and harms the nature that is same is happening in human families too we are going against the natural way and obliviously problems will arise.
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@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
Yes, Shamrack...you are right. Both husband and wife should respect their partner's family. Your friend's situation is a bad one...I sympathize with your friend. And I agree it's not right on the wife's part in whatever she is doing. Many of my friends also insist that they stay separately with their husbands rather than stay with the parents. But I personally feel that it is our duty to take care of them too.
I have also seen cases where despite the wife being loving and helpful to her husband's parents, she is not allowed to do the same when her parents need it and sometimes even being stopped from visiting them let alone help them.
One of my ex-colleagues (from Bangalore) was at Delhi during her vacations. She was staying at her in-laws place all the time...a few days before she was to return to Bangalore, her mother fell very very ill and was in the ICU at hospital. She went to be with her mother then...and her mother-in-law created a fit about some function that she couldn't attend in their home. My colleague was very very angry.....after her mother came home from the hospital...she went out and splurged on clothes and in the beauty parlour. She spent Rs 10,000!!!And only then was she relieved. Luckily for her, her husband was supportive.
All sorts of things we hear today.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
7 May 11
Another aspect I feel is that we have a western law and western way of educations system that is far away from Bharath culture. Now society is turning into a western culture, may be a colash of Bharath culture and foreign culture. At times I feel pity when those left overs of colonial rulers laws are still used all over Bharath. I feels that in each village of Bharath posses a seperate culture accordingly the law has to implemented after a better study on each villages or panchayats. Otherwise the families in India within few years will get into a big mess and finally it could effect the social condition in India. Look at China they have their own rules that protects their culture and its developments are well projected. Moreover Bharath would get a better image in the International scenario.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@cream97 (29087)
• United States
22 May 11
Hi. SViswan. I don't think that a wife should have to ask her husband permission to see her own mother. She is a grown woman and not a child. I bet if he wanted to go and see his mother, he would not let her stand in his way, huh? I do think that the two of them should discuss their feelings about how they feel about seeing their parents though. If his wife's mother is trying to break them up or speak negatively about her husband when she goes over to her house, then that would be different then. Her husband will probably not want her to go to her mother's house then. He should not control her because she is her own woman. Sometimes, I will admit that I have felt like telling my husband that he can't go to see his parents, but I know that is out of the question. I have some personal feelings about my husband's mom, especially. In the past, she has treated me very cruelly for five years while I was staying in her home. Then after those years, she still attempted to insult me, tease my kids and do anything that her evil minds tells her to do to me. So from that, I really did not want my husband to see her, at least. I knew that I could not stop him and I did not want to be selfish. I just felt like she did not deserve to see her son when she could never seem to treat me with respect. That is just how I felt in my case. But honestly, a woman or a man has a right to see his parents, I will do my best not to get in the way of that. I have been married for almost ten years now, and I have learned that I have to compromise and deal with issues the best way that I can. I can't be selfish because they is unfair to myself and to my husband. So, no, I don't stand in the way of him seeing his mom and he should not do the same thing to me either. It would be his choice, only, if he felt like he did not want to see his mom or father.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
25 May 11
That's the same way I feel. If my husband didn't like my parents or siblings, I wouldn't force him to meet them....and if he cares enough for me and my feelings, I would 'expect' him to be with me for social gatherings in the family...but not otherwise. I wouldn't take too nicely to him stopping me from meeting my family, though.
And the same would apply to him. If I have a problem with his family, I shouldn't be forced to interact with them on a regular basis. And I can't stop my husband from meeting his relatives.
Fortunately that's not the case with me and even though I'm not in extra-friendly terms with my in-laws...I visit them when I am in town and am cordial then.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
11 May 11
Here a spouse does not need permission to do anything, unless it involves the other spouse's property, as in "Honey, may I borrow your car?"
But I think there are many places in the world still where the women are expected to defer to their husbands in ways that do not make any sense at all in my culture.
Probably your neighbor man is less concerned with the wife's mother than he is with who is going to wait on him hand and foot while the wife is away. He probably does not want to have to make his own dinner, lol.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
15 May 11
No, that couldn't be the reason. They have household help to do the cleaning AND a cook too. The husband might need to make a few adjustments with the help so that they are done before he leaves for work....but that's possible. From the bits of conversation that I heard, it did sound like he didn't like the mother-in-law. But I don't that should be reason enough to not let the daughter meet her mother. She wasn't asking him to go along.
