The joys and pains of a weekend parent...
By taski24
@taski24 (214)
Philippines
May 6, 2011 1:56am CST
My in-laws volunteered to take care of our child because they don't trust nannies to give the same love and caring that they can offer. They live at the province, while my wife and I work at the metropolis. That makes us weekend parents. We only assume parenting duties during the weekends. The upside is, we are saved from the diaper changes and the colic bouts. The downside is, we miss the milestone achievements of our child. I know this is a difficult set-up but somehow it is doing fine. At least, I am comforted by the fact that my son is in good hands. What are you views on weekend parents? I would love to know.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@greenmachine45 (430)
• United States
7 May 11
I don't agree with part-time or weekend parenting. When a person or couple decides to have kids those kids are the parents responsibility. It is the parents responsibility for the diaper changings and dealing with a colic baby. If a parent(s) isn't ready to take on those responsibilities then they should wait to have kids when they are ready to take on those responsibilities. Once a parent(s) miss their childrens milestones you never get them back.I'm a single mom who is lucky to be able to work from home. I struggle financially at times but there is no amount of money that would make me put my child in daycare or push my responsibilities on someone else. On the bright side in your case you have family members willing to step up to watch your child instead of being left with strangers.
@redvakaurvaki (4216)
• Indonesia
7 May 11
If we live separately I would think yes, but if we're not I dont think so because I'd better choose to spend my weekend with my bestfriend or boyfriend. They more know how to make a nice weekend can be
@luanakent (794)
• Brazil
7 May 11
even better is that you guys were nearer to the children.. but i know how is dificult is to leave children with someone strange .. and dangerous sometime.
Many parents are forced to hire a babysitter and many arelucky and find good babysitters.
I know that grandparents caring for grandchildren as well but i wonder:
is it fair to the grandparents?
ii it fair to the parents? and for the children?
Think about it because time never goes back.
Anyway the solution is not bad ..and it is safe.
Try to know everything that happens and you may need to exercise the duties of parents.
the most important is the quality of time spent with them and not just the quantity.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 May 11
You do what you have to do, and if this is the best way for you to provide for your family, good for you, and for your in-law who are helping you out. It must be hard being away from them so much though.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
7 May 11
Personally I couldn't do it..not judging or anything I just couldn't. I couldn't even go back to work leaving my baby during the day! I just found other ways to save and make money at home. Now I do know that this set up is not easy and many like yourselves cannot always do this and I feel for you. Missing the milestones can be heart breaking I have seen how hard it is for our family and friends in the military who go over seas for extended periods of time. My brother missed the birth of his girl as well as the first 11 months due to an extended "trip" to Iraq. I would say that you are lucky to have in laws both willing and able to take of your baby. Mine both work and would not be able to do it for extended periods of time like that. I hope that soon life will change and you can be a closer family and until then as long as that baby knows your love it will all be good in the end.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
6 May 11
As hard as it sounds it seems to be the right to do for the sake of the child and family. See parenting also includes making sure our children are cared for with the best of our abilities. Instead of leaving your child all over the place you and your partner decided that the in-laws would be best to care for the child.
So nothing absolutely wrong with that, in fact very commendable because not only are you and your partner working hard to create a better home later for the entire family at the same time you are making sure the child is being taken care of.
So as hard as it would have been for me, I find that if I had the same situation, I too would have done the same. Anything to make sure my child was taken care of properly. So with time and hard work once the two of you are well established and you have the means your family will be together again.
Therefore, just continue doing the best you can for the child on the weekends and continue your plan/goals so that the full parenting days come soon.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
6 May 11
I believe that is ok as long you do give them your full time on weekends, i am mostly like that as well, from mondays to saturdays the kids are mostly looked after by the nanny, she is not entirely 100% a nanny, she is a cousin of mine whose parents cannot provide for her and cannot go to school so i took her under my wing and i would enrol her this june for sunday school and in return she would be looking after the kids. we are even treating her as our own child even, she is 15 by the way. Well she is the one looking after my 1 year old boy and she is very responsible for her age and the two kids my daughter 6 and son 4, everyday they go visit my parents, they love spending their time there..playing. So i do not get to see them almost the whole week but at night we still get to be together unlike in your situation but often times i go home at 9 in the eve and when we arrive home, me and hubby, all of them are already asleep...so only on sundays that we get to bond with them. It is hard because i really do not get to see them much but still i know they understand and that i do take time to take a leave and be with them and spend the whole Sunday with them.
@Jiabsa (511)
• India
6 May 11
Small children always expect their parents care and attention. You don't have enough time to spend with your children in week days. So you have to find out time on week ends and make them happy. Your approach make them very happy. The satisfaction which they are getting because your presence is beyond your expectation. So don't forget to spend sometime with your little children.
@Moesha99 (38)
• Barbados
6 May 11
I believe that weekend parenting can be effective if parents demonstrate love and affection to their children. If the parents realize that it is having any negative impact on the child, I believe that this style of parenting should be speedily discontinued.