Well, she hasn't gone to meet the mother. I've seen her around...so the husband's wish prevailed.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 May 11
I don't think that one should ever have to ask for permission in an adult relationship. The problem is that all too often one will try to control the other and that never works. If both people were respectful, considerate and loving people then arguments like the one you witnessed just would not happen.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
Obviously the husband doesn't seem to be respectful, considerate or loving. The wife is still here. I saw her today.
In our culture, I've seen that many times the wife is considered like a child and it's not a relationship between two adults...but more of a parent-child relationship. I've always wondered how the kids in such a relationship viewed their mother - as one among them who could be punished any time for her mistakes or as a figure of authority..which she needs to be.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 May 11
No I do not believe any of us need permission to do what they want or feel they need to do. For this guy to tell his wife she can't go because he doesn't like her mother is plain wrong. It's selfish and wrong. She has to do what her heart tells her to do and if that means going away for a few weeks then so be it. In the end when her mother is no more, she won't have any guilty feelings because she did what she thought was right. He doesn't have to live with a conscience about her mother, she does.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
6 May 11
True marriage is a partnership and as such a little compromise is needed. I have been to see my father twice this week and the Boss has been out with her friends the same number of times also. We asked if the other minded and of course we didn't. Your neighbour's husband is being very selfish. She has only one mother and if she is needed then of course she should go. I must say that the relationship does not sound a happy one anyway. I'd have thought that he'd be pleased to be rid of her for a few days!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
I'm not very close to this neighbour but know they have pretty loud arguments with the door open. So, I am aware that they certainly do have problems...and it definitely doesn't sound like a happy relationship. I feel sorry for the woman that she can't go to be with her mother. She did say that she wasn't asking permission...she was informing him since she didn't think she needed to get permission....but the man was shouting and I guess they stopped. Well, I closed MY door before they stopped...so not sure what the conclusion is...but the woman is still here.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
What kind of problems? Depends on who needs them most at that point of time, right?
The year before last, I had to be out of town for 3 weeks for my college course. My younger son was around 2 at the time and I couldn't leave the kids with their dad to run the home, get them ready for school and go to work. My mom was in another continent....she offered to come and stay...but my aunt who is in the same country (but a different state) also offered to help. So, I chose to have my aunt here....and I am glad she was there for my kids.
When my sister got married,I had to be there a couple of days before the wedding but my older son had his exams till 2 days before the wedding. My husband and I discussed it and I went a couple of days earlier with our younger son....older son and dad stayed here another day...got done with the exams and started the next day. I had cooked what they needed....made all the arrangements and a day or two of managing the home and a then 7 year old wasn't a problem for my husband.
I didn't ask for permission...but we discussed it.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
6 May 11
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@megamatt (14292)
• United States
6 May 11
To hear people argue, no matter the circumstances, there is just something about that which makes me rather uncomfortable. Especially about matters like the one that you described. Obviously, you should be honest with each other, but asking permission does seem a little too strong. It is like the marriage is not the equal partnership that it is really meant to have been. Or so I have been told.
Of course, one must wonder if the other party would have felt they needed to ask for permission if the situation was flip flopped. I really do think that it would have not been the case. It is both cases where the argument makes it such as both people are very in the wrong. I don't think that permission should be asked, but at the same time, there should be some degree of honesty in between the two parties. Which can in fact be the problem.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
Well, the wife was being honest and I did hear her say that she wasn't asking for permission and she that she was telling him that she needed to go. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, this wouldn't be the case. He probably wouldn't even think it fit to inform her why he was going wherever it was that he was going(if he had to visit his parents).
@tink91879 (742)
• United States
6 May 11
I have had problems with my in-laws, including brother and sister in-law from the start, They all relied on my husband for to much, mainly money. They wanted something they called him and asked him to pay for it saying they wld pay him back, but never did. When we got together I watched this and voiced my concerns, but we wernt married and I felt I cldnt really say to much. I saw how unappriciative they were. One year he paid for his parents, siblings, aunt and cousin to go to Disneyland for a day with us. He also paid for their rental car. We got up early and drove the 7 hours. We got there when the park opened. We were only there 5 hours because everyone was tired and wanted to go home. His brother had school the next day. Etc. I was pissed. They didnt offer to pay for anything for us. His brother even wanted us to pay for his food. After we got married and had our first I told my husband no more. He was not their personal bank he had his own family to care for. I feel the spouses should talk about whats going on. Im fine helping family, but if their being stupid with their finances and appriciative or even give back, than why shld we make them a priority? I have a better relationship with his parents now, we have our ups and downs. His brother our relationship has improved too. His sister I pretend she dosent exist. My husband and I agree we prefer her to not be around our kids and we will never help her again. He has done a cpl things behind my back and it did nothing but start an argument because I felt he lied to me and i cldnt trust him. So spouses need to dicuss and agree so feelings arent hurt and so you can keep that trust with your partner. I discuss everything with my husband and expect him to respect me the same way.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
I totally agree on discussion...and there's always a chance that the spouse/partner does not like the in-laws. I personally don't see anything wrong in that as long as that partner is not forced to interact with them against his/her will. Choosing to be cordial is a choice that the person needs to make...and the I would respect that kind of a partner. But in this case, the husband is stopping the wife from going to help HER mother. I don't think that's right. I mean.....if the wife and her mother had issues and SHE chose not to go...I'd probably not think it's wrong...but here she WANTS to go and he isn't letting her. As long as she isn't forcing him to help, I don't see what the problem is. And in our culture, I don't think the husband would even bother to mention to the wife is his parents were ill or needed help. He would do so without any second thoughts on the matter.
Discussing by both partners and respecting their choices is a good way to go...as you have learnt from experience.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
6 May 11
Hi SV,
I am not sure whether you aware about the typical system in our state. I clearly remember my mother seek permission from my grandfather to go to her home, I think it is a matter of respect and in Kerala, when elder people is there they have to take permission, of course. At the same time I can't remember any situation he denied the permission and I am not sure whether she took permission from my father (lol) as I haven't heard the same even in once. After shifting to our own home I heard only she asks money from my father to go to her home (lol). But I know she was a good daughter in law than a good wife. She cared much on her in-laws than my father cared his parents.
Now the generation is changed much, in my case, on our visit, we are making some plans to visit every one including my home and relatives. Before moving from here, I used to threaten him ‘I will stay my home for one week’ (lol) and I know it never happens as time is very short and we have to visit everywhere. I don't felt that I need permission from him. Even my kids are free to move anywhere once we reach the native place. Here I want to go anywhere I am going with him only. The only thing I want to inform him.
I support this lady here, her parents equally deserve care and concern and it is his hubby's responsibility to provide the same. Unfortunately he dislikes his MIL, that may be his personal issue. He can't deny the right to his wife on any reason.
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@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
My parents mostly lived in a nuclear setup since we were in the Middle East. But I remember my mother mentioning that when she lived in the joint family, she had to ask my grandmother (mother-in-law) for permission.
With my father, he mostly took her wherever she needed to go because she couldn't travel alone in the Middle East. But in India, my mother would go to her relatives place or even my father's relatives place to help...on her own.It was equal responsibility for both families...no issue of my family or yours.
We were in Kuwait when my mother lost her father. She came to India alone...my father didn't stop her and there was no question of her not going....not even financial. When my father's father passed away,he came to India alone. Around the same time, my mother's mother wasn't well. After my father returned, my mother went to India along with my sister because she was too little to be left alone.I don't remember any arguments.
Even if my neighbour doesn't like his MIL, he can't stop his wife from doing her duty. She isn't forcing him to go along. She is asking to go alone (or maybe with the kids) That's not fair!
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
6 May 11
Personally I don’t consider it asking for permission but discussing the matter with the other person in order to find out how he or she feels about what the other wants to do. I do think thatt in this case the husband has no right to tell his wife not to go because he doesn’t like his mother in law! There is a difference between consideration for the other person. My husband and I are partners and no one is in charge, we talk about things and try our hardest to come to mutual agreement whenever possible...Most of the time anyway! LOL!
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@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 11
I agree. I don't think he has a right to stop her. If he doesn't like his mother-in-law and the wife insists that HE goes along to help/visit, then I think THAT is wrong...but not in this case when she wants to help her mom. Normal adults DISCUSS things...but I see in lots of cases (atleast in India), the wife is treated as a child.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (99882)
• India
6 May 11
That is a deep question. It differs, as you pointed out, as per context. If children are having exams, or if the spouse is sick and cannot manage without his wife, then it is not advisable.
I do think the wife needs to review her situation and I am only talking from Indian perspective. Out here, if the woman is not married, or divorced, she loses respect of the society, notwithstanding the kind of spouse she has had. So, it is upto her to weigh whether she wants to remain in matrimony, and put up with this kind of cruelty or get out of it and suffer the other form. Chances of husband straying also increase considerably in such cases.
If her mother is sick, her need to visit her is understandable. If I were her mother, I would try to keep my daughter's marriage intact, rather than express my loneliness and helplessness, ever so often.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
Yes, you are right.
But I just put myself in her place. We are two sisters and my father is working in Africa. Presently he stays there alone while my mother and sister are in India. If my father fell ill out there, there's no one to take care of my father. Or if my sister is away and my mother is alone and she is ill, I would want to take care of her...even if there are other relatives around. My mother would never express her loneliness or helplessness and if she ever came to know that I was the one arguing with my husband over the issue, she would definitely tell me that she never asked for my help and it's not necessary for me to be there. BUT as a daughter, I feel it is my duty to take care of my parents...especially if she is ill and has no one there. If my husband's mother was lonely, he would want to be with her.
My husband was raised by his grandmother and two unmarried aunts. 3 of them live in their ancestral home. Since the last year, my husband has felt that they are all getting old and even though they all their relatives around and his parents and another married aunt visits every week (and the married aunt and her husband practically help them out with every little thing that they need),my husband feel it's necessary that he visits them every month (we live in another state). I don't see anything wrong in that and have never stopped (not that my saying will stop him).My point is...if the husband has the right to be there for his parents, why not the wife?
But if I were the mother, even I might take the same stand and not express my loneliness and helplessness to my daughter.
@webearn99 (1742)
• India
6 May 11
What was the lady thinking. Such a waste of energy. There is no need for all that argument and drama! If she knows her husband, she just needs to inform him that there is a choice. Either she gets to go to her mother's or her mother will be invited to come with all expenses paid. I know men, particularly married men! I am one! The fellow will be on his knees begging her to go! Take it from me, there will be need to take permission and will not be necessary life long.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
That's a little manipulative, don't you think? I don't see the necessity for that(if I were in her shoes). And I don't think it's right either. It sounds more like 'I need to get my way no matter what'!
Why does a wife have to use this technique if she isn't doing anything wrong and it is a genuine reason?
I hope your wife knows this is the technique that will work with you :)
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
6 May 11
Hi SViswan
To answer that straight - In some families the spouse (mostly the woman) needs the permission. Thanks to the orthodox "men" in the family... but women too may be involved in case it is a joint family.
For us (me and my wife) she doesnt need any permission. No, not because she is the bread-earner, but because she knows that I have trust and faith on her and she can go anywhere without anything called - permissions. But, yes she does inform me about the plans and we do negotiate at times on the dates... but that is not about permissions... it is about adjustments that I can make or she can make.
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1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
Yes....it's not really about asking permission. I felt sorry for the lady literally having to beg to go be with her mother.I don't know what sort of person would deny that just because she NEEDS to ask permission.
The scenario at your end is how a normal nuclear family functions (if there is no permission taking)...that's respect towards the spouse and as you said ...adjustments.
@victoracostajr101 (42)
• United States
6 May 11
Some men are just controlling to the EXTREME! They might fear having
Their spouse go and talk about how crazy controlling the guy is or about
Other problems they might be having. I personally don't think either wife
Or husband need permission. It should be more like " I'm going here, Ill
Be back at this time" if you have a problem, tough! At least I told you where
I'll be.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 May 11
Hmmm...that's a possibility. He probably fears her talking to her folks about how controlling he is. But personally I wouldn't go the other extreme and be like 'I'm going...if you have a problem,tough'. The couple can talk it over. There might be another priority that the first partner hasn't thought of. But as you said, it shouldn't be about asking permission.
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